Unexamined Stories We Tell Ourselves Can Dramatically Limit Our Lives

I was almost home after 40 minutes into my 45-minute walk.

The start was later than normal, and it was getting HOT.

The sun was way up, and the expected high was 100+ degrees Fahrenheit, 38 degrees Celsius.

As usual, I glanced at the swimming pool across the street.

Thoughts:

“That’s strange. The poolside chairs are IN the pool!

It must be so hot that the maintenance people want to keep them cool until later.”

That’s how conditioning starts: Something is experienced. Something is seen. Thoughts create a story to explain it.

It only took a few seconds for me to wake up and realize that was merely a reflection! ?

Yet the story had me for a few seconds.

Imagine when we are young toddlers. We don’t have a mind that discerns. Information comes in, a story is created and voila, that is “reality” explained. Next.

Rarely are the decisions we made VERY early in life examined.

Many of them are still running our lives and are not true, are outdated and interfere with what is possible.

They contain decisions about who we are and who we are not. The ego, small self (or separate self for nondual folks) identifies with all the labels and stories:

I am smart

I am a coach

I am a lawyer

I am no good at tennis

I am tired

I am good with money

I am not good with money

I’m not good enough

I don’t know what I’m talking about

I’m too smart for my britches

On and on and on. And those thoughts – if repeated and paid attention to often enough – become beliefs, and those beliefs then determine how we see the world, experience the world and engage with it. In every area:

Career

Finances

Leadership

Relationships

Health

You name it

For the first 25-plus years of coaching I tried to help people change beliefs, thoughts and emotions. But it didn’t work for me personally and I wasn’t satisfied with the work I was doing. Clients seemed to be happy, I had plenty of them, but I knew something was off, something was missing with the model I relied on.

After several years, the teachings of the great wisdom traditions came to me, and I discovered a misunderstanding.

?? We are not what we believe we are.

?? We are not our thoughts.

?? We are not our feelings.

?? We cannot change our beliefs, yet beliefs can change.

?? Feelings will always arise and disappear, yet don’t have to interfere with what is possible and our experience of life.

We can be free of the identification with a finite, limited self and live the life that we know in our hearts is possible.

It takes curiosity and resolve, yet it is the most rewarding journey I have ever been on.

My hope for all who pursue this path is that you experience more freedom, peace, love, joy and fulfillment in your life, which is your birthright – your essential nature.

Each of us feels a deep inner drive to live and express our unique essence, to bring to life the dreams and desires that flow from our hearts. This is no coincidence—we are the Infinite Universe expressing itself through us.

Just imagine: all the boundless energy, love, and magnificence of the Universe moving through you, wanting to be expressed.

And yet, somewhere along the way, something changes. We begin to feel stuck, unable to fully express who we truly are. Why is that?

It's because we identify with the ego, the separate self—the small self. We become entangled in our thoughts and emotions, mistaking them for who we are.

When this happens, the infinite energy of the Universe is forced to flow through the narrow, limiting identity we’ve created. No wonder we feel frustrated or stressed. No wonder we long for freedom—because deep down, that is our true nature.

Those beautiful visions and desires within you? They struggle to take form because the vast energy of the Universe is trying to pass through the small container of your limited self.

So how do we release those blocks? How do we step back into our natural, expansive flow?

By reclaiming the truth of who we are: the Universe itself. We must stop identifying with the finite, limited ego—with its stories, thoughts, and the way it perceives reality—and instead embrace the boundless being we truly are.

Just imagine the possibilities when you experience that freedom! The momentum of your true self unleashed! All the energy you’ve been using to hold yourself back is suddenly available to fuel what you truly desire.

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