Unconventional lessons from Fathers!

My early lessons in life mostly revolved around humility and respect for the elderly and my father wanted us to feel a sense of community and belonging when we met families on both my maternal or paternal side. When visiting our ancestral village, my dad would tire me by introducing me to countless villagers, affectionately designating some as my grandmother, grandfather, grand-uncle, uncle, aunt, cousin brother, or cousin sister and this would lead to me having to respectfully touch their feet when greeting them. He would jokingly tell me it's a good exercise, and as you bow down and an elder touches your head, you will receive countless blessings.

With four-year-old me perched on the front of his Yezdi, my father taught and quizzed me on general knowledge, science and mathematical tables upto 20. He instilled in me the belief to never set limitations on myself and also to never let any one tell me what I cannot do. There were times my food plate would be taken away within ten minutes if I pondered or lazily picked on my food, stating that if I were genuinely hungry, like many children in the world, I would value my meal. He ensured we never take anything for granted.

Parent-teacher meetings would leave us sisters feeling horrified as my dad would provide honest feedback. Looking back, he possessed the wisdom to gracefully accept criticism as his own shortcomings, while also discerning when to impart valuable lessons, ensuring the teacher-student dynamic remained unaffected. In Grade 3, I remember neglecting to write my homework in my diary for a week, and my go-to-plan was to copy it everyday after school from a classmate who lived next door. My father prevented me from going to school for the next few days, ensuring that I learned my lesson on responsibility and accountability. Even when everyone in school was using the easy-to-use liquid polish to shine their black shoes , my father prohibited its use stating that the regular shoe polish is better, and the liquid polish could damage the leather. He still approaches a lot of tasks at home providing detailed scientific explanations and avoiding shortcuts unless they resulted in lasting satisfaction or benefit.

He also had a knack for assigning us these "technical tasks" as if we were aspiring engineers in training assuring us that changing a tubelight, or discussing water pump repair with a technician didn't need any professional expertise. We were sent on errands to the bank and post office whenever required. During any negotiation with my sisters, he would point out to me to be compassionate since I am the eldest and I do still have fights about this till date. Even today, when I proudly flaunt pictures of my triumphant market conquests, my mischievous dad never fails to amuse the family WhatsApp group by showcasing his own purchase at an absurdly lower cost. He's the reigning champion determined to keep my ego in check and remind me that there's always a deal out there waiting to outdo mine! He never fails to admit my wins too.

Finally, as I lean over the balcony of my own home, observing children bustling into the school next to my apartment, I realise that my father has never carried my school bag nor did he check where I was seated in class, as is customary for many parents. But I know he has stood by me, shouldering burdens I couldn't bear and fearlessly tackling seemingly impossible problems to find solutions.

Dear Dad, upon reflection, I am sincerely grateful that you took the initiative to challenge me, even if it meant being somewhat bothersome at times. I truly appreciate the fact that you cared enough to be occasionally annoying back then, as it ultimately facilitated my personal growth. Today, I extend to you an immense and heartfelt thank you! These invaluable lessons have shaped me into the person I am today. Happy Birthday to my friend, mentor, confidante, cheerleader, my financial advisor, my lawyer, my encyclopaedia and my everything.

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And a big shout-out to the many fathers for their unique approach to parenting, as it has helped shape resilient individuals, capable of finding humour in life's challenges.

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P.S. With my four-year-old starting school this June, I made a conscious decision of not being an overly helpful mother. I didn't carry his school bag or tell him to grab any particular seat in class. My wish for him is to shed dependency, be confident and rely on himself.