Understanding Resistance: The Two Layers That Hold Us Back

Resistance can show up in many areas of life, often in ways we don’t expect. We feel frustrated with certain aspects of ourselves or struggle to embrace change, but we rarely dig deeper into the reasons why. Understanding resistance can be the key to real transformation, and it begins with uncovering its two layers.

Layer 1: Conscious Resistance The first, more obvious layer of resistance is something we can consciously observe. Think of this as the times when you feel annoyed with someone, avoid a situation, or decide you don’t want to feel a certain way. You’re aware of these choices and opinions because they’re sitting in your conscious mind. This type of resistance is easy to identify because it sounds like, “I don’t like this,” or “I don’t want to feel that way.”

While conscious resistance is easy to spot, it doesn’t tell the full story. It’s the visible surface of our reluctance, a response we use to avoid discomfort. But there’s another layer beneath it, one that operates beyond our awareness.

Layer 2: Unconscious Resistance The second layer is deeper and harder to detect. This is unconscious resistance—the judgments we hold that lie below our awareness. These judgments are more subtle but far more influential. They sound like, “I’m not the kind of person who feels that way,” or “That’s just not who I am.” They allow us to avoid confronting feelings or situations that don’t align with our self-image.

The power of unconscious resistance lies in its ability to operate unnoticed. By deciding that sadness, anger, or fear has no place in our lives, we push these natural human experiences into the shadows, blocking our path to growth.

The Irony of Avoidance Ironically, the second layer of resistance often has us chase transformation in all the wrong places. It’s like the story of the drunk looking for his keys under a streetlight, not because he lost them there but because that’s where the light is. We ask for tips on how to be happy while avoiding what we truly need to confront. If we stay in the “light” of what’s comfortable, we miss the real work that happens in the dark.

By recognizing these two layers of resistance, we start to see how our discomfort with certain emotions or experiences holds us back. Growth begins when we’re willing to look beyond the surface and into the places we’d rather avoid. In the next post, we’ll explore practical steps for working with these layers and moving beyond them.

Resistance isn’t a wall—it’s a doorway. When you recognize its layers, you open the path to deeper transformation. Subscribe to my weekly email list for more insights on navigating leadership challenges: https://bit.ly/AQinsights.

And don’t forget to join the conversation in the Ontological Leadership Network on LinkedIn, where leaders are tackling resistance and stepping into growth together–https://bit.ly/LinkedInOLN.