Uncertainty is Human - but Not a Place You Want to Stay

I talk to accomplished professionals every day under the comfort of confidentiality. They’re insanely Smart. Accomplished. Recognized.

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They open up and tell me their dreams and what matters most. How they want to make a bigger impact and influence positive change.

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When I listen deeply for the words they often don’t say…

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Uncertainty lurks beneath the surface.

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Uncertainty of what to do next. Of what to do when they're laid off. Of whether they are good enough. Or how to be fulfilled at work and whether this is even possible.

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And for those who do know what they want and where they want to go, there’s uncertainty on how to get there.

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We also have a world today where uncertainty has become the norm. As of this posting, there have been over 32,000 tech layoffs in the last month. For those who have lost jobs, there’s uncertainty on how they’ll find security. And for those who still have jobs, there’s uncertainty how long they’ll last.

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Personally, and professionally, the feelings are visceral and real.

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There’s a cost to living in a state of uncertainty. It pushes you into the quicksand of despair. It chokes your growth. It impacts your health and well-being. It leads to a sense of regret for what could have been.

It's not a place you want to stay.

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When we're uncertain, sometimes we justify. In the grand scope, things are good enough. “Some don’t have a job. I do. I need to count my blessings.” “I just need to get through this month, this year, this decade”

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We find ourselves surviving, not thriving.

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But that feeling of uncertainty never goes away.

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So what do we do?

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For me, this has been a primary reflection of late. Seeing the news about yet another layoff and hearing accomplished leaders talk about losing their jobs is tough, but it has given me the opportunity to pay attention to what they struggle with most.

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Uncertainty tops the list.

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You may not be able to control what the outer world throws at you, but you can learn the skills to control your inner world.

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Feeling uncertain is normal. We’re human. But staying in uncertainty is a choice.

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And so, in this post, I’m sharing my top five strategies to overcome uncertainty.

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1.???Take time to create a clear vision of what success looks like.?

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Life and work are busy. There are always issues du jour that hijack our attention. It's quite easy for us to rattle off what we don’t like or don’t want but when asked the question, “what does success look like?” we're silent. This one is important and the #1 problem when it comes to uncertainty. Your brain needs a precise vision, a program, of what to move toward. Without this, there will always be a gap between where you are and where you want to be. And within gap breeds uncertainty.

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Think of it this way…if you live in Seattle and want to get out of the rainy gloom, you first need to choose a destination. Just saying, “it’s gray here and I hate it,” will do nothing. Decide where you’ll road trip. Pick the destination and start immersing yourself in what it would be like to be there or go there.

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More clarity = less uncertainty.?

As the late, great Stephen R. Covey said, “you must begin with the end in mind.”

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2.???Learn the skills to overcome doubt.

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Let's address a fact: We humans do not like uncertainty. So, when we're in a situation, event or relationship where there are unknowns, what do we do?

We make up a story.

The colleague who stands you up for a meeting..."What a loser" or "Am I important enough?"

The team you inherited is completely disengaged. "Do these people have a clue?" or "This is going to be painful"

The pitch you prepared and presented gets zero input from the exec team. "What did I do wrong?" or "These people have their heads in the clouds"

I could keep going, but you get the idea.

Our brains, in the absence of truth, fact or data, will connect the dots. We will make up a story to create at least some kind of (perceived) certainty. If we make up a worst-case scenario story, at least we can mentally prepare for it. This process happens so quickly, we don't even realize we're doing it.

The problem with these stories is that they're usually wrong.

Here's the strategy to minimize uncertainty: a) Press pause, and b) Flip the script.

Be forewarned, this can feel very awkward in the beginning. Suspending the story creates a void which is odd for us. But it's an incredibly powerful strategy. If you can build the skill to edit that story to something that is more empowering to you - or the other person - you'll squash uncertainty and build confidence.

As my favorite coach, Ted Lasso , said, “Be curious, not judgmental.”

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3.???Notice (and swap) your mental and emotional patterns ?

