Uncomfortable But Not Unbearably So

This is the place we find ourselves in when something we deeply believed in is challenged; we are in the possibility that we may have been wrong all this while (sometimes our whole life), but we also know a shift to something different is possible. It’s like learning a new skill – one is in discomfort but not unbearably so.

In the process of observing myself and in curiosity of the question “Who Am I”; sometimes I stumble onto a part of me that I do not like much (an understatement). I call it Roadblock. It happens like this.

I am reflecting, wondering on something and the shadow starts creeping upon everything and grows till I can no longer avoid it. The mirror is right in front of me, I look here and there and everywhere but ahead is where I want to go. A range of emotion surfaces there’s anger, frustration, need to blame, judgment, justifications all the chatter and stories surface. The confusion grows, the Roadblock remains. My beliefs and my assessments of who I am are deeply challenged. Of course, I have the choice to remain who I am and thus where I am. But now I can also see what lies beyond the roadblock and that’s where I want to be.

In the challenge we are in great discomfort yet what makes it bearable are the new possibilities unfolding. Last week one such part of me showed up, just like that. I screamed and yelled, cried my heart out and was in utter despair. And the conversations within made it worse (if that was possible). It was a very uncomfortable place to be in with no way out. I was driving when this wise friend peeped from my rear-view mirror and reminded me “uncomfortable but not unbearable”. In that moment the clouds of darkness dissipated and sun with a million possibilities could shine through. I had forgotten discomfort is a part of the process of changing. It’s like a bitter pill that needs to be taken in before one can get well- uncomfortable but not unbearably so…