Understanding Your Emotions

Do you find it really difficult to manage your emotions????

We are taught to leave our emotions at the door and to make sure that we don't allow our emotions to get involved.??

That is a major challenge for most people.??

We are emotional beings, so separating ourselves from our emotions is impossible?

Stick with me because this week, I want to unpack all that and help you have a lot easier time with your emotions.??

Hi, this is Grant Herbert, VUCA Leadership and Sustainable Performance Coach, and today I want to continue our conversation around our identity, building who we are and creating the best version of ourselves at any particular time, by helping you to understand your emotions.?

You are an emotional being.??

Human beings are wired with physiological cues and clues called emotions so that we know what's going on around us in our world, and we can respond accordingly.??

Unfortunately, emotions in the professional setting have been cast aside as useless where they go: “Let’s make sure we keep the emotion out of it and stick to the logic.”???

However, that's where the problems come in.???

We've been told to manage our emotions, which is the worst thing we can try to do.??

Your emotions are there for a reason. They're there as a sign and a signal to let you know that something is going on in your world so that you can take the appropriate action to work through that.??

Unfortunately, if the mindset is that you're going to ‘manage’ your emotions, what you do is suppress, ignore, put them aside, control, and coral them. And that’s where the problems can come in.??

Emotions are a physiological clue that something's going on in and around you. It's what you make that mean that then determines the feeling. And the feeling is what you always talk about. That psychological of what you make it mean, what beliefs are coming out, and what??

you're ruminating on, what thoughts go through your mind at that particular time, and where that dialogue goes, determines how you utilise that emotion.???

For example, if I have physical pain in my chest and I make that mean that I'm having a heart attack, I'm going to respond differently than if I thought it was a bit of a heartburn.??

What I want you to do first this week is recognise that your emotions are there for a reason. Let's unlearn all those things that you've been taught before. Managing your emotions is not what you want to do. Discarding your emotions, ignoring them, and leaving them at the door will not work. What I'm going to help you do is navigate your emotions, embrace their power, and utilise them for their purpose.??

How do we do this? Over the next few weeks, I will help you with this.?

Firstly, you need to make sure you understand which emotion you’re actually experiencing.?

Over the years, there's been some teaching that a human being is hardwired with six common emotions and everybody expresses them the same way. However, these things have been debunked.??

Understanding that you do your emotions differently from how others do their emotions is very important.??

It's particularly important when you’re working with others, you look at the way they are responding and reacting around you, and if you think that they're going through a certain emotion, that's going to create a problem and a misunderstanding, which is going to be a breakdown in communication and end up in conflict.??

The first thing is making sure that you understand which emotion you're actually going through. So, to do that, the first thing that I always want to do is help you to notice the emotion.??

In the hustle and bustle of this busy VUCA world, we go through the day ignoring what's going on in our emotions, and we just work flat out, head down and tail up and whatever it else we're doing.??

However, if we're not attuned to what is physiologically happening in our body, we don't see the cue. It's just like driving down the road and not recognising that there are signs; signs to tell us when to slow down, when there's a possibility of danger or when we have to respond in a certain way. If we miss those signs, we end up with a ticket, and in the worst-case scenario, people get hurt.??

So, with your emotions, it's being able to check-in and to be attuned and open to the fact that you are going to experience physiological cues during your day that are an alert to you that something is going on.??

So that's the first thing: Notice the emotion.??

The second thing to do is to give it a name...

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Grant Herbert (aka The People Builder) describes himself as an ordinary guy, with an outstanding wife and 5 amazing kids, who has a passion to help people escape the performance trap and regain their authenticity in every area of life. He is a VUCA Leadership Mentor, Sustainable Performance Coach, Master Coach Trainer in Social and Emotional Intelligence,?and the founder of People Builders.

Visit www.grantherbert.com to find out how you can connect.