The Unexpected Gift of Not Getting What You Want

The basic idea: Our society is filled with tips, books, gurus and ads all imploring you to reach higher for what you want. The implication is that if you get more of what you want, you will be better off.

But I've noticed the opposite in my own life. On a relatively regular basis, my life turns out better when I have to do something—or deal with an outcome—I did not want initially.

A bit more background: Like many of us, my schedule can get pretty full. There are many moments when I wonder why I agreed to take another meeting or review a document from someone I barely know.

And yet, eight times out of ten, I get something highly positive from these interactions: a valuable new connection, an idea or insight that excites me, or just an elevated sense of energy and wellbeing.

In a similar manner, many days I make the wrong choices for my long-term wellbeing. Instead of taking a hike, I surf the web. Instead of lifting weights, I sit too much.

So here's my question for you...

Do you do better—or worse—when you have complete control over your actions?

For example, I'm seriously considering lessening my control over my actions by making more long-term commitments. That could mean paying for a trainer, just so I actually make it to the gym twice weekly. Or perhaps I'll designate one morning a week as my Meet Interesting New People time (and perhaps have someone else program it.)

Your thoughts?

Bruce Kasanoff is a social media ghostwriter for entrepreneurs. He lives on the side of a mountain in Park City, Utah.