The uncomfortable Revelation: Why you're not receiving Feedback from your Boss (and it's not what you think)

"Try to seek out and appreciate the brutal truths about yourself to learn and grow." - Sheryl Sandberg

If I received a cent every time participants in a leadership training told me they don’t get feedback from their bosses! Ever feel like feedback from your boss is as elusive as water in the desert? How did they reach this level without mastering such a critical skill? Did they not attend this training? Or, if they did, why aren’t they the role models I expect to see? If they don't give feedback, why should I?

To be clear, I fully understand this frustration. It’s more commonplace than any communications trainer would hope for. The perplexing thing about this is that when I ask leaders if they believe giving feedback is important, they would wholeheartedly agree.

So why is?feedback not happening when it should??Here are 5 typical reasons why bosses don't give feedback:

???Lack of Time:?Many bosses are swamped with their own responsibilities, meetings, and deadlines. Giving thoughtful feedback can be time-consuming, and often, it falls lower on the priority list amidst more urgent tasks.

???Discomfort with Confrontation:?Some bosses may avoid giving feedback because they're uncomfortable with the potential confrontation or negative reactions it might provoke. They might fear damaging a good working relationship or demotivating an employee.

???Assumption of Understanding:?Bosses sometimes assume that employees understand their performance levels without explicit feedback. They might think that no news is good news, believing that employees will continue to perform well without regular check-ins.

???Lack of Training:?Not all managers are trained in giving effective feedback. Some might not know how to provide constructive criticism that is helpful rather than hurtful, or they might simply lack the communication skills required to deliver feedback effectively.

???Cultural Norms:?In some organizational cultures, there is less emphasis on regular feedback. The culture might encourage independence in problem-solving and performance improvements, or there might be a norm where only annual or semi-annual reviews are common.

Now let me tell you this:?it doesn't really matter what the reason is!?That’s right. I don’t want you to waste time and energy trying to (psycho)analyze your boss and understand their motivations. What I’m suggesting is that there are myriad reasons that have nothing to do with you. It’s nothing personal. Let’s flip the script.?

It’s time to lift the veil:?the reason why you’re not receiving feedback is because you’re not asking for it!

And yes, you have every right to be angry with me for telling you this. How dare I. But then again, I assume you’re here because you want to learn how to communicate with impact, right? ;-) ?

How to Flip the Script

???Be Specific:?Generic questions get generic answers. Ask for feedback on particular projects or skills, like "How effective was my handling of the XYZ presentation?"

??Schedule It:?Don’t wait for annual reviews. Set regular check-ins. This makes asking for and getting feedback part of your routine, not a surprise pop quiz.

???Brace for the Truth:?Feedback isn’t always a pat on the back; sometimes it’s a push forward. Be ready for it. That’s how growth happens.

???Act on It:?Show that you take feedback seriously. Discuss how you’ve used it, and let your boss see the changes.

Call to action

The secret's out, and how you use it will transform your professional path. Waiting passively for feedback is like waiting for a train that won’t stop at your station. It's time to flag it down yourself.

Test it and enjoy the journey!

Chris

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