Understanding the WISE MIND

Having a strong sense of self is a life-long learning pursuit. I’m sorry to tell you it doesn’t just fall in your lap.?

This week’s blog is dedicated to shining a light on what we need to be doing to develop our authenticity in an age where comparison and self-questioning are as common as the milk in our tea.?

Let’s start with what authenticity is and why it is important.

What is it? - in its purest form, authenticity is being real or true. BUT this causes a massive problem for human beings. Mostly because human beings need to fit in in order to be accepted and so instinctively we adapt and conform to society’s needs.?

Most of us anyway.?

Think fashion, language, make-up. Yes there are trailblazers - but even they are looking for admiration from others. Mostly.

When running a business, or leading a company at Director, Investor or board level - how you show up has a massive impact on how competent you are perceived to be. So when biologically all we really want to do is conserve energy and not push ourselves too hard - the reason we end up doing things we don’t want to, is to live up to an expectation of ourselves that we believe others have.?

It’s a hot mess.?

The Lucienne Coaching Model

Having spent years researching identity and sense of self - I found myself needing to come up with my own coaching model that would help to explain some of the things I see in my regular coaching sessions.?

We know from previous work I have shared; how important it is to understand the difference between beliefs and values. Well this model takes those foundations and moves us one step further in our cognition.?

Taking our knowledge of values one step further - developing ourselves with consistent and proactive work helps to create an authentic us that means we don’t burn out.?

It’s important to understand that you are not just one thing. There are many different selves at play - in the course of an hour you may switch between all of these to best suit your needs.?

The key is understanding who you are being, and why you are being it.?

Past and Future Self

The funny thing is that most of who we think we are comes from who we believe we have been in the past and who we are aiming to be in the future. If you’ve ever said - “I’ll wear this thing when I’m 3 lbs lighter” you know what I’m talking about. There’s a HUGE problem with this though - mostly because neither of these selves exist.?

The past self is mostly an inaccurate memory of who you were. And the future self is completely unfathomable. Neither self actually exists.?

Real and Ideal Self

The real self and the ideal self are linked because they are both based on the idea of who we are creating. The Ideal self is the cause of so much pain in society today - purely because of the volume of comparison that we are subject to. The real self - whilst it sounds great is just as toxic. It is the accumulation of years of habits and processes that have created who you are that have become unconscious. Both of these selves are dangerous because of how unaware we are that they are governing our lives.?

The Unknown and ought self

I’ve put these together because you know as little about the ought self as you do the unknown self. The unknown self is you on a cellular level. The things you can comprehend or (mostly) control. How your blood pumps through your veins for example - or the state of your microbiome. The ought self is a tragic element of who we think we are because it is based on what you believe other people think about you. Ever assumed that someone at the BBQ doesn’t like you? This came from your ought self - what you THINK another person THINKS of you. All made up and most likely false.?

Great. So now you know all of these exist - it’s time to get all High Performance on it.?

Clients will sometimes be asked to evaluate on a daily basis, which of themselves was governing. The key being - everytime you ask that question you are entering the wise mind.?

The Wise Mind

THIS is your authentic self. The you that you allow yourself to be when you are present in your thinking and being. Just like exercising your biceps - every time you evaluate who you are being, you are stepping into the wise mind.?

I am no doctor. I share what I know based on years of research and anecdotal evidence with myself and clients who are aiming to be High Performers much more consistently.?

And if there’s something I can tell you - it’s this. Stepping into neutral and engaging your wise mind to ask yourself who you are being, is one of the best self-coaching methods you could ever use to become more authentic and happy.?

High Performance is about understanding who you are. What better way to do it than to use this model?

You’re welcome!?

Original blog source https://www.luciennecoaching.com/blog/understanding-the-wise-mind