Don't underestimate quiet confidence
Dave Endsor
Client Strategy Director at Tank | Career advice and mentoring at daveendsor.com
I'm passionate about sharing actionable advice and mentoring to help you figure out what you want from your career. I now write regularly about this on my blog, which you can subscribe to here .
I share personal experiences – with lessons from my career – as well as honest thoughts on unanswered questions.
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Think of a confident business leader or manager, who's the first person that springs to mind?
Chances are you're now thinking about someone blessed with natural and very visible confidence.
You might find them on conference panels or stages, or simply leading meetings without an apparent care in the world.
Basically... extroverts!
However, some of you may have gravitated towards people where this isn't as easily visible at first glance: managers with quiet confidence.
Spotting a quietly confident leader (QCs)
To spot this type of person, don't look for grand gestures or actions.
Look for small nuances, such as leading through motivation and encouragement.
Look for leaders who focus on winning and 'failing' together, but acknowledge that failure is a learning experience – not a stick to beat someone with.
(This absolutely applies in marketing where it's very rarely a life-or-death scenario – and if it is, it's way past the help of a marketing team!)
These people are managers who actively listen when you're speaking, don't let their ego get in the way, and offer thought-through considered opinions and feedback – delivered constructively.
On the rare occasion that critical feedback is necessary, it's delivered honestly, calmly, and respectfully – they won't get angry, they'll just seem disappointed!
QCs are also willing to take those creative or strategic risks in the first place and shoulder the responsibility should it go wrong, but dish out the praise when it goes well.
What can you learn from QCs?
There's so much to learn in the above from quietly confident leaders, especially if you see yourself as quiet but unconfident.
This is especially apparent in the more introverted types I talk to.
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Those of you who love to dive into the details, fly under the radar, and get stuff done, but fail to give yourself any credit for your wins .
In particular, those of you who refuse the self-awareness to accept your abilities, in the fear that you will just focus on the negatives.
(Trust me, you're working too hard to get the work done and please everyone, the only negative is the time you're not giving back to yourself!)
QCs can inspire introverts to realise that life isn't as black and white as overtly confident or not – it's a full spectrum of personality!
You can operate safely in the knowledge that confidence doesn't have to be loud, opinionated, or standing on a stage at a conference – it can lead from the back through motivation and encouragement.
Don't underestimate it
The irony of quietly confident leaders is that they never take any credit for themselves, always putting their team first.
And, when given praise – or forced to hear it from people like me who want them to realise their incredible impact – they move the conversation along to someone else.
This is their decision of course... despite my best efforts!
However, this is perhaps the biggest strength of quiet confidence.
They're comfortable in their own skin and don't seek, or need, the spotlight – preferring to use their seniority to shine that light on others.
Their decisions and ability prove their worth, as do the loyalty and motivation they inspire in others.
I've also seen it massively misunderstood by people who see it as a sign of weakness or sensitivity, which is at best hugely misguided, and at worst stupidly ignorant.
The motivational fire may not burn as obviously in quietly confident types but I can promise you – from first-hand experience – it's burning fiercely!
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I share actionable career advice and mentoring on my blog at daveendsor.com . It takes six seconds to subscribe and would mean a great deal to me.
Thanks!
Dave