Uncomfortable Subject

Some of you when you see this photo will feel great compassion, others disdain. Compassion from those of you who know mental health issues and childhood trauma almost invariably lead to a scene like this, if an individual is not safeguarded. Disdain from those who are "sick and tired of people" who they believe choose to make poor choices like abusing alcohol and drugs, are lazy, and therefore end up on the street.?

Yes, I felt compassion as I walked by.??Quickly I confirmed for another lady looking on with great concern, that he was indeed breathing. We both sighed and continued our way. What's UNCOMFORTABLE is, that I am not proud of my initial response, which was to walk away. Truthfully, I told myself I was glad he was asleep, for his sake, as who knows what his day would bring; shoeless, dirty, no doubt hungry and back on the streets. I walked a few more blocks yet had this sick feeling in my stomach.?

I live downtown and have been walking along Dundas, Richmond, Queens, King and Wellington Streets/Ave. by choice, for more than 8 years. I am sad to say there are countless individuals in dire straits and this problem is equally, if not more prevalent, than before.??My message here is not to point blame or to list all the caring and committed individuals and agencies who work tirelessly to help.?

I am inspired to write because of @charlottedyer who wrote a poignant post yesterday, on the?UNCOMFORTABLE SUBJECT?of; how to interact with someone who is grieving the loss of a child. She provided specific points on what to do or say, under such heartbreaking circumstances.?

This made me think perhaps insight is needed on the?UNCOMFORTABLE SUBJECT?of; how to interact with individuals who live on the streets, beg at your car window, look lifeless on street corners and who are not as fortunate as you.?

I did return to ensure this man was okay. To be honest, at first glance, he did look dead.??As I arrived, I noticed the ambulance pulling up and an older gentleman I recognized from the streets. He had called the ambulance. I blurted out "I should have called myself when I went by this man, thank you for doing that, I can see he is not doing well and I'm glad you helped him. I wish I had taken the time to do so". He said, "I was scared, and he doesn't look good" and put his hands up in the air, as if to say "I tried". Good for him.

You see, showing disdain, yelling obscenities, ignoring, belittling, waving individuals off or rolling your eyes contributes to the problem of hopelessness people feel. You may be surprised to know, that I have had many authentic conversations and interactions along my morning journeys, which have enriched my life.?

For instance, a man on the street the other day, made me feel oddly understood. It was an unexpected interaction that lasted perhaps 15 seconds, but his words touched my heart. I had walked by him swiftly, head down in deep thought, in prayer actually which is a part of my morning routine. He shouted, with some sarcasm I might add, "Woah, you look pissed off".??He said it almost like he was looking to provoke me. The truth is, I was having a bad day, was sad and had tears in my eyes, as I felt burdened by a personal situation that weighed heavily on me. For some reason, I stopped, looked him straight in the eyes and said, "I'm not pissed off, I'm sad" to which he answered, "Ohh, I am so sorry to hear that".??The compassion in his voice, made me believe he understood me and that helped enormously. As I considered his circumstances, I became instantly grateful for my own; a home, food, support, a bed to sleep in, and better days ahead. Perspective is a wonderful thing.

So, please consider the following on how to get COMFORTABLE interacting with those many deem as scary, lowlifes, druggies, ugly, dirty, or even deserving of being destitute.?

*Noone ever wakes up and says, "I hope I become an addict", "I hope I live on the streets", "I hope I'm homeless one day". There is more to this story. Don't judge.?

*Remember, everyone was once a small child in kindergarten with no worries. Everyone was someone's friend, a previous co-worker, neighbour, had a mother, a father, a sibling etc. Somewhere life went off the rails.?

*It's okay if you can't help. Look the person in the eyes and say "Sorry, no, I can't help today" or simply "Hello" or at the very least, nod hello. They are very, very unlikely to rush at your car or jump you in daylight. Use discernment.

*When you go to the grocery store ask someone looking for money, if there is anything you can buy for them. They never say steak! Yogurt, fruit, a sandwich, a piece of pizza, or drink work. Or decide what you can afford and say, "Can I get you a drink?"

*Make up small paper bags and keep them in your car to give out at stop lights with a granola bar, a juice box and a rice crispy square or brownie. Cosco is the perfect place to help with this. Use your common sense and imagine what you would appreciate. Give that.?

*Go to the Dollar Store and buy a few hats, gloves, and mittens. Put them in zip lock bags and keep them in your car to give out at lights or when you see someone in need. Trust me, I give out tons every year and they are appreciated. Just ask "Do you need a hat?" Simple.

*Pray that individuals on the streets will be protected from the elements or others looking to do harm and that they have a safe place to sleep, are warm and are not subject to more trauma. Praying is doing something, both for you and for them.