Understanding Imposter Syndrome

You're here because you have already achieved some outer success and got to your current executive leadership position. But growth doesn't have to stop here. There is a thrill and satisfaction in challenging yourself, stretching and seeing how much you can achieve. Have an impact and make a contribution.

The talents, skills and tools that have got you to this point will not necessarily take you further. Or the approaches you've used to achieve this success may have been expensive in terms of time, energy, stress and effect on your relationship. You need new or upgraded power tools to make sure you can sustain or advance your position more easily.

The High-Performance Executive Newsletter introduces these tools, so that you can level up, as video-gamers would say. It draws on many areas of solid research into high-performance in business, including neuroscience, psychology, physiology, trauma therapy and flow-state study.

The three essential areas for high performance are neuro-regulation (to get and stay calm), clear the negative self-talk and the beliefs that create them (including imposter syndrome), and create new success habits.

This week we're looking at imposter syndrome, which is a huge roadblock to high performance.

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Imposter Syndrome Basics

Imposter syndrome: Secretly feeling like a fraud, when you're not, and fearing being found out.

What is Imposter Syndrome?

Imagine standing on a winners podium, with everyone around you applauding your achievement.

But instead of enjoying that moment, you feel like you're standing in a pit.

A cold, dark, hole-in-the-ground kind of pit.

You feel isolated, confused, anxious or overwhelmed. This feeling can lead to exhaustion, burnout and even quitting your career.

It's a strange sensation to know logically that you are successful, competent and capable, but to feel inside that you're not (quite) good enough.

To try and make sense of that contradiction, your mind concludes that everyone else has got it wrong.

That you're not as good/talented/smart as they all seem to think you are.

And that any day someone is going to figure it out and fire you.

?This is imposter syndrome - self-doubt and secretly feeling like you're a fraud, even though you're not.

You suddenly feel out of your depth, out of control, and like you don't belong.

Worse, imposter syndrome can seem like the problem is you – a personal weakness or a character flaw.

It is neither.

Imposter syndrome is not who you are, and you can eliminate it.

I speak to hundreds of executives every year about their imposter syndrome.

They tell me they just want some relief, just to get out of the pit.

Getting free from imposter syndrome seems like a huge mountain to climb.

But the right tools and guidance are like having a map of the secret pass through the mountains. There's still some work required, but it's gentle and taken step-by-step it is much easier than you might think.

Absolutely achievable.

The Cause: Imposter syndrome is caused by a false belief about your worth and identity. I'll discuss this underlying belief more in a future newsletter.

Most people hold this belief unconsciously, that is, they're unaware of it.

Instead, they notice negative self-talk, self-doubt and feeling not good enough.

Or they notice they reflexively have certain repeating behaviours.

Imposter Syndrome Behaviours

There are ten behaviours typical of imposter syndrome. You will have your own unique combination from the following;

Perfectionism - which includes making no mistakes, being right and having the answer to any question

Deflecting praise - saying you were lucky, it was good timing, you had help etc rather than admitting your achievement

Comparing how you're feeling on the inside to how others look like they're doing on the outside

Secrecy - not telling anyone about your inner doubts

Lying (defensively) to prevent you from being 'found out'

Hiding - your opinions, ideas, or not speaking up enough. Sometimes this is a reluctance to ask questions too.

Avoiding - promotions or a new role by turning them down or not applying. In business owners, this will be not submitting proposals or answering enquiries.

Over-preparing - spending far more time than is needed on a project, presentation or report

Procrastinating - putting work off till the last minute and completing it in a rush.

This is either to avoid possible criticism (because it wasn't your best work) or a way to try and stop yourself from spending too long over-preparing

Thinking you don't have enough (e.g. qualifications) when you do

People often get frustrated because they judge themselves for doing these imposter syndrome behaviours. These behaviours themselves create stress, distraction, reduce efficiency and make you dissatisfied with yourself.

However, these behaviours are just the visible symptoms of imposter syndrome.

This is why trying to 'fix' these behaviour patterns rarely works long-term. They're not the real problem, and their cause is not apparent.

Towards a solution

To address imposter syndrome, we should start with a few insights;

You're not alone

Over 70% of high-achievers experience imposter syndrome. But because few people talk about it, it can seem like you're the only one.

It's not you

Imposter syndrome is your brain's normal, natural response to a (false) model of the world. You developed this model (belief) unconsciously - it's not your fault, and it's not who you are.

You don't have to live with it

The stress caused by this false belief is huge. But your brain has neuroplasticity. That is, you can change beliefs with the right methods.

