UNDERSTAND HOW TO STAY MOTIVATED, FOR THE LONG TERM

Last week I had an athlete reach out to me with a problem.

Let's call him "Shawn".

"I am not motivated anymore", Shawn said. "I used to be motivated to prove my dad wrong that I can succeed in my sport, and now all of a sudden that's not motivating me anymore. I don't know what to do."

I can relate. I spent many years driven by not wanting to be like my dad. After his spinal cord injury he became angry, resentful, and pessimistic.

Then, after I acquired my spinal cord injury, for years, all I wanted to do was become the opposite of my dad and be happy, grateful, and optimistic.

But what happens when that motivation falls away? What do you do then?

Internal vs. External Motivation

As I was chatting with Shawn, the first thing that popped into my mind was that leaning on your dad to be your source of motivation is leaving motivation to chance and is an external source.

All it takes is for dad to be a different version of himself that no longer strikes the same trigger within you, and your motivation goes out the window.

What you need to do, I said, was take some time to reflect upon what motivation you can tap into which comes from within, internally.

Consider the model below.

When we have an external focus, our minds are often focused on achieving the wrong outcome such as recognition, praise, approval, or validation. We focus too much on what other people think.

When we have an internal focus, we can still pay attention to what other people think, but your motivation stems from looking internally. You are focused on the character traits and attributes that make up the person you want to become.

I suggested Shawn reflect upon what is something inside of himself that he can focus on such as achieving his personal best, proving to himself he doesn't need external validation, and what consistency would do for him if he just kept going despite how his dad made him feel.

Avoiding Pain vs Gaining Pleasure

It's interesting to think about that not only can we search for motivation internally and externally, but also through the negative and positive.

We can try to run away from something, or we can also be striving to run towards something.

Using my background again as an example, I didn't want to be like my dad, a.k.a. running away, but was also driven to reach the Paralympics, which was running towards my goal.

I was using my dad as motivation externally, while also focusing on everything I could control to become a Paralympian, internally.

Simply put, we are either trying to avoid pain or gain pleasure.

In the case of a negative motivation, we are likely to be striving to avoid punishment or avoid feeling bad.

Both help you move forward but also have a negative connotation attached to it.

On the other side, with positive motivation, we can strive to feel good and gain rewards, but one of those two outcomes still creates a problem.

For example, if you are trying to please others and gain some kind of a reward (ie. compliments, recognition, love, or appreciation), you are still leaving our motivation up to something else outside of yourself.

The key is to find something that motivates you internally that also pulls you towards your goal.

Examples such as focusing on improving your health, becoming someone you are proud of, leading by example, achieving your personal best, demonstrating courage in the face of adversity are all real examples that are internally focused which each of us have the ability to demonstrate every single day.

Putting It Into Action

Today I challenge you to take some time and reflect upon why you are doing what you are doing. Which type of motivation are you focused on?

Are you motivated internally or externally?

• Are you motivated to get your team to agree with your idea you proposed at the last meeting, or are you motivated to contribute towards generating constructive ideas that support your teams initiative?
• Are you motivated to get in shape to make your partner happy, or are you motivated to get in shape because you desire to have vitality?
• Are you motivated to hit your sales targets so that you can brag to your friends about your accomplishment, or are you motivated to hit your sales targets because you care about achieving your personal best in your profession?

Are you motivated by what you don't want or what you do want?

• Are you motivated to be a better leader than your colleague you dislike, or are you trying to motivated a better leader because you care about leading people?
• Are you motivated to prove others wrong, or are you motivated to prove to yourself that you are capable, worth it, and that "It's possible"?
• Are you motivated to avoid risk and feeling bad or embarrassed if your new initiative doesn't take off, or are you motivated by the possibility of it succeeding and you becoming proud of yourself for taking a chance on yourself?

Studies has shown that the most sustainable motivation comes from within, and without research, we also know that it's the one type that is most certain and most predictable.

Just like Shawn is experiencing, you'll find that although external motivation can move us, the best place to focus is internally, and that is how you become a hero in your own story.

I would love to hear from you!

Please leave a comment below on what type of motivation you find most useful for you, and if you can identify when you feel most motivated?

Is it external or internal?

Is it by running away from something or towards something?

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My passion is helping people shift their mindset through my keynotes, workshops, and 1:1 coaching to drive results and embrace change.

If you are looking for a speaker to help your team and employees shift their mindset towards the change they are experiencing or need some help personally, please visit https://kevinrempel.com or send me a direct message to learn more.