Unhinged: Redefine Personal Growth For Women

Many high-achieving women view personal growth as the journey toward self-improvement or the changes in behaviors and habits necessary to become a "better" person. Imagine how uplifting it would be to recognize that you are already enough—as you are.

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This conventional understanding of personal growth challenges us because it assumes one must be “improved.”

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However, the reality is that you are already whole and complete.

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For high-achieving women, this notion emphasizes the conditioning we have experienced around not feeling adequate. Throughout my years working with women, I've observed that their struggles related to freedom, fulfillment, success, or happiness often originate from feelings of inadequacy.

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This mindset of unworthiness can manifest through various issues such as self-doubt, comparison to others, and seeking approval from outside sources. All our challenges can typically be traced back to these patterns of a negative narrative.

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I've witnessed numerous women pursuing personal growth to remedy their feelings of unworthiness, yet no achievement in the world can alter that!

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Another drawback of traditional definitions is reliance on someone else’s benchmarks for measuring progress. Who defines what “improved” really means?

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From my perspective, personal growth involves embracing and nourishing one's inherent strengths. It’s about deepening one's connection with one's authentic self rather than conforming to another person's interpretation of improvement.

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Ultimately, only you hold the power to define those benchmarks! You possess worth simply by existing. Personal growth should not revolve around validating your value or striving for more based on external standards of “improvement.” Therefore, redefining personal development specifically for women is essential in shifting our approach toward genuine personal growth.

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Why Many Women Pursue Personal Growth in Ineffective Ways

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It's all too common to become immersed in the idea of “doing” more. We often exert maximum effort in every task in a society that embraces hustle culture and productivity. When things aren’t going as planned, our first impulse is to push harder. Where are grace and space, as I love to call them?

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This tendency makes many high-achieving women feel drained, burnt, and overwhelmed. I've observed similar patterns among women regarding their journeys toward personal development. We tend to invest considerable energy into it—attending numerous self-help workshops, engaging in therapy sessions, and spending extensive time on introspection.

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While there's nothing inherently wrong with striving for growth through various activities, what truly matters is our mindset at the onset. If we approach personal development from a perspective of feeling unworthy, attempting to "add" more to ourselves can be likened to slapping another layer of paint onto something already peeling and damaged.

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Getting swept away by the race for self-improvement underpinned by a need to prove our value or mask feelings of inadequacy simply isn't practical. Such an approach fails to cultivate genuine space for awareness and insight that facilitates actual growth and transformation.

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To experience authentic personal development, we must shift our focus?and eliminate the barriers obstructing our inherent brilliance.

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This journey toward growth unfolds through the 'removal process.' This involves recognizing and releasing limiting beliefs, habits, and societal pressures that prevent your true essence from shining through.

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It revolves around discarding what no longer serves you while allowing your innate greatness to surface. Allow me to clarify further.

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You are born with unique talents, gifts, insight, and creativity. Observing children as they grow reveals that each possesses distinct personality traits, instincts, and intrinsic abilities.

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From the moment we come into the world, we should focus on nurturing these innate qualities rather than conforming everyone to a?standard or benchmark. Your inner greatness is already embedded within you.

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As we navigate life, we often pile on various elements?necessary for achieving success, happiness, belongingness, or self-worth. We accumulate skills and adopt identities; we develop behaviors and form habits.

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Consequently, we tend to stray from our authentic selves to favor a version of ourselves crafted for others’ approval. Frequently, personal development simply perpetuates this cycle—continuously striving to "improve" ourselves based on outside expectations without recognizing our inherent greatness.

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One essential aspect I emphasize in my executive coaching development programs is understanding the process of unlearning what doesn’t serve us.

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For high-achieving women especially, personal growth often requires a fundamental shift in mindset.

Viewing personal growth as an elimination process represents a significant change in perspective. Merely thinking about or engaging in practices isn’t sufficient; it demands a transformation in how you perceive your growth journey and?identity.

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If you believe you're inadequate compared to others or feel you lack certain critical skills or attributes needed for success, you're operating under a mindset that insists you must do more—or be more—to attain growth.

However, when you truly accept that you are inherently enough—that you've been endowed with unique strengths and wisdom—and embrace every facet of who you are, your journey towards personal growth shifts from trying to “be” more excellent to aligning with your brilliance instead. Mindset can undoubtedly be complicated.

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Our subconscious beliefs and mental wiring trap us in a cycle of self-perception. Simply reciting affirmations or telling yourself that you are enough isn't sufficient; it is crucial to undergo a transformative journey that leads to genuine belief and faith!

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This is why the concept of mindset and intentional conversations within us and others plays a pivotal role in my work with women, and it's one of the primary subjects I discuss on my podcast.

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Transforming mindsets requires rewiring our thoughts, brains, and bodies. While this process is entirely achievable, it differs from what we might be accustomed to, and having supportive guidance can make a significant difference.

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I often remind my women clients that changing their mindset begins with recognizing its current state. It's about noticing when you're engaging in unworthy thoughts or believing that personal growth means improving upon yourself rather than acknowledging your inherent worthiness as you already are.

