Understanding How Your Mindset Is Formed

The word ‘mindset’ makes most people light up when they hear it. This is because the subject of mindset is one that most people have heard as often as possible and they believe they now have adequate knowledge of it. However, this is often not the case as knowing about something does not equal understanding of it.

Most persons why they have heard the word used in several cases and contexts, but they are yet to come to a grasp of the impact their mindset has on them. Yes, just in case you are not aware, every one of us as humans is made up of mindset.

So, what exactly is mindset?

Mindset refers to a set of beliefs you hold which are shaped or formed by your past experiences and which affect or determine the way you think, see yourself and act. These beliefs are not formed all of a sudden but are the sum total of everything you have come to accept as being true or false ever since you were born.

Your mindset refers to the perception you hold of your abilities. It is what you believe to be possible or impossible for you as an individual. It determines and creates your reality. So, whether you succeed or fail in anything you do or involve yourself with has a great deal to do with the quality of your mindset.

For you to understand mindset better and how it affects you, I would like to explain it to you using what you are already familiar with – your mobile phone.

Now, when you buy your mobile phone newly, it comes only with the necessary system applications needed for normal operations. However, if you would like to make your phone do certain other things, you would need to begin to install other programs not already in it.

As you install these new programs, you notice that you are now able to do certain other things with your phone that you were not able to do with them before. While you can do these things, you will also notice that some of these apps begin to modify the way your phone was originally designed to function.

This is the same way your mindset is formed and the same way it affects you. When you are born, you come with a mindset but your mindset has no negative or positive impact upon you at this stage, just normal operation.

From the moment you are born, your parents begin installing different programs into you with the hope of making you appeal to their expectations of you. They begin to say certain words to you, treat you in certain ways, and teach you certain things. Now, don’t get me wrong, I am not saying these are wrong. I am only trying to help you understand how your mindset is formed.

After a few years, your parents consider you old enough to play outside, so they allow you to socialize with other kids in the neighbourhood. Now, remember that these kids themselves have parents who are also installing programs in them. So, when you now meet these kids at the playground, you begin to exchange programs, you learn from them their programs while they learn from you. And oftentimes, new and different programs are developed through these interactions that combine the two programs – yours and theirs.

Soon, you are shipped off to school to be taught by teachers whose mindset your parents do not know of and from a curriculum the government developed. So, another round of programs is again installed into you by these teachers and by the lessons you are getting from the school. While in school also, your socialization with other kids takes on advanced levels and your existing programs are modified the more.

This is why often, parents notice that their children change from who they used to know as soon as they resume school. In the United States and most other Western countries, parents are now resorting to home-schooling their children as a result of this.

Aside from the impact these external forces have on the formation of your mindset, your mindset is also formed by your personal experiences. Have you ever seen an adult who has one phobia or the other – maybe being scared of the dark or being scared of heights? Check it, the root of these can be traced to their experiences.

Observe little children, oftentimes, when they experience hurt from an object, it will take a great effort on your part to encourage them to come close to such an object again. Most times these experiences are carried on into adulthood and they continue to determine how such an individual reacts and acts.

As a kid, I was a very good public speaker, bold and confident. From age 3, I began doing public presentations at our church. One day, at age 8, something happened that affected me greatly and I reclined into my shell until my late teens. ]

I was doing a presentation in Church, reciting the book of Psalms 68. While I was doing this, I forgot a verse and while trying to recollect it, I struggled and the adults in the Church laughed at me. I was so embarrassed that I ran out of the Church crying. I went home that day not talking to anyone as I felt that I had embarrassed not just myself but my mum.

My mum tried hard to appease me but all to no avail. I locked myself indoors refusing to come outside for any reason. Later that night while we slept, I woke up at the middle of the night and cried again.

That was the last time I did a public presentation as a kid. I was afraid of repeating the experience, so I avoided doing a presentation entirely. Unknown to me, this decision was shaping me in a significant, albeit negative way. I became timid and more reserved than normal. It was years later in my late teens that I began intentionally working on undoing the damage this experience had on me.

So, your mindset as an individual is formed from three major factors – orientation, experience, and association.

Now, my question is this, are you aware of how these three factors have shaped you?

Victor Ifegwu-Mbonu is a Personal Growth Coach and Trainer who focuses on helping individuals go DEEP, that is, he focuses on helping them discover, equip, extend, and promote themselves so they could live the lives they were created to live. Check out his blog through this URL for more of his growth contents: https://personalgrowthandleadership.com