Understanding Autism: Why Sensory Issues are Much More than Preferences

Like many parents, I thought it was important for my children to learn how to swim. This meant many hours sitting poolside watching their lessons, which was both enjoyable and often a nice break from the constant activity of busy family life!

When my youngest child was ready to learn to swim, we had moved to a new town, so we sought out suitable lessons. The most suitable sessions were in a hospital. There, there was a large hydrotherapy pool that was used to teach swimming to children when patients were not needed. So far, so good.

What I had not counted on was the temperature. Hospitals are notoriously warm to cater for the needs of sick patients. But a hospital swimming pool was on another level. The room holding the pool was just staggeringly hot all the time, to the point that you felt you were drinking the thick air rather than breathing it in. Every swimming lesson that my son took became an endurance test for me. This was not just a case of a bit of discomfort – I really would have agreed to almost anything to be allowed out of that room.

Looking back, the difference between sitting in a room that is just a little too warm for your taste and an environment like that swimming pool sums up the difference between personal preferences and autistic sensory issues. They are worlds apart, but it can be challenging to imagine how the latter feels unless you have experienced it yourself. On top of this, the stimuli that can cause such major issues can often be experienced by others with no problem whatsoever.

It is this latter point that can make autistic life so tricky at times. All the parents at the hospital swimming pool agreed that it was excessively hot (though some coped with it better than others.) When you are autistic, environments that feel entirely ‘normal’ to most people can be impossible for you to deal with.

We all have different preferences when it comes to sensory issues. Think of the battles in many workplaces between those who always want the windows open and others who are always too cold! But even in these cases, the difference in the ideal temperature desired is probably only a few degrees. Autistic people can have sensory differences that are substantially different from those of others in the same environment.

Let’s look at a couple of examples. A common autistic sensory issue is struggling with noise. However, this is often more nuanced than just being about the volume. It can relate to particular types of noise, while other sounds of a similar volume are not an issue. I have a major sensory issue with sound, but I am quite happy listening to music of my choice at a high volume and attending loud concerts. My problems are with hearing many voices at the same time. My autistic brain has no filter to focus on a single conversation, or none at all, when I can hear many people speaking at once. Not only do I hear all those conversations, but I cannot stop my brain from trying to follow them all simultaneously.

I wish this were simply a case of nosiness, but it is not a matter of choice. I cannot tell you how hard I have tried to tune out the buzz of voices in a crowd. I am no more able to do it than I can close my nose to avoid an unpleasant smell. As you may imagine, the situation quickly becomes unbearable, and my choices are to leave as soon as possible or to have a meltdown. I have done both in open-plan offices, at conferences that suddenly break into small group discussions, and on buses and trains. I would not choose to be this way!

Then, there is sensitivity to light. For some autistic people, being in a space with many white surfaces and bright lights can feel like being forced to stare directly at the sun (which, of course, you should never do.) They are not simply uncomfortable in that environment; it is unbearable to them. It does not matter if others do not have a problem – that does not change their experience in any way. If the lighting cannot be addressed, their only choice is to melt down as their senses are completely overwhelmed or to leave the environment causing the problem.

These same experiences can happen with respect to any and all senses, according to the makeup of the individual autistic person. We can struggle with smells, textures, or tastes. What can then compound the problem is if an autistic child is having a problematic sensory experience but is unable to communicate the problem to an adult who can help them.

When you are young, much of the world can be a dazzling place at the best of times, and you often lack the understanding and vocabulary to explain exactly what is causing you distress. But that does not make your experience any less authentic or valid. Autistic children sitting covering their eyes and ears or protesting loudly but unclearly are being overwhelmed by their senses and responding in the only ways they know how.

If you want to know what it feels like to have a sensory sensitivity, imagine a situation where you were overcome by a sensation, such as inadvertently glancing directly at a bright light, or turning your headphones up to maximum volume by mistake (though do not do any of these things on purpose!). Then imagine that you may have that sensation on a prolonged basis in everyday life, such as any time you visit the supermarket or are in a crowded space. That is what some of us live with.

Autistic sensory issues are not imagined, and they can be deeply unpleasant. The most important thing you can do as an ally is to accept that our experiences are just as real and valid as your own, even though they may differ wildly. Saying that an environment is not really that noisy or bright does not change our experience of it!

We do not choose to be this way, and if we are given the option, we will almost always quietly leave. If a child is struggling, try to look for similarities in situations where they have problems to pinpoint the cause, even if they cannot explain it to you. These issues are part of the autistic life, and, in an ever brighter, louder world, they are increasingly big problems for some of us. Please listen when we say we cannot cope.