Understanding your Self-Worth

“Mai apni favourite hu??” ( in English it means - “I am my favourite “).

I clearly remember back in 2007 when “Jab We Met “was released, I could very well relate (I am sure the majority of girls would have) to this dialogue after watching the movie because it came naturally to me.

I was this carefree, chirpy girl who loved her way too much and no one could make her feel any less than she deserved.

Fast forward to now- Little did i know, after a few years, as you grow old, feeling this from inside would become so hard and you will question your self-worth daily because of some past not-so-good experiences. Although i have learnt so much from those experiences. But, this blog is not to tell you all some sob story instead to say it out loud that loving yourself should be your no. 1 priority no matter what happens in your life. Even when there is no one to love you, even on the days when you feel nothing is right, you still need to love yourself every single day, get up and make yourself proud to take that tiny little step in the direction of self-love. You need to be kind to yourself on harder days. To realize that Self-love is the highest form of love and if you can achieve that, you can achieve anything in life. To realize that if you don’t love yourself, no one else will either.

No, I am not self-obsessed but I don’t want any random person to give me tags about how I look, how my hair is, don’t wear this or that, it doesn’t suit you, this hair colour is not good, don’t do piercing, why are you spoiling your body with tattoos etc etc.

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Yes, there are people out there who will try to break your self-confidence. In reality, it is easy to fall into the trap of being judged or judging yourself harshly and feeling bad when things don’t go your way. So why not become your own friend?

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This can radically change the way you feel on the inside and how you go about life.

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According to John Niland, an Australian Academics and Board Director, there are 6 Terrains of Self-worth.

·????? The Body

·????? Relationship and Family

·????? Career and Work

·????? Money and Status

·????? Friendship

·????? Environment and Leisure

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For many people with low self-worth, a casual glance in the mirror is enough to spoil a happy day,in a matter of nanoseconds. Our inner critic is always particularly harsh on ourselves but probably also judges others for how they look.

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Our relationship with ourselves significantly affects how we interact with other people. Our self-esteem frequently depends on how we feel we are “doing” in relationships.?The sad fact is that any relationship might well look after itself if only each partner had sufficient self-worth to take care of their “My Stuff realm”. It takes self-worth to own your stuff, to accept and work towards overcoming your baggage and behavioural patterns.

Most people spend more waking hours at work than in any other activity. For many, the absence of a fulfilling job is the single biggest issue for their self-esteem.

If you have ever worked for a leader who had low self-worth, you will know from personal experience what a nightmare this can be. In the workplace, the list of problematic behaviours produced by low self-worth is mind-boggling. Here are just a few of them:

• Inability to delegate, need to control everything, micro-managing
• Ego-boosting behaviours such as belittling others and needing to be right all the time
• Inability to tolerate disagreement or real discussion
• Difficulty making decisions
• Unethical behaviour, often driven by compulsions
• Breach of trust and confidentiality
• Attracting the wrong people, for example, sycophantic or manipulative persons with their agendas
• Not asking for help when it is needed
• Inability to retain good people, loss of valued team members who find better places to work

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Let us talk about the strategies /practices of self-worth

Take steps to feel better about yourself.

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1.??????? Use hopeful statements. Be kind and encouraging to yourself.

2.??????? Forgive yourself. Everyone makes mistakes.

3.??????? Avoid 'should' and 'must' statements.

4.??????? Focus on the positive.

5.??????? Consider what you've learned.

6.??????? Relabel upsetting thoughts.

7.??????? Encourage yourself.

A positive self-image, including a strong belief in one's abilities, can be a crucial element of mental health. TAKE CARE.

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