Uncoupling Fear and Failure

Hi there ????. Ready to lead? "Acts of Leadership" helps people, (irrespective of title or tenure), expand their leadership range one experiment at a time. Each issue shares a [pro/e]vocative definition of leadership, an idea and an experiment.

What have you failed at?

I have a long list. Brace yourself! Here are a few that most people don’t know about. (We’re all friends here right?)

• In 1994 I started a PhD in Artificial Intelligence. I quit within 6 weeks because the loneliness I felt was all-consuming.?
• In 2000 I was an idiot on my snowboard off-piste and broke my back.
• In 2013 I travelled to Yosemite National Park to pursue a dream aid-climbing The Nose route on El Capitan. Technically and logistically it’s a large undertaking. Day 1 of 5 went badly. My partner and I made the sorts of mistakes that divers call the incident pit. We weren’t ready and I named it. Our friendship was the price of that lesson.
• I accidentally sent an email to the wrong customer and had the IT team switch off the power to mail servers.

If failure is not paying attention to the lessons, then all I can say is I’ve sat through a lot of lessons.

A Definition…

"Leadership is... uncoupling fear and failure."

An Idea…

Failure is a feature of learning

What does learning feel like?

As an executive coach, I meet with clients who are jubilant at the success and discovery of recently completed experiments. The energy is palpable. I see and feel the confidence and inspiration that it generates.

What I love more are the other conversations.

For example, a leader that brought the opposite — a recent experiment that generated more mess than clarity.

They were distracted, frustrated, and deflated. They felt they were taking 1 step forward and 2 steps back.

I know how to partner with people experiencing fear and uncertainty. I saw something different. The optimist in me stepped up.

“That sounds like 3 steps forward. You discovered useful information.”

It’s impossible to fail if you pay attention to the lessons.

Experimentation is inherently tricky. You play with skills and behaviours that are rarely accessed and outside of your normal comfortable patterns. It’s going to feel clunky and awkward. It's the nature of the work.

“Failure is a feature of learning, not a bug” — (Rachel Simmmons)

Imagine a pianist playing with more keys available to them than normal. Playing those new notes requires STRETCH. Muscle memory isn’t embodied yet. Your timing IS going to be off, and you ARE going to hit the wrong note sometimes.

These are lessons. And lessons are rich places of learning.

The real failure is not paying attention to the lessons when they present themselves.

"early on, all our movies suck" — (Ed Catmull, Pixar)

Leadership is helping your people decouple fear and failure.

An Experiment…

?? - What are your best failures? Make a list. What did you choose to learn?

?? - What are the necessary conditions for you to take risks at work? Dive into this conversation with your team.

An invitation to explore:

?? Book: Creativity Inc: overcoming the unseen forces that stand in the way of true inspiration (Ed Catmull)

?? Book: Radical Candor: how to get what you want by saying what you mean (Kim Scott)

?? HBR: Right Kind of Wrong : Interview with Prof. Amy C. Edmondson

Leadership needn't be lonely!

Lead when ready!

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