Understanding Fear

As with all emotions, fear exists on a spectrum.

Many of us are experiencing fear on some level at the moment. We are unified in this experience.

Before we can work with and transform our fear, we need to understand it. Below are some insights taken from my 'Trauma-informed Relational Somatics' practitioner training manual. While we are not all therapists, we can all seek to understand ourselves better. Once we identify out fear, we will immediately start to feel safer, because what we know is far less terrifying than what we don't.

In its milder forms, it may be identified as discomfort or worry, and in its most severe state it is experienced as terror or horror. The scope of our trauma story will indicate the severity of fear that is likely to be suppressed within our psyche and soma. For example, if we had an explosive parent that screamed and name called, we may experience fear, whereas if we have been raped or forced to watch physical violence will have experienced terror and horror. In my experience, horror comes from the watching aspect.

I. Psychology and organizing principles of fear

‘I am not safe. Something bad is happening, or threat is imminent.’

Fear is a direct response to threat. We may respond differently to fear depending how acute/intense or chronic/prolonged it is.?

?Neurophysiology:

Fear may cause us to experience a fight/flight response, which is commonly linked to anxiety, or a freeze/shut down response. It may also cause co-activation which is both threat response existing at once, either concurrently or in oscillating patterns.

In the context of relational trauma, there is also a psychological and relational response to fear that occurs.

II. Fawning as a response to fear

Above all, we will seek safety. We will do anything we can to keep the peace, maintain order, or avoid further experiences of harm. This often requires us to ‘switch on’ or ‘fragment’ and learn to engage in the best way to do that. In modern trauma terms, this is known as a ‘fawn response’. It is important to note that a fawn response may associate to both a fight/flight or freeze/shut down response. It is not a physiological response. It is a psychological and relational adaptive response.

Someone who has learned to fawn to keep relational peace, will often develop into someone that is a) a people pleaser b) doesn’t express their own thoughts and feelings or in some cases cannot even identify them c) find it hard to make choices/decisions d) learns to grin and bare it/smile when they don’t feel like smiling e) become anxious when the people around them are experiencing emotional distress or dissatisfaction.

Most people who have a strong fawning adaptation, also hold deep-seated resentment and anger that has built up over years of holding in their feelings. From a therapeutic standpoint, in order to get to these more difficult suppressed feelings, the underlying fear must be released first.

III. Aggression as a response to fear

Attempts to create safety can arise in aggressive behavior. This may look like raising voices, narrowing eyes, blaming and shaming others, threatening behavior or even ‘aggressive silences’. The former aspects relate to a fight/flight response, whereas the ‘aggressive silences’ relate to a freeze response; that is the person is so afraid, that they need to disconnect in order to neutralize the threat and achieve safety.

Someone who has developed an aggression response to fear, usually has a history of volatility or codependence in their early attachment relationships, where aggression or manipulation has been used to ‘win’ or coerce others into submission. The person is modelling the relational map they have been shown. They have learned: a) if someone threatens me, I can neutralize the threat with aggression b) if I disallow the other person’s experience, I will gain the upper hand, which therefore means I will be safe.

Note: just like the neuro-physiological response can oscillate, so too can the psychological/relational response.

IV. Somatic Presentation

Fear most commonly presents as different bracing patterns through the body. It may also affect our posture. Either three will be a tendency to curl forward and self-protect or there will be a tendency to rigidity.

Common bracing patterns occur in the neck, jaw and shoulders, as well as the hips/psoas. There may also be contraction at the diaphragm/lungs and stomach.

?For those who have experienced terror/horror, bracing patterns are often deeper and extended into the toes, the eyes and the deep muscles of the pelvic floor.

When we can learn to identify the signs and symptoms of fear inside us and within those around us, we can respond with intention. The antidote to fear is safety. The question becomes: 'How can i help myself (or the people around me), feel just a little bit safer?