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To initiate this shift, consider practicing self-compassion, challenging negative internal dialogues, or maintaining a gratitude journal to highlight your strengths and accomplishments. When we operate from a place of feeling worthy, we see personal growth as an enriching experience.

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We do not start “not enough;" instead, we're enhancing the greatness within us while aligning our lives and careers with this inner bloom.

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Can you appreciate how profound this transformation truly is? It can enhance every facet of our existence, allowing us to embrace more joy and vitality.

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The Significance of Personal Development for Women in Leadership Roles

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Whether leading a team, serving your clients, or leading within your community, embracing personal growth (becoming more authentic yourself) is essential.

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In working alongside dozens of women leaders and entrepreneurs, I've witnessed many facing burnout and fatigue simply because they felt compelled to be someone other than who they genuinely are.

My journey towards understanding how to become more effective leaders without excessive sacrifice has been a transformative experience.

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Unfortunately, we often lack strong examples of alternative leadership styles. Women in leadership roles are frequently conditioned to prioritize the needs of others while neglecting their well-being and self-care. The emphasis is placed on perceptions rather than authenticity.

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We attempt to measure up to existing leadership standards, which stem from patriarchal notions and were crafted primarily for men. These norms fail to accommodate women who juggle family obligations and possess strengths like compassion, intuition, and wisdom.

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However, an emerging leadership model empowers woAs we eliminate obstacles in our lives, we evolve into more embodied leaders to this approach as embodied or intrinsic leadership.

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To be an embodied leader means fully expressing your authentic self. The closer you align with your inherent greatness, the more significant influence and impact you cultivate among others—not through domination but by inspiring them simply by being who you are.

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This is where personal growth becomes essential. As we eliminate obstacles in our lives, we evolve into more embodied leaders. Are you prepared to embrace this form of leadership?

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How can one pursue personal development and discard what no longer benefits them?

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Here are five essential steps to initiate your journey:

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Step 1: Recognize that you are sufficient.

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This transformation does not happen overnight; it requires time and commitment. It’s vital to recognize that your core self possesses inherent worthiness. As I tell many women I work with, simply existing makes you worthy—there's nothing else required for validation.

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It all begins with consistent acknowledgment on a conscious level. You might choose journaling, affirming your worth aloud, meditating, or repeatedly writing "I am enough." It's about reprogramming those beliefs!

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Let me share a little insight: merely stating or jotting down these affirmations isn’t sufficient; it's crucial that you genuinely feel it, too.

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For my clients struggling with this practice, I often recommend dedicating 10 minutes each day to this exercise in solitude: find a peaceful space where you can close your eyes and take deep breaths while becoming aware of different sensations within your body.

Begin by noticing your breath—the rise and fall of your chest—and any feelings inside yourself until you gradually achieve a heightened sense of presence within your body.

From that point, I encourage women to experience "being worthy." Not just the idea but the actual feeling. What does it feel like to embody worthiness? How does it feel not needing to do more or be anything other than yourself? Picture yourself as you are right now: whole and perfect. (Because you indeed are! :).

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Though this might seem straightforward, regularly practicing this exercise for several weeks can fundamentally change your mindset about your worth.

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Recognizing that you are inherently enough makes it easier to let go of what doesn’t contribute positively to your life. It's about reclaiming both your identity and sense of value. I've discussed this further in a podcast episode linked here.

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Step 2: Commit to Doing Less

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Although it may seem paradoxical given our societal views on growth, intentionally minimizing activities can propel authentic development.

This is really about cultivating mindfulness and prioritizing what genuinely matters.

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It involves being intentional with where you direct your energy instead of pursuing whatever society deems as success, virtue, or advancement.

It's about stepping away from constant striving and disengaging from societal pressures by making a conscious choice.

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This ties back into Step One: when you recognize that you're enough, the neediness for external validation through excessive doing diminishes.

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Here are some common manifestations of seeking validation:

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- Pursuing additional degrees or certifications to enhance feelings of competence

- Extending work hours or over-delivering services at one's job

- Taking undue responsibility for others' emotional states and responses

- Overcommitting due to fear of rejection when saying no

- Sacrificing boundaries in favor of meeting others’ expectations

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Choosing to REST or PAUSE can transform everything in your daily life. Acknowledging that only pursuits aligning with your values matter allows for a slower pace and promotes mindful living—this is true personal evolution.

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When you connect with me for an alignment call, I can dive deeper into this subject.

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Step 3: Distinguish Between What Serves You And What Doesn’t

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Before eliminating non-beneficial elements from our lives or pursuing less activity overall, we must first differentiate between what adds value and what drains us.

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A practical approach could simply involve removing a fresh sheet of paper and creating two columns labeled “What Serves Me” and “What Doesn’t.” Reviewing aspects of your life and work critically, you'll start Identifying experiences that invigorate you against those that exhaust you.

I often engage clients using what's termed 'the body's GPS.'

