Unemployed and Burned out? Me too!

5 Ways to Manage the Unemployment Grind - Therapist Edition ???

To validate everyone else going through it…This objectively sucks. In addition to logistic and financial strains, there is an existential exhaustion in trying to prove your worth over and over again to people who don't know you. The difficult job market whispering, “You didn’t try hard enough. Your skills aren’t marketable,” and my personal favorite, “You are not valuable.”

We have been taught productivity as a religion, efficiency an ethical code, and salary or titles as a measure of our value. So, without a job...what good are we? A fun, new kind of Sunday Scaries, isn’t it? ??

How am I doing?

Of course, there are days I am extremely productive. I apply diligently and intentionally to 20+ jobs and still manage to work contract gigs, connect with my network, and spend time with loved ones. Those days bring me renewed energy for the inevitable grind. But there are plenty of other days when it’s hard to get out of bed, put on real pants, and send yet another application into the void.

Why is this so hard?

There is something particularly difficult about the constant cycle of breaking and rebuilding. Getting genuinely excited while applying to dream roles (with referrals), only to be auto-rejected less than an hour later. Feeling self-confidence diminishing, and working hard to rebuild it every time.

Luckily, two things can be true at the same time. It’s not easy, and I am doing it. It’s not the path I thought I’d be on, and I’m learning a lot about myself. I wish the situation were different, and I’m still incredibly grateful for what I have.

What can you do?

As a fellow job-hunter, I've also heard (and implemented) people's well-meaning suggestions. “Update resumes, tailor cover letters, tap your network, change your mindset,” etc. As a therapist, my advice looks a little different.

My advice is to focus on things that improve your resilience as a human and not just as a potential employee (although landing a job would make things way easier, I know). So let’s break it down.

1. Take care of yourself physically. Nourish yourself with foods, and move your body regularly in ways that feel good to you. Stay hydrated. Get some sunlight. When stressed or burned out, we neglect the very things that help alleviate that stress. You spend hours prioritizing finding work—spend some time prioritizing yourself and your health, too.
2. Nurture other parts. I don’t know who else needs to hear this: You are more than a job. Start nurturing the parts of yourself you've put on the back burner. Re-engage with hobbies you love, and plan things you can look forward to. Whatever helps you feel more like your whole self instead of just a job-hunting cog.
3. Speak kindly to yourself. Being your own bully spikes cortisol and hinders motivation and productivity. Reframe a critical thought to something more compassionate, as if you were speaking to a close friend. Ask loved ones to share something they appreciate about you. The job market is hard on us already; don’t make it worse for yourself. You are doing the best you can. We all are.
4. Connect. Not for networking or jobs. Reach out to the people you miss, those you lost contact with or ones you’re excited to get to know! Unemployment can be incredibly isolating. Old coworkers stop responding, friends stick to their routines, and we start to feel ostracized from society. Create some points of personal connection. They can make a huge difference.
5. Keep going. Unemployment can feel awful, but it’s usually temporary. The more you show up for yourself, the more you'll be willing to try, and the better you'll feel. You are not defined by this one experience, and you will get through it. Just keep going. ??