Uncomfortable Conversations

It’s honestly been hard to know how to respond to the things that have been said and done in recent days but the one thing I didn’t want to do was say nothing at all. Racism is alive and well even here in the UK though so many people struggle to believe that.There’s a sense that its not as bad here as it is in the US. I have always maintained that in many ways the issue is worse in the UK because its much more covert. A lot of the time it's not necessarily words spoken but rather an undercurrent that runs quietly beneath conversations as a subtext. I was born and raised in the UK. For the most part London has been home but I've experienced racism my entire life both overtly and covertly. From the well meaning teacher who told me to consider doing something else (when I told her I planned to be a lawyer) because 'someone like me' might find it hard to achieve that (despite being an A grade student), to being asked in countless conversations about my 'very Nigerian' sounding maiden name when I applied for training contracts to being regularly mistaken for the PA or admin assistant in client meetings even after qualifying as a city lawyer. 

Back when I was a trainee solicitor, diversity & inclusion wasn’t even a thing people talked about. My sense of otherness and of being the odd one out was always there - the same undercurrent. Much has changed and I applaud so many law firms including many I’ve worked within, for the changes that have taken place and continue to take place but be in no doubt, racism is alive and well even right here on my doorstep. Just 6 months ago I considered selling my home because after years of living in my area, I decided I’d had enough of going back and forth with one of my neighbours who is without doubt racist. He is an elderly white man who has lived in the area for most of his life. He appears seemingly quiet at first glance but over the years he has made it clear initially through actions and more recently through words that he takes issue with ‘people like me’ moving into his neighbourhood. He has made it clear to my children that he considers them a nuisance because of the colour of our skin. I have put up with and navigated the behaviour for years because I didn’t want my choice of where to live to be dictated by a bigot and because I have always been taught to simply rise above this type of behaviour. There’s so much I could say but I won’t.

The point of this post is really just to say that for those who are in doubt, issues of racism happen everyday. Those I've worked with may never have really heard me talk about my experiences as a black professional woman living in the UK. That's because part of my British heritage means I’m conditioned to 'keep calm and carry on’. But that notwithstanding these things do and are happening. I choose not to be defined by these experiences but given all that has transpired in recent days I want anyone who takes the time to read this post and watch the video to understand that like countless others I have experienced the reality of being looked at differently simply because of the melanin in my skin. It is uncomfortable to have these conversations and possibly had recent events not transpired I’d probably never post something like this on social media but I also realise that the current mood means that I should lend my voice and speak up. Uncomfortable conversations are necessary for change to come. There aren’t any easy answers but it starts with understanding and accepting that these issues are real. Its time for change. #standwithme #blacklivesmatter #bethechange