Understanding SELF, then LOVE and then SELF-LOVE

In a Society where individuals lack Love for Self, can there be any real (non-transactional) Love & Compassion for each other?

Can there be true Giving with Happiness & Abundance? (not Sacrifice or Sympathy)

Self Love, when peaks up, it reflects in ones Happiness. When the Happiness overflows from an individual's presence, actions, intentions, thoughts, it brings Love & Compassion for others.

We can't talk about the World, without first talking about Life. Similarly, we can't talk about Love for others, without understanding Self Love.

But there is a problem here. We already have many "Philosophical" versions of Self Love

Pampering, Obsession, Bias, Selfishness, Self Centeredness, Self Righteous, Self Respect.. and many such

We've jumbled them all up with the term Self Love.

Its obvious that we don't understand Self Love, of course we can't!

We can't even understand 'Self' & 'Love' separately, let alone together :-D

If I don't know clearly who I am (my Self), nor do I understand clearly what is Love, then how will I ever know what is Self Love?

We need to first Understand Self, then Love & then Self Love..

So how do you measure Self Love?

Check Happiness!

What would be the state of Happiness of someone who has higher Self Love?

Certainly much higher! Right?

Now if you ask anyone generally, "How Happy are You?"

A Usual practiced response is, "I am doing great" or "I am very Happy"

We don't even take a while to really think, analyze and understand how happy really we are at that moment.

[Learn how to Master your Happiness 10 on 10, 24 x 7! - Being Happy by Choice ]

And due to this Projection, World will look like a place where everyone is Happy, with highest Love for Self and for all others.

But let's face the fact (at least for most of us) that we are really not Happy always & we have a dire lack of Self Love for sure. And thus every other human problem exists as a consequence of this lack of Self Awareness (& so Self Love)

How can we say that? Well! to understand this, we need to ask these few questions first to ourselves.

• Would you Doubt someone you Love?
• Or rather Believe in them unconditionally?
• Would you feel ashamed of someone you really Love?
• Or would rather make sure they feel great about themselves?
• Would you ever feel Sorry & Pity towards someone you Love?
• Or would you like to see them Take Charge & stay Happy always?
• Would you ever Judge someone you truly Love? Demean them ever? Let them down ever?
• Or would you encourage them and support them no matter Who or What goes wrong?

Now please see objectively, how has been your behavior towards yourself.

Can we excuse ourselves of this undue projection? Just for a while..

and try to have a very objective, non-judgmental & unbiased view of what's happening with our minds inside..

Let's cut off from our emotions for a while, disconnect and see the whole situation as someone else, a 3rd person, but not you.

Observing Self can't happen without consciously disconnecting from your Emotions

See your surrounding with its people, things, movements, chaos, silence, everything, including yourself in it, as one of the many Human beings who can think.

The only difference is that you also have a seamless access to see this one person's (your) thoughts & emotions as well, while for others you can just see their actions and behaviors, and can only imagine about their thoughts & emotions, can't really be knowing it already; not like how you know about your own Mindspace.

[Learn how to Master your Mind with ASK Mind Coaching ]

Please stay absolutely true to yourself, replace any judgment with willingness to Understand.

And Ask yourSelf again..

Are You really, fully & deeply Happy?

Think. Think..

• Do we have enough Love for ourselves to really see what's happening within?
• Do we have enough Love for ourselves to really do something about it and take charge?

You don't have to answer it to anyone, just need to ask for your own understanding of where do you stand factually.

You'd see that we often don't operate from Love towards Self. We judge ourselves, doubt ourselves, let down ourselves, pity ourselves, just so many times!

Worst part is being Okay with fluctuating Happiness & a Mediocre Life

We are programmed to strive for the rewards of staying Mediocre by choice: Comfort, Convenience & Pleasure

Questioning Self, disturbs the status-quo, the comfort, so we don't like such questions.

Say Power, Or say Problem with 'Questioning' is, that it triggers a conditioned behavior of Defense, Resistance & Reluctance in us, to keep up a more acceptable Self Image (and we feel it is critical for our existence?)

Thus we end up Faking an Image to ourselves first, and then try towards others

Because what People think about you, is more important often than how you really feel inside (we rarely bother to understand what's going on inside, why & how)

• We feel Shame, we hold Guilt, we feel Regret, we Blame ourselves of many wrongs.
• We fear judgments of People, because we know we are capable of getting influenced by their judgement & start judging ourselves as well.
• Even reacting to someone's judgment of you, is nothing but getting affected by their judgment, isn't it?

If you really Loved yourself, would you allow yourself to feel any of it?

If someone calls you an Alien, you'd laugh, you won't get defensive or start "Standing for Yourself" (Or would you?)

Because you know who You are really, thus you know You're NOT what They Think You are.

Knowing that You are not really sorted & happy in life, will damage your Image of projecting a Happy person (or something else)

But isn't that Great? because Images are anyway shackles to your (otherwise) unconditional Happiness. Images will keep you blinded to the Real YOU!

Losing an Image feels like losing your Identity, but thankfully even your Identity is not You, so nothing wrong in losing it really! You can anytime create or destroy your Images & Identities, as many as you want.

• What if you Discover your True Self, once & for ever?
• Would you still choose to hold Images? Or would you rather then operate from the Awareness of who you are truly?
• What if you get an absolute understanding of your Self? such that it doesn't change as per situations of life.
• Do you want to Discover the True YOU? one who is infinitely Bigger than all your achievements, failures, goods, bads, rights, wrongs, imperfections, flaws, strengths, weaknesses, past, present & future.

[Learn how to Master your Life with our Self Discovery & Life Leadership Program - Master Of Life ]

So What happens if you actually have Clarity of Who You Are? (beyond whatever whoever thinks, including you)

You become Aware of the fact, that the Real You is far beyond the reach, of any such Mind-made Virtual Vulnerabilities whatsoever

While you have no problems with whatever people think, its their mind, their choice.

You realize that you have more than enough Love for yourself that you don't need any approval, agreements, acceptance from anyone outside. That's when Self Love starts to bloom inside of you, and is visible from your Happiness that overflows to become Love & Compassion for others, free from conditions, expectations & attachments.

So how do you really grow Self Love, is by growing your Awareness about Self and your Clarity about Love. Learning is the only, & the best key :)

[To Learn more, Take Charge & Start Leading your Life with Happiness & Clarity, Schedule a Zoom Call for a personalized Self Assessment, Live with a Mind Coach ]