Understanding Negative Emotions

“Anyone can become angry - that is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way - this is not easy.”

This comes from Aristotle’s publication The Nicomachean Ethics. The roots of understanding emotional intelligence go back much further than the 40 or so years that modern man has become aware of its significance.

During a lifetime, all human beings experience a full range of emotions in response to changing situations and stimuli. Emotions are a source of information that helps us to understand the world and positively handle potential danger.

This week’s newsletter considers negative emotions in order to create awareness so that we can choose how to use them more positively.

Why are some emotions negative?

Negative emotions are completely normal. They are encoded into our DNA and trigger neurological and physiological responses.?They ensure our survival in response to severe threats by motivating us to take lifesaving action.

Denying or hiding from negative emotions can lead to further emotional pain. Overindulging in negative emotions and not taking action to resolve them can trigger a downward spiral into depression.

It’s normal to seek to move away from emotions that make us feel bad and it’s important not to fall into the ‘happiness trap’ of believing that negative emotions are a sign of weakness or low emotional intelligence.

All emotions have a purpose. Becoming aware of our emotions and seeking to understand the purpose behind each one helps us learn new responses to support our emotional growth and sense of well-being.

Before reacting to a negative emotion, you can seek to draw on other sources of information including - previous experiences; stored knowledge; memories; personal values; and the desired outcome for any given situation.

Standardised negative emotions

As we’ve begun to explore, negative emotions are completely normal. Without them, we wouldn’t be able to appreciate positive ones. At the same time, if you find you consistently have a tendency towards one particular emotion – especially a negative one – it’s worth exploring why that might be.

I’ve summarised 8 of the more common negative emotions and why they might arise below. More detail is included in the Module 3 handbook.

Anger - feelings of fury, rage, resentment, wrath, revenge

Annoyance – less intense than anger, feelings of frustration, irritation

Sadness – feelings of depression, regret, sorrow, despair

Fear – feelings of terror, fright, danger due to immediate situations

Anxiety – feelings of panic due to perceived or future situations

Guilt – feelings of blame, shame, remorse

Hurt – feeling heartbroken, wounded, harmed, violated

Apathy – feelings of lost enthusiasm, motivation, or interest

Regret – feelings of loss or sadness over past situations

Cycle of negative emotions

This process draws on research associated with the negative emotional response called ‘rumination’. It’s considered an avoidant form of coping with a negative emotion or negative event. It can lead to fixation when you just can’t get an emotion or situation out of your head, and ultimately to a spiral of negative thinking, depression, and poor well-being.

It is much more effective to acknowledge the negative emotion and then move into a goal-oriented state that enables you to move forward.

5 simple tips to help avoid the cycle of fixation and depression, or the state of ruminations are –

Step 1 - Acknowledge the emotion and consider the exact emotion, identify it to expand your repertoire

Step 2 – Draw on the Emotion Self-Management Cycle to choose your response and take positive action

Step 3 – Change your state by deep breathing, moving your body, laughing, or practicing mindfulness

Step 4 – Increase your awareness of your emotions so that you can catch yourself before you spiral into negativity

Step 5 - Seek an intervention – this could be through discussing with a trusted friend, or seeking support from a professional

Effects of prolonged negative emotions

This is a great quote from Ruth Bader Ginsberg.

“Anger, resentment, envy, and self-pity are wasteful reactions. They greatly drain one's time. They sap energy better devoted to productive endeavors.”

To me it says that negative emotions are diversions, they waste our time. When you know about her life and the significant challenges she faced, then you can see how this attitude helped her to achieve both the impact and success she deserved.

Major health impacts arise from the prolonged impacts of negative emotions. While understanding that negative emotions are a healthy part of life, there is a definite downside to giving them too much free reign.

If you spend too much time dwelling on negative emotions and the situations that might have caused them, you could go into a state of rumination that results in a spiral of fixation and depression that we considered on the previous slide.

In this spiral you can end up feeling worse and worse, the result of which could be a number of detrimental effects on your mental and physical wellbeing.

The problem with rumination is that it increases your brain’s stress response circuit, meaning your body gets unnecessarily flooded with the stress hormone cortisol. There’s considerable evidence that this is a driver of clinical depression (Izard, 2009).

Further research has linked rumination and prolonged exposure to negative emotions with the following negative physical impacts –

• Overeating
• Smoking
• Increased alcohol consumption
• Insomnia
• High blood pressure
• Cardiovascular disease
• Clinical anxiety
• Depression
• Digestive disorders
• Decreased immunity
• Increased risk of cancer

Responding to negative emotions

I love this quote from Napoleon Hill….I absolutely agree and when you think about it, it just makes sense. He is best known for his book Think and Grow Rich, published in 1937, and among the 10 best-selling self-help books of all time.

”Positive and negative emotions cannot occupy the mind at the same time.”

If you feel like your negative emotions are getting the best of you, that you’re not expressing them in healthy ways, or getting stuck in ruminating behaviours, then this is a summary of evidence-based techniques that assist us to respond to our negative emotions more productively –

1. Envisage your 'Best Possible Self'

2. Practice Gratitude

3. Explore mindfulness

4. Learn how to respond versus react

5. Know when to take a break

6. Attend differently to negative people

7. Move your body to change your state

8. Dispel inappropriate negative thinking

Find out more…

Module 3 of The POSITIVE Lawyer? program covers emotional intelligence, positive and negative emotions, gratitude and kindness, and mindfulness.

Register your interest here OR book a discovery call with me.?

My aim is to inspire you to transform your working life and achieve great things and I look forward to joining you on your journey!