The Unintended Lessons

As an educator, and primarily in my role as the high school director, I have always believed and guided my teachers with the principle that people (our students) will one day forget the lessons we taught them - the formulas, equations, literary techniques - but they will rarely forget the way we made them feel. Education, and life, is all about relationships that we develop through each chapter of our lives. As educators, we sometimes do not have the chance to hear the outcome of every story for each student. They move on while we remain to teach the next group of students, always hoping the best for them, knowing that we tried to give them the best of us.

Sometimes, students return to update us on their college careers and beyond. I assume this happens more often in high schools because students "just left" and have their most recent memories from their high school experiences. They come back to share details about their classes, majors, roommates, and more. They often tell of a memory they had in a class or on a trip that made them laugh or made them realize something about themselves that they hadn't thought of prior to that moment. They come back to share the lessons they learned that far surpassed the curriculum that we were supposed to teach...because those are the lessons that mattered more.

I recently had an experience with a few of former students that caused me to reflect on that aforementioned principle. During the times that we talked, I was given insight into what they learned from me during the times that they spent in my classes, on my cross-country team, and the overall high school experience. One student in particular shared with me the lessons he learned along the way that he continues to rely on. He mentioned ways that I modeled having high expectations but helping students reach them, times when I let silence be my ally, moments of expressed disappointment that led to increased awareness and discipline, as well as other items.

I never set out to explicitly teach these and other lessons. They had nothing to do with the subject I used to teach. They had nothing to do with cross-country practice. The students see lessons from the educators in their lives just from watching at the ways we operate. It's surprising to learn what students take away from what our actions say instead of our words.

Now more than ever, students are looking to educators in their lives to understand the complexities of life as we all work our ways through the shifts in society. They are looking to see what we are doing more than they are listening to what we are saying. These lessons are the ones they remember long after the years fade. We must remember that who we are teaching is much more important than the content. And remember, they are watching...even when we don't think they are.