Understanding is more important than adjustment

When you read this statement according to me, where there is a understanding there cannot be any sacrifice and where there is a sacrifice there are no things for understanding. Now let's understand this with an example. take a husband wife, both are earning well and both resume to their duties in the morning and come back in the night. They both are now planning for a baby in real life. Now a general thinking will be, lady must sacrifice with her job for the baby at least for 3 month before birth and 6 to 9 month after birth, so total 1 year approx she should be away from her job.

Now let us imagine that there is best understanding between the husband and wife in this case, the husband will never pretend or never show off that the lady is sacrificing, the way of care by husband will cover all such things. Husband will keep motivating her about her joining back job and her new achievements in life. But if we take an example of sacrifice by wife, she will be totally in depression for whole period of pregnancy thinking about what is she missing during this 9-12 month period is her career aspirations. Therefore, to have good understanding is the best in relationship and the understanding automatically keeps sacrifice away from relationship.

You may also say that when there is understating in a relationship, the little adjustments that the both of you make is know as a compromise and both of you are willing to compromise for each other because you understand each other. Now, when you don't have understanding into each other’s insights, you would name the little adjustments that you make as sacrifices, something that you do unwillingly.

However, after some time, you or the other person would think that they have made so many sacrifices and the other person has done nothing for them. Because there is no understanding, they won't understand that the other person has made some adjustments too, maybe more than them. So now you decide what is more important to you: understanding or sacrifice.

Compromise is that’s one thing I have learnt to keep a relationship going. You will never find a perfect partner. You have to work on to make your relationship perfect. The way I see it all your relationship has a very important ingredient - Friendship. Just the way, you don’t break up with a good friend over small misunderstanding and quarrel. Rather you always find a way to open up freely and unashamedly to your friend. Similarly even in relationship, you have to treat your partner as a friend the moment there are some disturbances in your relationship. Sit down talk about it, the way you do with a friend. Bring in humor, make it silly - it works.

But relationships do require some kind of sacrifice, but we shouldn’t give up or give in without thinking it through. It is important to consider the pros and cons, have clear communication with your partner, ask the tough questions, and make sure you are sacrificing for the right reasons. The right kind of sacrifice can bring people together, but sacrificing for the wrong reasons may be worse than no sacrifice at all. Little adjustments for each other's happiness help to increase trust among the partners and self worth.

And every person who has been with you - thick and thin - naturally will think good of you. Its only the situation that makes people takes bad decisions. Like we say in Hindi “Halaat/Samay bure hote hai, Insaan nahi” And here of course, the reason I'm not giving a straight answer as of what is good or what is better is because every person is different, their mindset is different and the way they behave in a relationship is also different. So while some people would choose one option some would choose the other. Hence no straight answer. You decide what suits you best. Cheers!