Unilever dumps complete Ben & Jerry's business at North Pole as one massive iceberg to fight global warming

It's no secret that Unilever has been looking for a buyer for their Ben & Jerry's franchise for some time now, eager to release cash and focus on expanding their personal care brands. With time running out, it appears they chose to break the conundrum with a bold move that befits the tone of the B&J's brand social media posts.

Polar cruise passengers off the coast of Cape Dyer woke up to a remarkable spectacle this morning: a gigantic chocolate chip ice cream 'iceberg' floating past their portholes.

"Well technically it's Cherry Garcia without the cherry bits", explains a PR representative from London. "It's just under 98,000 metric tonnes, the whole annual production of our US facilities. Given no one wanted take the franchise off our hands and guarantee our pedantic planet-first net-zero social justice warring Twitter account would be kept going, we thought we might as well go out in style. This icecreamberg is our swan song - I mean penguin song hahaha - and will slow the polar ice caps melting by at least 3 weeks. We'll be filming the whole process and post on Insta & TikTok daily, to raise awareness for the drama happening in our arctic seas".

Unilever has yet to disclose the carbon credit value of this action, but the consensus is that keeping the OpCo with its condescending brand positioning was u?n?s?u?f?f?e?r?a?b?l?e? untenable anyway. This final PR campaign will include celebrity flights to Cape Dyer to report the icecreamberg's melting live on Twitch, and a consumer competition for the best name in a typical B&J's pun.

#Unilever #BenAndJerrys #NetZero

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