Understanding This Will Blow Your Mind

In a lot of the work we do, we assist people own their internal fight. Surrender, rather than resignation, brings one back to balance, or harmony. Yet is surrender needed when there is no fight?

For me I was born fighting; to be seen, to be valued, to be loved. Surrender wasn't in my nature, only the fight, for I need to be seen as courageous and therefore worthy. This was to both men and women.

I took the fight to the extreme in the external world by joining the military going to war and being in combat. When blown up, shot at or rocketed, not once did I see the trigger man. This became very symbolic when I allowed myself to understand that I created all this. This new paradigm: that I am the creator of my own reality was life changing.

But … I became addicted to creating ‘darkness’, some would label this Post Traumatic Stress which was diagnosis given to my particular set of symptomology. I needed to find and slay my demons, my dragons. Entering into the darkness became a crusade. I’d spend hours upon hours in meditation or deep healing work. This fight allowed me to feel courageous. Once again, fight, fight, fight.

Yet the fight was my rudder. The revolution is dictated by that which you are revolting against.

Why was I addicted?

Because it bought me pain and I deserved it for I was ashamed of who I believe I was and felt the guilt of a little boy. The wound that festered was that of powerlessness.

At this point, I did not see I had labelled the darkness as negative. I had this as a given, a fact. The darkness was dark, scary, pain causing and therefore bad. I needed to be rid of it. So I fought the darkness. I also didn’t see this view of my dark side caused a disconnection from my creative side, which lives in my darkness. Darkness, chaos, realm of infinite potentiality are

Then the pendulum swung to the opposite pole and I realised I simply needed to surrender. Lean into the emotion and surrender to the energy. Allow it to flow it's natural course.

It was in the process of this surrendering I realised that peace was not the opposite of war, of the fight; surrender was. I was able to see and own the two poles and receive the gift of my lesson: the fight only exists in a paradigm of non-alignment. Surrender is only required if I'm in the fight.

I remember being in a situation in Iraq as a Combat Team commander leading over 100 soldiers. My team were providing security to a bridge building reconnaissance to help a local town. The Mayor was with me when I received a radio message that militia with a rocket propelled grenade were threatening one of our security detachments. My team asked permission to engage. I told them to pull back into a position of observation and wait further orders. Turning to the Mayor, I explained I could sort this out with violence or he could do it his way. He graciously thanked me and disappeared. That day we didn’t fight because it wasn’t our fight to have. The Mayor sorted it out very firmly, without violence. In the process we gained huge respect and trust from him. I did not fight nor surrender, I simply saw there was no fight in the first place.

How many times do we fight because we can, because we need to be right or heard or valued? Maybe we fight simply because it is the way we’ve always responded. We might even go to the extent of justification through using the ‘honour’ word. Yet this use of the term is egoic and linked to having to be right.

Honour is such a powerful feeling, yet often misunderstood. The honour I hold is given to me by no man and therefore cannot be taken away by another man. It is divinely bestowed, by a power greater than I, therefore is removed only by judgement of self.

This understanding, and transcendence of the poles of fight and surrender in me and the subsequent embodiment, led to the powerlessness leaving me.

It is my paradigm through which I view a situation that results in me seeing a fight – or not. In the moment I can equally choose to ask another question:

1. where is my rigidity causing a fight? and,

2. how is this situation presenting a positive lesson for me?

Upon asking these questions, I can choose to look for harmonic opportunities to align with a positive outcome – or not. I bring choice back to me, I bring my power in the moment back to me. I am now beyond the need for resilience and in the realm of thriving.

Much love