Understand the Unseen Battle

Today is World Suicide Prevention Day, Although it’s great to have awareness days we need to be more aware throughout the whole year and yes talking about this subject is challenging, difficult and painful but maybe we have to share more of our stories so that it understood.

For those who have suicidal thoughts we often think we're alone We don't realise according to statistics a third of us at some point will have had suicidal thoughts and it’s probably higher, possibly closer to half if not more of the population.? So maybe half of us know what it feels like to have those suicidal thoughts not necessarily full suicidal intent or attempt - but suicidal thoughts, which means possibly half the population have never experienced it and will never know what it feels like, unable to comprehend it.

Over the years I have worked with many people experiencing suicidal thoughts and I run training to assist others to understand the behaviour and what lies behind the behaviour.

Why do I do this?

Because I understand what it’s like, and I wish to help others understand what suicide is and hopefully assist some in Understanding the Unseen Battle and create a ripple effect.

A vulnerable share - In the depths of despair, I once found myself a couple of times throughout my life standing at the precipice of an unfathomable abyss of choice.

It's a place where the world seems to collapse into darkness, and the pain becomes unbearable, the pending feeling of doom, crushing.

In those moments, suicide can feel like the only way out, the only means to end the pain and torment that wraps around your soul like a suffocating shroud.

However let me share a perspective that I've come to understand through my own journey, a journey of healing and awareness, so that I may heal and assist others in comprehending:

The core need behind suicidal thoughts is not a desire to die, but an overwhelming longing for the pain to stop!

When I was at my lowest point, I wasn't seeking death; I was seeking relief.

The agony that gripped me felt endless, and my heart yearned for solace. In that moment of irrational thought, Suicide seemed rational, logical and peaceful, like the only exit from a room with walls crashing in. It was desperation to escape, not a desire for death, that led me to contemplate and act on it.

To anyone who has never been in that dark place, it's difficult to grasp the intricate battle that rages within the mind of someone who is suicidal. It's a struggle for survival, albeit a distorted one. At the core of it all is a yearning for the relentless emotional anguish to cease, for a moment of respite from the relentless storm that rages within.

Yet, the tragic irony is that in seeking this respite, we often lose sight of the beauty and wonder of life itself. In our desperate pursuit of escape, we risk extinguishing the light that could eventually pierce through the darkness as that light gets harder and harder to see as the abyss looms larger in your mind....

However, know:

There is always hope, even when it feels unimaginable,

There are people who care, even when it seems like no one does

If you're reading this and find yourself in a place of despair, please know that you are not alone. Take that difficult impossible feeling step and reach out to someone you trust, a friend, or a family member, call one of the support lines, look for one of the amazing local support groups or a mental health professional, whatever you do - take the step.

Help is available, and there are people who genuinely want to support you through the pain. Your life is worth fighting for, and there is hope for a brighter tomorrow, this world is so much more beautiful with you in it, find a way to be here...

To those who have never experienced this darkness, let us strive to eradicate the stigma around suicide, for in the gentlest way, you cannot even begin to understand the torment going on for that individual and they are not being selfish, or inconsiderate- we cannot have judgement on something we have never experienced- so please be compassionate and understanding, have empathy not sympathy and have open conversations around suicide, make it ok to not be ok and ok to talk about it.

The battle against suicidal thoughts is complex and deeply personal. It's about choosing to live, even when life feels unbearable.

Together, let us foster an environment where every person's pain is acknowledged, and the core need for relief is met with empathy and support, helping them find the strength to continue their journey for it is a journey, not they have spoken out or getting help so it is all fixed.... it is an ongoing journey with good days and challenging days; however, it is a healing journey and healing is possible, walk it with them, support them on their journey and let them know they are loved and have a purpose in this world.

Prevention happens with full awareness and understanding so we may see the issue. Only when we fully understand something can we put steps in place to prevent.?

Suicide is hidden and not spoken about.. let’s change that!