Understanding and Overcoming Resistance

Sometimes, conflicts aren’t bitter or personal. Instead, it might seem that a person is resistant—not listening to what you have to say or refusing to understand what seems so clear to you. Ultimately, there are no resistant people, only inflexible communicators.?

Often, we as communicators aren’t willing to change our language so others understand us better. For example, if German was my native language, and I attempted to converse with you in German, but you spoke only English, how successful would that conversation be? Not very much, I guess, but often, in attempting to communicate with other people, we use language that others cannot understand. To be understood, we must sometimes learn to speak someone else’s language.

Realize that when others seem resistant, you might just need to become a little more flexible in how you communicate. If you have a point you are trying to get across, remember what Stephen Covey said: “Seek first to understand and then be understood.” Take a few moments to understand what the other person says. Repeat to that person what he or she said.

When conversing, instead of shaking your head and mentally arguing against what the other person says, give that person a chance. You might learn something from the perspective of someone else, despite whether you agree with that person’s viewpoint. The other person’s perspective might not be the one you want to adopt; however, you might find an opportunity to learn something new.