The Unfortunate Reality

For understanding human failings, I realise that it is important to look at oneself before I look at the external or before I generalise a view.?

My struggle with my own contradictions is a great lesson and a steep step in the path of my evolution. There are many that are beyond my count but one big struggle has always been the struggle between my inner self and the facade.?

Like most people, I too feel happy when I am liked. In order to be liked, I make efforts to not cause hurt. This, at times, can cause stress, especially when my actions are contradictory to my thoughts.?

I am now trying to understand this phenomenon in a generic manner.?

While living in society, often, we try to remain civil even when our minds provoke us into uncivil behaviour. This dilemma will continue unless we start working at taming this mind of ours.?

As one grows in age as well as in positions, and as one is placed into situations wherein we are forced to play multiple roles the struggle becomes difficult to handle. In the Corporate world positions needing us to lead people further intensifies this struggle. Imagine a CXO leading a large organisation or a large unit, needing to manage all his or her Corporate relationships, simultaneously managing the multiple family roles and also needing to be seen as a social animal thus having to be seen appropriately in the society he lives in as well as in the society he was born in. More often than not, in such a situation the same person tends to display different behaviour in different contexts till he reaches a point when his favourite role dominates all other roles.?

Imagine a CXO who drives his team to perform. Drives them the way horses are driven in Ascot, or as bulls are driven in Jallikettu. He does this, either on his own accord based on his personality or he may do it because the organisation culture enforces such behaviour.

This poor role holder has to struggle with his multiple roles where expected behaviour may need to be completely contradictory. At times even contradictory to the persons innate nature. As CXO he beats up people, at the same time he gets beaten up by his boss where he needs to be docile like a puppy. In the family his behaviour will invariably depend on his experiences at work and in society.

Fortunate is the person who lives free in all the roles that need to be played. For this to happen the person playing these roles may need to remain free from internal contradictions caused by lack of harmony between thoughts,words and deeds. For this to happen there may be a need to focus on what may be happening inside. Most people (especially seniors(in age or in position))find this difficult because this may open a Pandora’s box of guilt.?

It is interesting to note that people playing these roles and struggling with their contradictions are invariably highly educated and highly skilled people who have studied everything that had to be studied about human behaviour. They may also be wealthy since most of their lives would have been lived with a single point agenda of gaining power and wealth.?

In a gist, this is an interesting situation which is good to study in one’s own self and to decide how we are doing in a situation of pulls and pushes from different stake holders in our lives.?