Typical coaching techniques such as confidence techniques, mindset, NLP, affirmations or trying to fix the imposter syndrome behaviours directly have only a limited effect. Psychologists consider imposter syndrome to be 'normal functioning', so it doesn't need therapy or CBT.

To live a life free from imposter syndrome, you need to eliminate it completely – which means tackling the underlying, unconscious belief.

Changing the underlying belief behind imposter syndrome will eliminate it once and for all.

This requires three-part transformational work to rewrite the original belief that drives imposter syndrome.

1. CALM: You need to reduce the stress that imposter syndrome is causing

2. CLEAR: You work on clearing these old beliefs

3. CREATE: Then replace the old beliefs with new and supportive ones to make sure the changes are permanent.

This process leaves you with a tremendous sense of self-worth, satisfaction and acceptance of yourself and a connection with your true self.

You may notice that these three parts are also the three principles we look at in this newsletter. This is no accident because freeing yourself from imposter syndrome automatically upgrades your ability to perform at even higher levels, and with more comfort and enjoyment.

You weren't born with imposter syndrome, so why live with it?

Here's what life looks like when you're free from imposter syndrome:

• Effortless self-confidence.?You simply forget to doubt yourself
• Authenticity.?You speak up and make the impact and contribution you've always wanted to make
• Calm and in control.?You remain unflappable, no matter what the people around you say and do
• Vibrant energy.?You can switch off at the end of the day, so you sleep well, and wake refreshed
• Focus and productivity.?You no longer get distracted or derailed by negative thinking
• Finally feeling good enough.?You become the kind of leader you always wanted to be

And finally...

The last point I'd like to make in this introduction to imposter syndrome is that there is a lot of misinformation (or simply misunderstanding) on the internet about imposter syndrome.

The most damaging wrong idea is that imposter syndrome has no solution and you just have to live with it.

This creates hopelessness and perpetuates a huge amount of unnecessary suffering.

And it is completely false.

There is absolutely a systematic, repeatable, proven way to eliminate imposter syndrome. For good.

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What I’ve loved (re-read!) this week:

The First 90 Days by Michael Watkins

Sometimes it’s not imposter syndrome!

About 5% of the leaders who seek help from me about imposter syndrome, don't have imposter syndrome at all.

They are really lacking the skill of starting a new role.

Because good leadership is often considered a 'natural talent', wrongly I might add, these leaders think it's just them, that they're not a good enough leader.

It causes huge stress and holds them back from stellar careers.

For these leaders, I always recommend 'The First 90 Days' because the book's implicit message is 'leadership is a skill'.

I'm grateful for that.

But more importantly, Michael Watkins lays out a framework and a strategy for excellence in a leadership transition. Even 'soft skills' like company culture and politics.

Fabulous book, and if you're starting a new role, read it now.

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An action step you can do today…

A live poll in a recent talk I gave showed that 'comparing yourself to others' was the most common imposter syndrome behaviour.

This isn't just measuring yourself against others, like comparing your height.

?This is where your colleagues all seem to be so much 'better' than you - more confident, assured, and more successful than you.

And you compare how they look on the outside to your inner feelings of self-doubt or not feeling quite good enough.

It can make you feel even worse

What can you do?

First, realise that this comparing is just a symptom of imposter syndrome.

It's caused by the unconscious belief that drives imposter syndrome. And it's become a habit in your thinking.

?Here's a tip to tweak that habit, and dial down the comparing.

?When you notice that you are comparing their outside to your inside feeling.

Stop.

Your habit is to look for differences.

Instead, start looking for similarities.

And not just one.

Make a list of ways in which you are the same.

This closes the 'gap' between them and you. You then start to feel more like you belong

Of course, to stop comparing completely, you need to get rid of imposter syndrome as we discussed earlier.

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We'll cover more on imposter syndrome in future issues.

Do subscribe and share!

I’m Dr Tara Halliday, Imposter Syndrome Specialist.

I’ve been a holistic therapist and high-performance coach for over 21 years.

I'm the creator of the Inner Success for Execs programme - the fastest and best solution to imposter syndrome.

My book, Unmasking: The Coach’s Guide to Imposter Syndrome was an Amazon #1 bestseller in 2018.

Check out the Inner Success for Execs programme for fast 'up levelling' of your internal leadership tools.

https://www.completesuccess.co.uk

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Think you may have imposter syndrome? Take this free quiz to find out:

https://bit.ly/ImpostorQuiz

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Want to fast-track and have a chat about your inner success, book a quick 15-minute call here:

https://bit.ly/callTara

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Wishing you a safe, relaxing and thoroughly enjoyable Christmas weekend!

Tara

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