Understanding Relationships Through the 6 Human Needs

Whether you’re working on your relationship with yourself, strengthening your bond with your partner, or trying to reignite that initial spark, this guide is for you. And while relationships are certainly important, they don’t always have to be so serious. We’ll keep it light. Let’s jump in!

How to Effectively Communicate Using the 6 Human Needs

Communication is about so much more than words. To truly connect, we need to understand what drives our partner’s behavior and reactions. This is where the psychology of the 6 Human Needs comes in. These needs are Certainty, Variety, Significance, Love/Connection, Growth, and Contribution. They form the foundation of our motivations and can guide us toward better, more meaningful communication.

A. Certainty

Certainty is our need for security, stability, and predictability. If your partner thrives on Certainty, they might like things planned out in detail. This is the person who wants to know what’s for dinner not just tonight, but three weeks from now!

If you’re more spontaneous, you can still meet their need for Certainty by offering a little predictability. Instead of saying, “We’ll figure out dinner later,” try, “Let’s try that new restaurant on Friday.” This gives them the reassurance of a plan while keeping things open-ended enough for some excitement.

B. Variety

While some people need Certainty, others crave Variety. This is the need for change, excitement, and adventure. A Variety-seeker might want to swap their usual routine for a spur-of-the-moment road trip or experiment with exotic foods.

If your partner craves Variety, avoid falling into a monotonous routine. Surprise them with spontaneous outings or try something new together. Instead of another night of watching TV, suggest a salsa dancing class or trying a new cuisine. You’ll not only meet their need for excitement but also score some major “cool points.”

C. Significance

Significance is all about feeling important and valued. If your partner’s primary need is Significance, they’ll want to feel like they’re making a meaningful impact on you or others.

Show appreciation for the little things they do. Rather than a casual, “Thanks for doing the dishes,” try a more enthusiastic, “You’re the dishwashing champion!” Everyone loves feeling recognized, and a little extra effort in your praise can go a long way.

D. Love and Connection

Love and Connection is the need for bonding and affection. For those who value this need, small gestures like hugs, kind words, and quality time are essential.

To nurture this need, make time for simple moments of connection. Even during busy or stressful times, a quick “I love you” or a comforting hug can make all the difference. These small gestures of affection remind your partner of your bond and keep the relationship cozy.

E. Growth

Growth is the need for personal development and learning. If your partner is driven by Growth, they’re always looking to improve themselves and explore new skills or ideas.

Encourage your partner’s interests and join them in their pursuits when possible. Suggest taking a cooking class together or exploring a new hobby side-by-side. Supporting their growth can bring you closer and give you both new shared experiences.

F. Contribution

Finally, Contribution is the need to give back and make a positive impact. If your partner values Contribution, they might feel fulfilled by helping others or volunteering.

Find ways to contribute as a team. Volunteering together can strengthen your bond while allowing you both to feel like you’re making a difference. It’s a way to connect over a shared purpose and foster a sense of unity.

Conclusion

By understanding these 6 Human Needs, you can start to see what drives your partner’s actions and better meet their emotional needs. Next time you find yourself in a disagreement, ask which of these needs might not be met, and adjust your approach. It’s like having a cheat sheet for better communication, helping you foster a more fulfilling and harmonious relationship.