Understanding the Circle of Concern/Influence/Control

Circle of Concern

This is the outermost circle and it shows things we often worry about but cannot control no matter what we do. It includes the weather, a family member’s health, war, politics, violence and school shootings, and celebrity habits.

Focusing on them can make a person feel powerless and frequently worried, because truth be told, there’s an infinite list of things that we care about but are out of our power.? This arena, being a focus, creates anxiety, worry and fear given that we cannot control it.?

Circle of Influence

After the circle of concern, we go a little deeper and enter the circle of influence. It’s an area where we have some impact, thus the term “influence.”

Take, for example, a co worker who’s always behaving rudely, is not doing their job, or sows seeds of distrust in the work environment. ?You know that you cannot control when he ?stops behaving that way, but it may be possible for you (and everyone else in the room) to inspire him to be more engaged and focus on objectives by serving as an example and simply not feeding into the negative behaviors! If you are the manager, you can influence the behavior through leadership example, or by having a constructive conversation with this person and set the standards. But, whether or not this person takes action is solely up to them, not within your control. We should not take other people’s inaction as our personal failure. ?We are only responsible for our actions and reactions.

As you can tell, the circle of influence includes your relationships and connections. When you’re in situations where other people are involved, understanding and developing this circle helps you to become more proactive. And let’s face it, if there is something/someone in this circle that negatively affects you personally or professionally, you have to cut the ties.

Circle of Control

This is the innermost circle, which consists of all the things that we can directly impact. It’s where we have full control, regardless of the events that transpire under the circles of concern and influence. Our work ethic, attitude, focus, personal and professional growth is within this circle.

This circle your “inner life” simply because it involves you and only you. Some additional circle of control examples include what you read and watch, how you respond to others, and where you put your energy. Mastering this circle takes practice, especially that we’re faced with a lot of things that affect us emotionally. Master yourself, before attempting to influence others.? Personal success, however you define it, starts with understanding yourself, your strengths, weaknesses, and pursuing personal initiatives BEFORE we work on others.? It is easy to criticize others, it is hard to be honestly self aware.

Why Focusing on the Circle of Control is Important

Focusing on what you can control allows you to master yourself, which leads to increased happiness and success in life. As the Irish poet Oscar Wilde puts it, “A man who is master of himself can end a sorrow as easily as he can invent a pleasure.”

It promotes a proactive mindset

Being proactive means that you make a conscious and repeated effort to improve yourself. Research suggests that it boosts your performance, well-being, and physical health. The circle of control helps an individual realize that yes, they can create positive changes by actually taking responsibility for themselves (their inner lives).? INITIATIVE is a learned skill that comes from self awareness and building confidence.? It is the single most important action you can take in day to day efforts…being proactive and seizing the initiative to a address a challenge.

Improves mental health

There are plenty of things you can do to be mentally stronger. What’s great about these mental health strategies is that they fall under the circle of control.?Practicing gratitude , exercising, getting enough sleep at night, setting personal goals, and joining a supportive community are some of the things you can decide for yourself no matter what you’re going through[* ].

Allows you to become more flexible in life

Feeling disappointed over events can mean that you have a strong attachment to certain results. You always want things to happen your way and unfortunately they don’t.

Understanding that you can only control yourself allows you to become more open to different outcomes. In other words, you continue doing your best while being more accepting of the things that cannot be changed.

How to Apply the Circle of Control in Your Life

1.?????? Set reasonable personal goals. Most people, make unreasonable goals and quit early in the process. Baby steps.? To run a 6 minute mile, you must first run a 1:30 quarter mile. Start with small efforts, get some ‘wins’.

2.?????? A military phrase that highlights this is ‘ounces equal pounds and pounds equal pain”.?? Small things matter and we should start with the small steps to get to our goals Identify the steps that it will take and focus on one step at a time

3.?????? Focus on your actions, not the actions of others…wondering why, how etc about others can drive you crazy with anxiety. I don’t control the actions of others, I do control my reactions.

4.?????? Relationships matter. Cultivate relationships that make you a better person and exit relationships that create chaos. Boundaries!

Expanding Your Circles of Control

As your circles of control and influence expand, your circle of concern shrinks. This does not happen overnight and will require daily practice.

It’s important to catch yourself getting worried when the uncontrollable happens, then you redirect your focus back to the innermost circle. Over time, you’ll worry less about these circumstances and life becomes a lot better.