The Unexpected Door

Part 4

I was still bruised and battered from Epic Ego Beatdown #1. I spent mornings on the back porch trying to make sense of it all. Someone told me to avoid doing anything for 6 months, to create some space between the situation I had just departed and whatever new opportunity came next. Someone else, who knew that I was still angry and confused about the beatdown I had just endured, suggested I start a Gratitude Journal to remind me of the multitude of blessings I enjoyed (this was a great suggestion, even though I don't think I was very good at it). Work colleagues were convinced I had a plan and many wanted to be part of that plan. That sentiment flattered my ego, breathing some perhaps unhealthy life into it, while simultaneously causing me great anxiety because I had no such plan.

I had been aching to do something different for several years but just didn't know what that meant. Clearly, God was tired of my stubbornness; his attack on my biggest vulnerability, my ego, had pushed me out of my comfort zone with no plan. My analytical mind was trying to make sense of it all. How was I supposed to use the gifts and experiences God had given me? But while my ego had just taken a massive beating, it was still alive and influencing my thinking. My ego said that whatever I did, it had to "look right" to those on the outside - that my next gig had to be a logical career progression.

I began exercising my network, letting them know that I was ready for a new challenge. I talked to friends in other companies and met with several private equity firms who are always looking for executives to lead the portfolio companies in which they've invested. I had been on the "buy-side" of several acquisitions while at my previous company, with many of those transactions being companies we acquired from private equity. Thus, I had experience leading due diligence teams and integrating acquired entities into a larger organization. I had learned some valuable lessons in those "buy-side" experiences and thought it might be fun to be on the "sell-side" - helping to position a company to be acquired and then leading them through that transaction. Afterall, I knew what buyers were looking for and how they determined value (purchase price); both of which would be important for a seller to understand to maximize their value in the market.

Eventually, I had coffee with a Founder of a small cybersecurity company. He was looking to grow and sell his business and was interested in how I could help with that. He recognized the value of my buy-side experience, as well as my experience leading a much larger business in the same industry. We shared similar ideas about the strategic growth opportunity for the company and he offered me a chance to join him as President of the business. The goal was to sell the company with a couple years.

This was the door that opened when all the other doors at my previous company slammed shut. This was an opportunity to get that "president" title and to utilize my buy-side experience to position a company to be sold. Clearly, this is what I was supposed to do, right? This role would make complete sense to my former colleagues and broader network. Financially, there was significant upside if everything went according to "plan". God had been preparing me for this exact opportunity for many years - or so I thought.

The company was based in Huntsville, AL and I lived in the Washington, D.C. metro area so I was travelling a lot back to a part of the country where I had spent many years. My family had lived in Tullahoma, TN (just north of Huntsville) three different times for about 15 years cumulative. We loved the area and it (northern AL/middle TN) was at the top of our list for eventual retirement destinations whenever that time came.

The Founder and I hit the ground running, formulating our go-to-market story, strengthening our pipeline, and addressing a few weaknesses. Within a year, we went to market and competitively solicited expressions of interest, resulting in multiple offers. We ultimately accepted an offer with a valuation of >15x; this was much higher than what the market would normally generate for a company like ours but there was a very specific strategic rationale for the buyer that warranted this kind of multiple. What we didn't know was the capital for this deal would come from a SPAC transition. I won't bore you with the details about SPACs as you can do you own internet research on what they are and how they're supposed to work. But there are two important things to know about such transactions. First, a SPAC deal is a public transaction - it's sort of an accelerated path to an IPO and the company that was buying us was going public. As a result, all our financial data had to be submitted to the SEC and was thusly publicly available. More importantly, the SEC review prolonged the time between negotiating the deal and closing that deal. Second, SPAC deals are very sensitive to capital market conditions.

"Normal" deals typically take 60-90 days to close. Over the next 8 months, our team impressively endured all the scrutiny associated with the SEC review. During that time, the capital markets and some regulatory changes spooked the SPAC industry. As a result, after 8 months, and only 11 hours prior to Close, our deal unexpectedly fell apart. Deals falling apart at that point are extremely rare. Usually, the buyer and seller are so wedded at that point that the momentum pushes the deal through whatever turbulence might be encountered. And, in this case, the failure of the deal had nothing to do with either the buyer or the seller - we were simply a victim of some macro market events. Nonetheless, I had failed and that failure was very public. This was yet another Epic Ego Beatdown.

We spent almost a year re-establishing the company's go-forward plan and refocusing our people on that plan. While rallying the troops, I tried to put on a good face but I was embarrassed by my failure to close the deal. The team rebounded nicely as I struggled to understand, again, what had just happened. That door that opened after my previous ego beatdown led to this and everything about this opportunity made sense to me. All my experience should have made me the right person to get this done. How could all this fall apart if this is what I was supposed to do? Did I step through the wrong door?

Looking back, I recognize that the door I stepped through was the right door, it just lead to somewhere different than I expected. You see, in the midst of our corporate recovery, my wife and I started to think about relocating to Huntsville so I could be closer to the team. Like many couples, we made our checklist of what we wanted in our next, and perhaps final home. And then we searched properties online. We didn't really find anything we liked so we expanded our search to the middle TN area which was still a reasonable commute to Huntsville. At 6:00 AM on December 21st, with coffee in hand, I pulled up Zillow and widened the search circle a bit more to include a little "mountain" town called Monteagle, TN. A new home had just been listed that morning and it seemingly checked every box on our list. This was the height of the housing market boom so we knew we would need to act fast if we wanted the property. After doing a little more homework, we put in an offer that day, having never actually set eyes on the property. By the end of the day, we were under contract. We were leaving for a Christmas family vacation on December 23rd but still managed to contact a realtor who endeavored to sell our house while we were gone. She worked her magic and the house sold before the end of December. Our whirlwind ended when we moved into our new place in Monteagle, TN by the end of January, which is also the first time we actually saw our new house in person.

The sequence of events around this move was extraordinary. Everything fell into place so quickly. We immediately loved the area as we reconnected with old friends in Tullahoma, just a few miles down the road. We went back to the same church in Tullahoma where I had previously played in the praise band and, interestingly, after more than 3 years, they were still looking for a regular keyboard player to fill my vacancy. Within a week, I was jamming with those guys again on Sunday mornings. I was beginning to see the true path that lay on the other side of that door that had opened a couple years prior. Moving back to TN was meant to be. This move allowed us to set roots down in an area we would eventually retire while I still worked with my company implementing a new growth strategy after our failed acquisition transaction.

But something still wasn't right at work. At work, I was surrounded by amazing people who had demonstrated tremendous resilience in rebounding from the situation we had jointly endured. There were strong growth prospects for the company. And yet, I couldn't shake the feeling that I still wasn't doing what I was supposed to be doing. Three years ago, a momentous Epic Ego Beatdown had shoved me out of my comfort zone and opened a door to my most recent adventure. And then a few months ago that failed transaction had dealt another blow to what remained of my ego. When I stepped through that door 3 years ago, I started down a new path that simultaneously led to another ego beating and to the place I was supposed to be. I was now in the right place, but not doing the "right" thing.

Figuring out that right thing proved difficult and I'm still on that journey. But ultimately, I had to leave the corporate world. I had to get smaller. I had to quit listening to my ego and turn it all over to God - to not worry about where I was being led. I needed to create the space, and time, in which I could listen more intently to God and understand my purpose. I also needed to avoid the Identity Trap. More on that next week...

Proverbs 3: 5-6. Trust in the?Lord?with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.