Your physical self possesses immense wisdom; frequently, even if thoughts obscure emotions, bodily sensations offer genuine insights.

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Thus, utilizing bodily awareness rather than solely mental processes proves more fruitful when evaluating life decisions. For instance:

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I've encountered numerous women whose professional lives may seem commendable at face value. Externals affirm their accomplishments—they receive admiration frequently, but internally, they don't resonate with those achievements.

Instead, they carry feelings of heaviness?and fatigue—it’s challenging to?reconcile their psychological beliefs with physical sensations.

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Their intellect insists on the importance behind their endeavors while their bodies affirm discomfort instead. This is a physical response to the discomfort.

Participating in my coaching programs helps unveil these realities: Many participants will find their so-called “successful” careers draining them emotionally—with joylessness replacing satisfaction—and then, we pivot towards rekindling vitality within purpose-driven living.

They become capable of discerning personal happiness metrics, leading them toward manifesting fulfillment effectively!

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This sorting endeavor is a pivotal progression point in one’s personal growth and maturity journey. Tuning into physiological feedback remains paramount throughout process exploration!

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If you are curious about the program Emotional Intelligence Empowerment Program:More here

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Step 4: Identify Your Natural Talents, Genius, and Insight

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Why is identifying your natural talents, genius, and insight crucial? Isn’t personal development centered around rectifying our weaknesses?

Not at all!

When we perceive personal growth as a journey toward embracing our authentic selves, we overlook our flaws and instead leverage our inherent strengths and wisdom.

Instead of measuring yourself against society's standards, pursue your unique potential.

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What amplifies your innate brilliance?

What nurtures your distinctive strengths?

What activities tap into your genius and make tasks feel effortless?

What resonates with the inner wisdom you possess?

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Focusing on nurturing optimal potential rather than striving to fix shortcomings or operate outside one's strengths better aligns one with one's true self.

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For some women, recognizing their strengths could be as straightforward as jotting them down; it may prove more challenging for others?to?find a way that works for them.

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Many clients I've guided find it difficult to discern their genuine strengths—even their genius.

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This scenario presents an ideal opportunity to engage a coach.

Supporting my clients in distinguishing true capabilities from perceived ones is vital to my work, and investing in guidance during this phase can be invaluable.

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It’s essential to recognize that your innate strengths come naturally and invigorate you—they don’t drain your energy. This distinction is key when differentiating between learned skills and inherent abilities. I previously conducted an insightful interview with a strengths coach about these elements.

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Here are several journal prompts for personal growth that may assist you:

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? As a young child, what activities captivated you? What made time seem irrelevant?

? In childhood, what were the things at which you excelled effortlessly?

? In your professional life or business endeavors, what tasks do you enjoy most? These should feel easy enough that you'd happily spend hours on them without fatigue.

? What topics ignite an insatiable desire for more profound knowledge within you?

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Step 5: Start a Personal Growth Challenge & Take Small Steps

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They are often viewed as daunting projects requiring substantial commitment—who has time for another significant undertaking nowadays?

Effective personal growth stems from making minor but consistent adjustments in actions or habits; that's where real change happens.

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I've employed emotional intelligence as the program's backbone for many years. Coaching women entrepreneurs who faced challenges sustaining regular outreach in areas like sales efforts led me to explore how emotional intelligence can be practical.

Emotional intelligence creates momentum and empathy while fostering the bridge to grow closer—it compiles progressively over time, making accomplishments easier. Its impact grows exponentially when action is taken effectively.

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People commonly alternate between intense effort and total disengagement—a cycle of frenzy followed by quiet inactivity.

Consequently, they inadvertently initiate momentum repeatedly, failing to actualize its total return.

With minimal momentum, concentrate on defining the changes you'd like or objectives you're after, then commit to?daily consistent short engagements towards those goals.

I also support 30-day challenges. These consist of?picking one or two focus areas and?dedicating minor daily effort.

Such initiatives serve well as starting points!

After reviewing ideas presented previously (or detailing existing plans), consider which aspect might warrant immediate adjustment now, perhaps relating to earlier discussions surrounding worthy endeavors introduced in Step 1.

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You might intentionally devote just 15-30 minutes every day over multiplied days to concentrating specifically on worthiness practices through journaling, reflecting on internal narratives about proving one’s value, and actively embodying feelings signifying self-worth whenever possible.

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Adopting this uncomplicated routine yields transformative effects across various life dimensions.

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Personal development tailored toward women does not require complexities—it must only enact minor adjustments!

I hope this piece inspires alternative perspectives regarding individual advancement embedding principles proven successful among numerous women users amidst countless opportunities emerge reflected upon tiniest modifications either thought patterns intentions actionable challenge amplitudes considered driving profound influence transforming lives ultimately inspired adjacent contexts pursued diligent decisions formed empowering identities collectively empowered thus flourishing beyond confines delineated!

If anyone seeks additional assistance tackling aspects concerning self-growth, mental wellness, and stress alleviation, recommended helpful resources exist below:

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