Understanding Negotiation Styles to Get Better Results

By Steven Strickman, LSSMBB

Why Negotiation Styles Matter

When you're negotiating a deal, you might wonder: "What matters more—style or substance?" The truth? Both. Sure, preparation is key - knowing what you want, researching the other side, and having a solid backup plan (BATNA). But style? That’s what determines how the conversation plays out. Some studies even suggest that communication skills matter more than the actual deal points.

Sun Tzu, the ancient Chinese general/strategist, put it best:

"Know the other and know yourself: One hundred challenges without danger."

In short: If you don’t understand both your own negotiation style and the other party’s, you’re walking into a battle blindfolded. That’s why it’s crucial to recognize styles—yours and theirs—so you can steer the negotiation in your favor.

The 5 Negotiation Styles

Negotiation experts break styles down in different ways, but one of the best frameworks comes from Wharton professor Stuart Diamond. He identifies five main types:

1. Assertive (or Competitive): Focused on winning. These negotiators use pressure tactics and care less about relationships.
2. Collaborative: They aim for win-win deals, openly share information, and focus on long-term success.
3. Avoidant: They don’t like conflict and might delay or dodge negotiations altogether.
4. Accommodating: Keeping the relationship smooth is their priority, so they tend to concede more easily.
5. Compromising: They find a middle ground—each side gives up something to reach a deal.

Once you know these styles, the next step is figuring out where you and your counterpart fit in.

How to Read a Negotiator

Every negotiation is a game. Are you in a chess match, a fencing duel, or building a Lego house together? Understanding styles helps you see what game you’re playing.

Here are some telltale signs/phrases that you might encounter:

• Assertive/Competitive: “Look, this is the best deal you’re going to get—take it or leave it.” “The price is the price.” ?“I can’t do anything more here…”
• Collaborative: “Let’s find a solution that works for both of us.” ?“What if we structure this deal in a way that benefits us both long-term?”? “We’re agreed on the big things – I think we can address what’s left”
• Avoidant: “Let’s circle back on this next week—I need more time to think.” ?“I don’t want to make any commitments right now.” ?“I’ll have to consult with my colleagues on this”
• Accommodating: “I don’t want to make this difficult, so let’s just go with your proposal.” “I can make that concession if it helps move things forward.” “Does this work for you?”
• Compromising: “How about we just split the difference?” “If you’re willing to give a little on price, I can adjust the delivery terms.”

Ideally, you’d know someone’s style before the negotiation. Sometimes you can dig up clues—checking their LinkedIn, asking mutual contacts, etc. But most of the time, you figure it out in real-time:

• Ask open-ended questions about their goals.
• Watch their body language and tone.
• Listen actively—what do they emphasize?? Are there recurring themes?

People aren’t always 100% one style, but they usually lean toward one. Spotting it early gives you an edge.

How to Handle Each Style

Once you size up your counterpart, you can adjust your approach:

• With Assertive types: Stay calm, don’t get rattled. Use facts and logic. Let them "win" small points so they feel in control.
• With Collaborators: Be open, work together, and build trust. But don’t let them turn it into a never-ending discussion.
• With Avoiders: Be patient but persistent. Create a low-pressure environment to draw them in.
• With Accommodators: Reinforce the relationship, but don’t let them give away too much. Help them feel good about saying "no."
• With Compromisers: Focus on creating value instead of just splitting the difference.

The Bottom Line

You can’t change who you are, but you can tweak your approach. If you’re overly analytical, lean into relationship-building when needed. And sometimes, mirroring the other person’s style helps build trust.? Just be sure to keep your eyes on the prize.

Your negotiation goals are your North Star. Understanding styles and having sharp emotional intelligence (EQ) are powerful tools—but only if you use them to drive the deal toward what you need. Stay in control, read the room, and make the right moves at the right time. That’s how you win.

Good luck with your negotiations!

Sources / Suggested Reading:

Getting More: How You Can Negotiate to Succeed in Work and Life by Stuart Diamond

Bargaining for Advantage: Negotiation Strategies for Reasonable People by G. Richard Shell

Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It by Chris Voss

Steven Strickman is the President of Serratus Management Consulting, Inc.?He helps companies understand how they spend their money, and improves their purchased expense outcomes by developing sourcing and negotiations strategies, and improving supplier contracts.?

Steve is a Certified Lean Six Sigma Master Black Belt, and has also received PMP

Certification.?He holds a BS in Materials Science and Engineering from the University of Pennsylvania, as well as an MBA from The Wharton School.