Understanding principles and values, and how they impact our lives

We discussed many concepts related to communication in our previous articles. We all know that communication is one of the most critical skills required in all fields. It affects personal as well as professional lives equally.

Communication stems out of our beliefs, thoughts and values. Let us understand values and how they affect our communication, our behaviours and our actions.

To understand values, let us understand principles and how different they are from values using Dr. Stephen R Covey’s book ‘The 7Habits of Highly Effective People.’ We refer 7Habits time and again because it is one of the most powerful books (highly researched) in behavioural change that can bring lasting change in our lives.

What are principles? Principles are self-evident natural laws which are universal, timeless, acts objectively on everyone. They are external to ourselves. They give predictable outcomes. Let us take law of gravity. It is universal (affects everywhere on earth), timeless (existed since the formation of universe and will continue to exists), objective (acts equally on everyone without discrimination). I cannot defy principles and acting from outside. For example, we cannot jump from 5th floor of a building (without any protection) and land on the ground without any injuries. ?

For more examples of principles, think about all the sayings and proverbs we have.

Stitch in time saves nine.

Honesty is the best policy.

Action speaks louder than words.

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

Rome was not built in a day.

It’s no use crying over spilled milk.

Out of sight, out of mind

Where there’s a will, there’s a way

Time is money

Time and tide wait for no one.

There is no substitute to hard work.

Better late than never.

You can see that all these provers actually tell you some interesting principles that makes the world go round.

What are values? Values are self-chosen beliefs and ideals, what we give importance to. They are internal. It is our personal preferences or system we choose that guides our actions. They are formed based on our upbringing, environment and our personal experience. Values can change over a period of time. Valyakoli, the dacoit can become Rishi Valmiki. King Ashoka who was ready to shed blood for expansion can turn to non-violence.

Principles are like a lighthouse (they cannot change and they guide) and values are like a ship (person whose sailing his life based on certain value system).

A child learns from parents that honesty is the best policy. One day, when he doesn’t do his homework and teacher asks him the reason, he says, ’I was watching TV’. Teacher punishes him and he realises that this principle doesn’t work. Next time, he says he was unwell and teacher accepts it. This reinforces that honesty is not the best policy. Honesty slips lower in his value system.

When we live in a country where the corruption is high, people have no option or incentive to follow honesty. In fact, they know that with corruption they will escape so there is no fear.

Everyone has their own unique value system. It is not about right or wrong but people learn and form certain value system that guides their communication, behaviours or actions.

There is a priest walking through a dense forest. He sees a cow running frantically, reaching the end of the path and then taking a left and disappearing. Within few seconds, you see a cruel butcher running with a dangerous looking long knife in his hand. He asks you, which side did the cow go? Left or right? What will be your answer? T

There are two values which are acting here. First, always speak the truth and second, saving life of any living being is our duty. Which one would you choose? It depends on your value system. If you give more importance to speaking truth, you will speak the truth. If you give more importance to saving life you will lie.

?Once upon a time, there lived two princes. The younger prince was practicing archery and was aiming at swan flying. He hits the bird and it fells on the ground. Elder prince picks up the inured swan, applies medicine and saves the bird. Both are behaving as per their value system. Younger one wants to be the king and he is learning skills to protect his country. The elder prince was high on kindness and mercy. Different value systems lead to different ways of communication, behaviours and actions. They lead to different results. Deeper change in value system leads to lasting change in the results we have in our lives. When we are not getting the desired results, check your beliefs and value system.

Few years back, when I was in sales, I was given a high-end leadership open workshop to sell. I thought it won’t sell as it was too expensive. Yet I gave half hearted try. I got some nominations and that changed my thinking. It is not about the investment; it is about the value you provide that makes a difference. After that change, I sold many high-end international certification workshops.

If we want to live a happy successful life, we need to align our values to principles. Principles will not change. They are universal, timeless and external.

Law of harvest - Farmers interact with natural laws directly. They have to follow the natural laws. We can see these self-evident natural laws acting on a farmer directly. Farmers have a certain window to perform certain activities in farming. He cannot procrastinate. For example, during flowering stage, as soon as he sees some flowers, he has to use a spray to increasing flowering. Increased flowering means increased fruits and better yield. If he sprays before or after, spray will not be effective. As soon as he sees any pest attack, he has to spray pesticide. If he delays, his crop and yield will be damaged.

In the modern world, we cannot see these principles impacting us directly. We tend to believe that we have cheated these principles. Childe lies to his teacher about homework and escapes punishment. He feels he has bypassed the principle. But sooner or later, the impact of lies he is going to say subsequently will impact his life.

We all know we should eat healthy diet. We need to exercise every day. We need to sleep early and start early. We need to stop smoking or limit alcohol. We have this new fad of e-cigarette, extremely dangerous but teenagers find it cool. We need to spend time and money on developing our knowledge and skills. But we ignore. We watch web series, IPL, chat and spend time on social media. One day, we see we are overweight. The fats that accumulated slowly has become stubborn. It leads to diseases. We don’t get sleep because of the wrong sleeping patterns. Our knowledge and skills have become redundant. We have become stagnant and our colleagues are moving forward.

We see people around us like politicians, cricketers, actors, businessmen and social media influencers, seeing their conduct believe that most of them have cheated principles. We have to remember; all these fields have severe competition. It requires extreme hard work and consistent efforts to reach there and stay there. In many cases, their life is at risk. We wrongly equate money and wealth to happiness and success. They may be rich, famous and even successful but are they really happy? Are they living a peaceful life? Probably that’s the kind of life they wanted create for themselves. What kind of life we want to create for ourselves?

There is no substitute to hard work (one of the principles). Smart work makes hard work easier. There are no shortcuts to success. Align your values to principle and see yourself living a fulfilling life. Start now. Better late than never (another principle).?

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