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When I learned the mind-blowing concept that thoughts and emotions are simply patterns thinking or feelings and that they do not define you, it was a game changer.

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Here’s a challenge: For three days, write down the diminishing phrases your brain has on repeat.

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If you find yourself thinking “you can’t do this,” “what were you thinking,” “you aren’t skilled enough,” “you’re nothing next to so-and-so”…know this:

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Worry, uncertainty, doubt, guilt, and even stress are simply patterns of thought or emotion.

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Thoughts and emotions, just like behaviors or habits, are repeated patterns. And the brain loves to automate patterns. Why?

Because it consumes less energy.

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The skill here is to a) notice what you’re saying, b) be discerning about whether that language is helping or hindering, and c) make a new statement or mantra to replace the unhelpful patterns.

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My emotions used to completely hijack me. For a period of almost three years, I was plagued with doubt and uncertainty. I never knew that I had a choice in this matter, much less could change it.

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Realizing that doubt, for example, was just a thought pattern, not a way of being, was absolutely freeing. It releases you from an inner prison of uncertainty.

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Invite grace. Allow yourself to be a beginner.

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4.???Quit comparing.

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Comparison is to certainty like kryptonite is to Superman: Utterly draining. Comparing yourself to others creates stress, uncertainty (am I doing it right?) and momentary amnesia. Amnesia of what is unique, great, awesome about you.

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It diminishes your confidence, erodes your self-esteem and feeds uncertainty. Social media has not made this any easier for us. If you catch yourself in the comparison rat race, recognize that it is rooted in a story you're telling yourself (see #2 above).

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What if Superman wanted to be just like Spiderman? Thankfully for humankind, he did not. Comparison does not serve us.

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You be you.

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5.???Create, leverage, borrow or find a plan.

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Some people are crystal clear on where they’re going. And they have a rock-solid mental state. But what paralyzes them is not knowing how to get there.

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Thank God for GPS. We plug in the address of the destination and that powerful app gives us the step-by-step directions to get there. What did we do before Google Maps??

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The problem for some is that they don’t have a superpower in creating the plan to get there. Their brain isn’t innately wired to connect the dots.

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But guess what…that’s okay. You don’t have to be an expert to take action.

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There’s a prerequisite here: You must embrace the question, “What can I do?” And if you find yourself falling back into the victimhood of uncertainty, get out.

Taking back your power is the first step in overcoming uncertainty.

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Everything needs a plan, a system, a process to be successful. Overcoming uncertainty is no different.

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Think about your dominate hand. Writing with your dominant hand is a no-brainer. If you had to write with your non-dominant had, it would be clunky and awkward in the beginning. But you could still do it.

If you find yourself stuck here, ask someone. Find a book with great instruction. Sign up for an online program. Be okay knowing that building a plan isn’t your thing, but don’t give up. There are others who have a superpower in this area. Seek them out. Invest in yourself.

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Start somewhere and adopt a “test and learn” approach.

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Don't worry about doing the “right” thing. Just start. Once you have a plan, just move and take steps in the direction of what you want. As you learn, uncertainty will wither. And the confidence will come.

I like to think of coaching as helping people super-size their confidence and abilities. Overcoming uncertainty is a part of that journey and a skill that can be learned. If even one of these gems clicked for you, you have a responsibility.

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Remember that feeling uncertain is human.

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Living in uncertainty as a state-of-being is a choice. But it's not a place you want to stay.

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You’ve heard the adage that the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. The #1 secret to career success and fulfillment isn't fame, money, or freedom. It’s progress. If you are progressing with intentional steps toward your professional goals and vision, success will come.

Julie Schaller is a professional career growth coach and president of Career Growth Coaching. Her mission is to empower leaders to make a positive impact in their career. Julie helps her clients gain clarity of their ideal role, position themselves for success and increase confidence in the process. You can learn more by contacting Julie at?[email protected] or scheduling a time to learn more HERE