"Unconscious Career Mistakes: A Guide for Women by Dr. Lois P. Frankel"

"Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office: Unconscious Mistakes Women Make That Sabotage Their Careers" is a career guide by Dr. Lois P. Frankel, designed to help women identify and overcome behaviors that prevent them from advancing in their professional lives. Frankel, a seasoned executive coach, and psychologist, provides practical advice, grounded in real-world examples and psychological principles, to help women navigate the workplace effectively. The book is divided into several sections, each addressing different areas where women typically undermine their career advancement.

Introduction

Frankel begins by explaining that many women are socialized from a young age to be "nice girls," which translates into behaviors that are counterproductive in the business world. These behaviors often stem from societal expectations and internalized beliefs about femininity and professionalism. Frankel's goal is to bring these unconscious behaviors to light, allowing women to replace them with more effective strategies.

Section 1: How You Play the Game: In this section, Frankel discusses how women often approach their careers as if they were meritocracies, where hard work alone will lead to success. She points out that understanding the unwritten rules of the corporate game is crucial. Key behaviors to avoid include:

• Holding back on expressing opinions: Women often hesitate to speak up in meetings or offer their viewpoints, fearing they might be wrong or that they’ll be perceived as aggressive.
• Not negotiating: Many women accept initial job offers and raises without negotiation, missing out on higher pay and better benefits.
• Failing to build a strategic network: Women tend to build networks based on friendship rather than strategic alliances that can advance their careers.

Section 2: How You Act: This section focuses on behaviors that women display in the workplace. Frankel emphasizes the importance of self-presentation and the impact of body language and communication style. Key points include:

• Over-apologizing: Women often apologize unnecessarily, which can undermine their authority and confidence.
• Undervaluing personal accomplishments: Women tend to downplay their successes and give credit to others, which can result in their contributions being overlooked.
• Using too many qualifiers: Phrases like “I’m not sure, but…” or “This might be a dumb question…” diminish the speaker’s authority and confidence.

Section 3: How You Think: Frankel explores the internal mindset and beliefs that can sabotage a woman’s career. She addresses the importance of self-confidence and the dangers of self-doubt. Key behaviors include:

• Perfectionism: Striving for perfection can lead to procrastination and burnout, and it often prevents women from taking necessary risks.
• Fear of failure: Avoiding risks to prevent failure can result in missed opportunities for growth and advancement.
• Internalizing criticism: Women often take criticism personally and allow it to affect their self-esteem and performance.

Section 4: How You Brand and Market Yourself: This section covers the importance of personal branding and self-promotion. Frankel emphasizes that women need to take control of their professional image and ensure that their contributions are recognized. Key strategies include:

• Creating a personal brand: Identifying and communicating a clear and consistent professional image helps to distinguish oneself in the workplace.
• Speaking up about achievements: Women should learn to speak confidently about their accomplishments and ensure that they receive appropriate recognition.
• Networking strategically: Building relationships with influential colleagues and mentors who can provide support and opportunities is crucial for career advancement.

Section 5: How You Sound: Frankel discusses the impact of communication style on career success. She provides tips on how women can modify their language to be more assertive and effective. Key points include:

• Avoiding tentative language: Using definitive language rather than tentative or questioning tones helps to convey confidence and authority.
• Speaking with conviction: Practicing clear and assertive communication can improve how women are perceived by colleagues and superiors.
• Being concise: Learning to communicate concisely and to the point is essential in a fast-paced business environment.

Section 6: How You Look: This section deals with the importance of professional appearance and the impact it has on career advancement. Frankel emphasizes that how women present themselves can influence how they are perceived in terms of competence and professionalism. Key points include:

• Dressing appropriately: Wearing attire that is suitable for the workplace and aligns with one’s professional image is important.
• Maintaining good posture: Good posture conveys confidence and authority.
• Practicing good hygiene and grooming: Attention to personal grooming reflects a professional attitude and respect for oneself and others.

Section 7: How You Respond: Frankel addresses how women can handle difficult situations and interactions in the workplace. She provides strategies for managing conflicts, criticism, and negotiations. Key behaviors include:

• Responding to criticism constructively: Learning to accept feedback without becoming defensive and using it for self-improvement.
• Handling conflicts assertively: Addressing conflicts directly and assertively rather than avoiding them.
• Negotiating effectively: Preparing thoroughly for negotiations and advocating confidently for oneself.

Conclusion: Frankel concludes with a call to action, encouraging women to take control of their careers by recognizing and changing behaviors that hold them back. She emphasizes the importance of self-awareness, continuous learning, and the willingness to step out of one’s comfort zone. By doing so, women can break free from the constraints of being "nice girls" and achieve their full potential in the workplace.

Impact and Relevance

"Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office" remains highly relevant as it addresses systemic issues that many women face in the workplace. Frankel’s insights and practical advice provide a roadmap for women to navigate their careers more effectively and achieve leadership positions. The book empowers women to break free from limiting behaviors and stereotypes, fostering a more inclusive and equitable professional environment.

While the book specifically addresses women, its principles are actually gender-agnostic. Throughout my career, I've encountered many individuals who are kind and well-intentioned, aiming to accomplish great things. However, despite their good nature, they often struggle to achieve the success they deserve. The insights and advice offered in this book can benefit anyone looking to overcome behaviors that may be hindering their professional growth.