The unexpected treasures of depression and anxiety.

Megan Galloway sparked a beautiful discussion in a LinkedIn post about our relationships to the ever-glorified to-do list. Her reflections reminded me of an amazing ritual/exercise I've guided myself and my clients through to elevate our relationships to achievement. I shared the following in a comment on the post for all the perfectionists and recovering perfectionists who might encounter it:

I've battled depression and anxiety since I was a pre-teen. Through the hardships of this part of my life's journey, I learned that our social conditioning and upbringing can create a "hyper-achievement addiction" and this directly impacted my sense of joy and well-being. Obviously, it was sad to experience this, but I've found gratitude for it too. It helped me to design the "north star lifestyle" to pursue and follow that has been nourishing, balanced, and fulfilling on a soul level throughout my adulthood. Your post reminded me of a fun ritual I use for myself and my clients with to-do and to-be lists. I split the paper in two and create one of each list. Then, I draw a line from one item on the to-do list with one (or more) item(s) on the to-be list, trying to match up everything I want to do with all that I want to be. If something on the to-do list ends up unmatched at the end of the exercise, it gets deleted because it's likely misaligned. I've loved having this exercise in my toolbox.

People often find it surprising that I openly share about my relationship with depression and the lessons and gifts I've gained as I've navigated it. I've learned that vulnerably sharing this part of my identity often paves the way for positively empowering others. So I was pumped when Nishant Garg , prompted me to share some more with a curiosity-fueled question:

"How [has depression] served you in life and what were the advantages of depression that led you to become who you are today?"

As I started to reply to the comment, I realized I had quite a lot to say so I wrote this article instead to showcase some of the superpowers depression and anxiety have given/revealed to me.

The truth is depression has entirely shaped my identity. It's a relationship I've been in for at least two decades -- longer than most in my life. I've survived manic episodes, a suicide attempt, and more tears than I could ever measure which has been no easy feat, but I've mined the journey for gems of wisdom to keep myself going. I'll use this article to share some with you:

1) I've come to understand that we stop short as a society when we characterize mental health challenges like depression and anxiety as simply a chemical imbalance. Yes, that is true, but in my experience depression (and anxiety) are symptoms of unmet needs and desires as well as misaligned values in the environments we find ourselves in. Environments I now understand have been manufactured to oppress and repress the creativity, ingenuity, brilliance, and humanity of so many.

Functioning this way creates big and little 't' traumas that get stored in our minds and bodies. We process them mentally, emotionally, and physically day in and day out. We do this while externally bouncing back and forth from survival mode to trying to cultivate a meaningful, purposeful life in environments designed to harm us.

Cue the symptoms! How can you not be physically exhausted, sad beyond comprehension, constantly questioning why you should keep going, or seemingly incapable of living up to the expectations of others with this undercurrent as your reality?

I remember asking God why I felt the way I felt while moving through the waves of depression and sensing an alarm clock. I now understand that was a claircognizant message that the symptoms of depression and anxiety are the timbres of soul-level misalignment and deficiency asking for us to pay attention to ourselves on a soul level. Once I understood this, I started to focus on self-intimacy and self-discovery work so that I could detect with more ease what was misaligned or deficient and provide those things for myself (or seek help to access them.)

Now, when I find myself in a depressive episode or state I revel in the awareness that not only do I know how to get myself through it, but I also know that I will gain new levels of self-knowing as well as more capacity to support myself and others through the dark moments of life.

2) Depression and anxiety have also revealed one of my favorite qualities and traits about myself. As a young person, I could never understand how or why I could feel so deeply -- it infuriated me and only made me feel worse; however, as I learned to be more gentle with myself and to tune into the depths of my pain with curiosity, many other truths and emotions that I could sense and feel without knowing how or why were illuminated. Depression and anxiety were another way I came to understand how energetically and spiritually sensitive I am. Sure, pain and sadness have been loud throughout certain chapters of my life, but they showed me that there are other radio frequencies I can tune into for divine guidance, wisdom and profound understanding about the world. I use this gift every day in my work and interpersonal relationships and truly could not imagine my life without it.

3) Along those same lines, all that I've navigated and survived has given me superhuman levels of empathy and sympathy for others. It feels like there isn't a single ounce of darkness, pain, fear or sadness that someone can bring me that I can't help them hold, sit with and transmute because I've been to the depths of pain myself. In healing myself, I also know how to release and cleanse the energies and circumstances that lead to depressive episodes in my life. My spiritual and emotional hygiene practices and rituals are strong AF. This is an increasingly important skill and capacity to have as a leader. We are collectively experiencing more and more trauma that exceeds what we expect to experience. This capacity serves me in my professional career, as a business owner and global citizen who knows that revolutionary leadership is going to play such an important role in the future of humankind.

Do you want to turn your depression and anxiety into superpowers that support your interdependent relationships, heighten your intuitive insights and deepen your capacity to help, serve & heal yourself?

You can! Befriend the feelings and emotions that arise. Ask them how they desire to serve and support you. Ask them what wisdom they hold for you? Ask them what they want to teach you about yourself. You'll be pleasantly surprised by the miracles that will emerge from your inquisitive exploration of you.

I'd love to be a resource on your journey, so please stay in touch. Follow me and ring my bell here on Linkedin to make sure you don't miss a post.

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