Your struggles develop your strengths

You gain strength,courage&confidence by every experience you gained in past. This small article is intended at personal traits of youths who would recognize their core asset bestowed naturally through their nurtures at child hood and improve on those traits which are lacking.

Similarly, Businesses who engage the recruits or employees can understand the traits fully at start up or recruitment phase. Some may have strong traits of leadership scores.

The writer grew with his moderate family background narrates the child hood events and the traits or attributes he inherited and how they helped him or otherwise at his professional career beholding past

I lived through tough upbringing that took every storm came across on my way with courage at later part of life. When I was a kid ,my grandmother used to tell me the family history .She continued that our family was a “Sardar “(aristocrat or commander) reign having acres and acres of agricultural land gifted as ‘Inam‘(Reward) spread at different townships and my great grandfather and later grandfather’s occupation was to collect revenue (‘Sara’) from the properties we were conferred at place to place, riding on the horse during those days. Unpredictably as unluck would have it, all the power and grace disappeared like a hurricane during land ceiling act of 1956, keeping my grandfather busy rest of his life for litigations spending left over money to obtain lost property. His big family of almost a dozen children including my father scattered here and there for survival and livelihood. The only sign of the bygone reign today is our big but old ‘mansion or Wada’ at the place ‘Wai a foot hill of Mahabaleshwar. I learnt that then great Sardar of Nizam dynasty resided at this place when ‘Afzal khan ‘the well-known Sardar came on mission to capture great warrior the king Shivaji residing then at Pratap garh, just few kms away. That’s the historical place we belonged to.

Post the loss of power at this place, family was financially stressed and my father had to move to other small village for living &survival ….

Our educational upbringing: Typical Country side and we grew with struggle to meet both ends meet and education had a least priority task as seen at country or village atmosphere. The educational system had flaws too which was non-conceptual, and non-provocative to challenge or develop children’s mind. ‘A for apple, B for boat used to be our learning with answer in monologue by teachers and system was designed to treat everyone same. We were never asked questions as what A stands for? to come out with diverse answers as A could be for aunt, anger and so on. Unfortunately, my Dad’s contribution to the academics of his children was limited to asking whether the kid passed out and moved to next class. The parenting style was like that and there was no influence on me or my brother or sisters to excel in school or college.

Domestic and social environment: Ordinary family environment, limited discipline, no strict rules at home. Tenderness or approval or verbal affirmation was underplayed. The strength was our people connect, respect in the district ,Taluka and around and so gained muscle power. In order to strengthen the power, my father formed the political party which was difficult to survive at the prevailing environment then .Over a period, he started gaining strength through his unique skill to make the people on his side.

We children hardly had a positive benefit as it normally is through father as an influencing adult in family due to his total preoccupation to society and building and strengthening political standing .In our upbringing, the influence was not from words or coaching but from his personal trait of hard work, fighting spirit, steely & lion resolve, fearlessness and this had the greatest influence on us. It is general opinion that person’s character, sense of responsibility, good and bad habits, ability to cope with difficulties are shaped primarily during his childhood.

 Positive effect of this environment:

·      We grew independently managing our everyday chores, taking responsibility, resolving problems, learning from environment.

·      Fairness to deal with people around, extending support to society was the skill added to us naturally.

·      Being rough and tough at times and soft otherwise was survival norm. “Jiske hath me lathi usiki hogi Bhains” a famous say .

·      Mentally remain strong and use masculine influence learnt through environment around.

·      Taking a risk of any kind and mitigating them has fallen in our lap obviously.

·      Certain family virtues like tenacity, integrity, tremendous perseverance, emotional skills clearly were family given gift.

·      When life knocks you down, look persistently to yourself is lesson learnt and this was unspoken uncoached language.

·      To gain approval of society sweet &soft language of communication was inculcated.

·        Not that everything we copied from our parents but certain skills were eventually got developed to take quick action and decisions . These traits descended from family tree -Grandfather to father -to me and gradually to son. Each family phase these traits were ascended and rest were adopted based circumstances. Realizing our strengths is the smallest thing we can do to make the biggest difference.

My son too possessed the attributes of family given gifts and using those strengths and fitting them with organizational goals. He however added the attribute of bodily remain strong and stout and become sports and this eventually helped him to gain in marathon run.

Research showed that the impact families, societies& environment around have on children and adolescents is significant, influencing children's attributes, habits, and beliefs for their entire lives. Our adult behaviour stems from what we experienced as kids and later few are adopted based the circumstances to give influence on attributes  ….

1.     Parents were not controlling; hence we grew as flexible adult. On other hand, if you experience super control, eventually might become stubborn employee.

2.     Looking at academic’s parental intervention, concern for career normally yield positive impact on the individual.

3.     Upbringing was a struggle faced and hence aggressiveness in action resided. This also lead an open, sharing culture. Hard efforts, mental strength came obviously, shyness or fearfulness was not as life pattern. Whereas If you experience ill-treatment as a child, you are likely to be stressed or depressed.

4.     The startup career time is crucial. Superiors influence may turn the individual either positive or negative since this time is a time of change for individual identities. All the strength of our upbringing was used as a core at profession and working domain and thus it becomes mutual beneficial outcome.

What goes in family tree or childhood, influences how we turn out as adult. Same is true during our working profession. Seasoned HR and CEOs understand, believe and take due care. They choose values that are actionable and resonate with your company’s values that most people can relate to and routinely act upon. Harvard Business School professor Kathleen L. McGrain said “while there is no set up recipe for our achievements or success as well happiness in adulthood has direct bearings to handful of factors from childhood and / or the start-up of your career in working environment”

 To summarize,

a. Understand your core strength given at childhood which need to be strengthened and improved .Reflections on your strength lies in your struggle.

b. Same is true for the organizations, where they need to be vigilant on core strength gained by an employee or individual from their families and utilize their potential fully.

“Strengths does not come from winning.Your struggles develop your strength. So understand what you gained during your struggles which form your core attributes "

Elite viewers or readers can share their views ….