UNDER ONE SKY

On your mark, get set, go!

Imagine Usain Bolt, running his race like the boss he is, crossing the finishing line ahead of everyone else. Standing with pride on the podium, ready to receive his well-deserved gold medal. And the announcer going “And winner of the gold medal is USAIN BOLT! Forrr diversssitttyyyy and inclussssiiiiooonnn!”

Cut to a meeting in 2019 PC.. uh.. (Pre Covid?)

Imagine her, she has just joined the Board of one of the leading companies in the country. She has climbed up the ranks over the last decade in a male dominated industry. She stands there, ready to receive her well-deserved congratulations. “Welcome! Delighted to have you with us. We were strongly advised by many that you must be invited to join our Board…. for diversity and inclusion.”

Aaaaaah…

Thank God we live in these modern times. Equal opportunity, equal status and our very own: Diversity and Inclusion. Studied, married, procreated, worked, multi tasked - but all this is beside the point. Meaningless if it weren’t for these two gifts that the generous & progressives have given us. 

After years of sweat, blood and tears, when respect is all one wants, these two words are like pebbles in our stilettos. We look like a million bucks, but all we want to really do is kick them off. Stand there, shoulder to shoulder and proud, with a voice whispering inside our heads “Do they really want me here?”

The added cream of feelings on this convoluted cake lends an interesting flavor. The people offering this space to us truly believe they are being generous and progressive. When called out, they are deeply hurt. So now we have to manage our hurt, their outrage and our guilt. The makings of an epic messed-up saga.

So, most of us don’t rock the boat. Just this one meeting, only this conversation, this person, his mood, one (more) comment. Grit your teeth and smile. Keep calm and breathe.

I had this phase of confusion. A bit of doubt. Am I misunderstanding this otherwise intelligent and decent person? Am I over sensitive? Then, the penny dropped. It is truly believed that making space for a woman is a gesture of magnanimity. Large heartedness. Inclusiveness. The feeling is as subtle as a punch in the face. And women respond almost predictably. Either we are apologetic to have taken up space, or are over-grateful that the space was created.  

Result: a tiny part of our mind keeps questioning.. “Did I deserve this?” 

With a misplaced sense of heroism, we endure but don’t flock together. Knowing there are so many more like us, we still fight our lonely battles alone.

To break our toxic relationship with being included, we will have to round up our tribe. Ek Chidiya, Anek Chidiya. One sparrow will have to bring in another sparrow. Maybe not on the same Board room or on the same panel or in the same discussion. But bring in another into the world where there are too many eagles and too few sparrows. However tiny, but along with the eagles, the sparrows must be seen, their cheerful chirps must be heard. Then we can fly free and together under one sky vast enough for all of us.  Where diversity and inclusion need not be mere symbols but true enablers of beautiful co-habitation.  Between birds of different feathers.