Understanding LGBTQ+ Allyship

In the quest for a more inclusive and accepting society - and in reality, becoming a better person, LGBTQ+ allyship matters. It's not a simple act of self identification. It's complex. It's beautiful. It's hard. It's worth it.

What is Allyship?

Allyship refers to the actions, behaviors, and practices that non-LGBTQ+ individuals take to support and advocate for LGBTQ+ people. It involves standing against discrimination, advocating for equal rights, and fostering an environment where everyone can feel safe and accepted regardless of their sexual orientation or gender identity.

It is not an act of self declaration without doing the work. It's an earned title.

The Pitfalls of Self-Declared Allyship

1. Performative Support: Self-declared allyship often leads to performative actions where individuals make grand gestures or statements without substantial follow-through. This can include changing social media profiles during Pride Month (rainbow washing) or using inclusive language in public without addressing biases or supporting LGBTQ+ causes in private. For example, it may also include saying on your organisation's website that it is LGBTQ+ inclusive, but internally, there are no gender neutral toilets, there are not policies to reflect LGBTQ+ staff and families, or there are no 'out' LGBTQ+ people in leadership
2. Lack of Accountability: Declaring oneself an ally without commitment to ongoing learning and action leads to complacency. True allyship requires holding oneself accountable, seeking feedback from the LGBTQ+ community, and being willing to make changes based on that feedback.
3. Misguided Efforts: Without proper understanding and continuous education, self-declared allies may unintentionally perpetuate stereotypes or support initiatives that do not align with the needs of the LGBTQ+ community. Effective allyship involves listening to LGBTQ+ voices and aligning actions with their expressed needs and goals.

The Components of Authentic Allyship

1. Education and Self-Reflection: An authentic ally is constantly educating themselves about LGBTQ+ issues, histories, and experiences. This includes understanding the nuances of different identities within the LGBTQ+ spectrum and reflecting on one’s own biases and privileges. In uncomfortable experiences, authentic allies sit with the discomfort, rather than abandoning their allyship in pursuit of their own comfort.
2. Listening and Amplifying Voices: True allies prioritize listening to LGBTQ+ individuals and amplifying their voices. This means giving space for LGBTQ+ people to share their stories and experiences without speaking for them, over them or making assumptions about their needs. True allies limit how much they listen to people without LGBTQ+ lived experience.
3. Taking Action: Allyship involves tangible actions such as advocating for policy changes, supporting LGBTQ+ organizations (and financially!), voting for political parties that support LGBTQ+ rights, and standing up against discrimination in everyday situations. It’s about using one's influence and resources to create real change.
4. Building Inclusive Spaces: Allies work towards creating environments—be it at work, in schools, or within communities—that are inclusive and welcoming to LGBTQ+ individuals. This involves implementing policies that protect against discrimination and fostering a culture of respect and acceptance.
5. Continuous Commitment: Allyship is not a one-time declaration but a lifelong commitment. It requires continuous effort and a willingness to grow, learn, and adapt to better support the LGBTQ+ community.

5 Steps To Check Your Allyship Going Forward!

1. Which Pride flag are you using?

This one below is the most inclusive flag to use. It's the Intersex Inclusive Progress Pride flag.

2. Are you following any LGBTQ+ voices on social media?

There are thousands of voices, but here's a few I'd recommend on instagram:

Schuyler Bailar

Trans Faerie Prince

Them

Mermaids

Stonewall UK

3. Are you using your pronouns on your public profiles?

Putting your pronouns (he/him, she/her, they/them etc) shows people in the LGBTQ+ community that you see them. Wherever your name goes, put your pronouns too - email signature, zoom name, social media profiles.

4. What books are you reading?

Reading books about LGBTQ+ history makes a huge difference to broadening your understandings.

Try these for starters:

He She They: How we talk about gender and why it matters - Schuyler Bailar

The Pink Line: The World's Queer Frontiers - Mark Gevisser

The Book of Pride: LGBTQ heroes who Changed the world - Mason Funk

5. Listen to LGBTQ+ Podcasts!

Here's a few for you to try:

What the Trans?!

Bad Gays

Homo Sapiens

Queer(y)ing Asylum

Let me know how you get on!

Cath