The Unbreakable Man: Reflections on Career, Family, and the Workplace

Balancing Work, Health, and Family for a Fulfilling Life

Why Men’s Health is No Laughing Matter—But Maybe It Should Be

Tuesday 19th November 2024 was the International Men’s Day, and this year’s theme, Men’s Health Champions, is both a wake-up call and a punchline. The theme highlights the importance of men taking charge of their health—physically, mentally, and emotionally—in a world that often discourages vulnerability and self-care. Men’s health is frequently overlooked, leading to serious consequences that could be avoided with awareness and proactive care. Wake-up call? Because men’s physical, mental, and emotional health often takes a backseat to careers, family responsibilities, and the toxic treadmill of workplace competition. Punchline? Because if you tell a group of men to prioritize their health, most will say, “Sure, right after I finish this report, close that deal, or hit my fifth coffee of the day.”

But here’s the truth: Every man is one unchecked email away from burnout and one ignored check-up away from a health crisis. And yet, we still buy into the myth of invincibility—until the surgeon’s knife reminds us otherwise.

I missed a workplace talk on this very theme on Tuesday because I was busy at a hospital, getting a wound dressed after surgery. This experience made me realize firsthand how easy it is to neglect our health until we have no choice but to confront it. It was a stark reminder that prioritizing well-being isn’t optional; it’s necessary for us to keep going. Irony, you win again. So, as a small tribute to my fellow brothers in arms, here’s a reflection on men, careers, family, and survival in this brutal, backstabbing, publish-or-perish world.

A Brief History of International Men’s Day

International Men’s Day started in 1992 to address men’s issues, from health disparities to gender roles, and to celebrate the positive male contributions to society. Since its inception, it has grown to be celebrated in over 80 countries worldwide, highlighting key issues such as mental health, workplace stress, and the importance of positive role models. While it doesn’t quite have the fanfare of Mother’s Day or International Women’s Day, it’s a moment to ask hard questions: Are men thriving, or just surviving? And if it’s the latter, why?

The Reality: A Day in the Life of the Modern Man

Many men wear their job titles like armor, wielding their accomplishments as shields in the endless battle for respect and relevance. But let’s be real: beneath that suit, lab coat, or hard hat is someone who’s exhausted, emotionally constipated, and secretly Googling “how to handle workplace anxiety or looking for the next port of call.”

Statistically:

• Men are 3.5 times more likely than women to die by suicide (World Health Organization). This often stems from suppressed emotions and untreated mental health issues. Men are conditioned to bottle things up, leading to the dangerous belief that seeking help is a weakness.
• 76% of global workplace fatalities are men (International Labour Organization). Men dominate high-risk professions—construction, mining, heavy machinery—but the risks aren't just physical; the emotional toll is significant too.
• A Harvard Business Review study found that 60% of men report higher rates of workplace stress but are 40% less likely to seek professional help compared to women.

The workplace, especially in competitive fields like academia, business, or grantsmanship, often becomes a jungle where only the fittest—or those with the sharpest elbows—survive. I remember a colleague who spent countless weekends at the lab, hoping to publish ahead of everyone else, only to face burnout and isolation. This relentless competition can leave even the most talented individuals exhausted and disconnected from what truly matters. The problem is, this mindset is literally killing us.

The 7 Commandments for Men’s Survival in Work and Life

If there’s one thing men love, it’s a list. So, here are The 7 Commandments for Surviving the Modern World—sprinkled with humor, heavy on insight, and grounded in science.

1. Thou Shalt Not Worship Thy Career

Your job title is not your identity. You are more than a “Senior Manager,” “Professor,” or “CEO.” Remember, those titles will one day be replaced by a single word: Retired/Emeritus. Make sure you’re building a life—not just a LinkedIn profile.

Example: Consider Dave, the former “Vice President of Whatever.” When Dave retired, he realized his entire social network was built around people who wanted something from him. Once he no longer had that title, the calls stopped. Dave now volunteers in the community as well as get those rare consultancies and finally understands what it means to be valued beyond a title.

Statistic: According to the Grant Study, a 75-year longitudinal study on happiness, close relationships—not career achievements—are the biggest predictor of life satisfaction and longevity. It’s not the corner office but the company you keep that matters.

2. Thou Shalt Honor Thy Body

You wouldn’t let your car go 100,000 miles without an oil change. Yet, many men neglect annual check-ups, exercise, and nutrition. Reminder: A six-pack of beer or bottles of whatever the poison you take doesn’t count as core strength.

Example: The average man spends over 4 hours per week maintaining his car, but less than 30 minutes a month on preventative health care (Men's Health Network). Prioritize your health. You can’t climb the corporate ladder if your knees are about to give out.

Statistic: 33% of men aged 20 and above are classified as obese (CDC). Regular physical activity reduces not only your waistline but also the risk of chronic diseases like heart disease—the leading cause of death for men.

3. Thou Shalt Create Safe Spaces

Real men talk. Find a group of friends, colleagues, or a professional counselor where you can unpack the pressures you face. Vulnerability isn’t weakness; it’s emotional detox. I have been asked by a boss, why did you not talk about this or push back?

Example: Prince Harry openly speaking about his mental health struggles has inspired millions of men to seek help. Creating a safe space is crucial—whether it’s a close friend or a mental health professional, opening up can make all the difference.

Statistic: Men who talk about their feelings are 60% less likely to suffer from depression (National Institute of Mental Health). Vulnerability saves lives—plain and simple.

4. Thou Shalt Call Out the Rat Race

Backstabbing and unhealthy competition destroy more than careers; they corrode your soul. Focus on collaboration over competition. Ask yourself: If I win this grant or promotion but lose my peace of mind, is it worth it?

Example: In academia, the "publish or perish" culture has led to 37% of researchers admitting to unethical practices just to get ahead (Nature). Wouldn’t it be more rewarding to celebrate each other’s successes rather than undermining them? After destroying others career with malice how do you actually sleep at night?

Tidbit: Collaboration is a win-win. In Silicon Valley, many of the greatest innovations have come from teams that chose to collaborate rather than compete. Remember, we’re all in this together.

5. Thou Shalt Set Boundaries

Say it with me: No. Not every email requires an immediate response. Not every weekend is for working. Behavioral science shows that creating clear boundaries boosts productivity and prevents burnout.

Example: Jeff Bezos famously said, “I try and get eight hours of sleep every night. Sleep is essential for making high-quality decisions.” Setting boundaries, like not answering work emails past 8 PM, allows you to show up rested and effective.

Statistic: Burnout affects 43% of full-time workers (Gallup). Men who set firm work boundaries report 30% higher job satisfaction and 50% lower stress levels (American Psychological Association).

6. Thou Shalt Keep the Sabbath (Or Its Equivalent)

Rest is not a luxury; it’s a biological necessity. Prioritize downtime. Whether it’s a Sunday afternoon nap or a hobby that brings you joy, make space for rejuvenation.

Example: In Japan, where overwork is a societal issue (a phenomenon called "Karoshi" or "death by overwork"), the government had to introduce mandatory leave policies. Rest should be taken seriously—not just as a means to be productive, but as an end in itself.

Statistic: Research from the National Sleep Foundation shows that men who sleep 7-9 hours per night are 60% less likely to experience depression and anxiety. Rested men are happier men.

7. Thou Shalt Build Relationships, Not Just Resumes

At your retirement party, no one will care about your h-index, quarterly reports, or the grants you brought in. What they’ll remember is the time you invested in your family, friends, and colleagues. I have gone to many funerals of very accomplished individuals and there we talk about the lives they touched not what they owned, papers they wrote, grants won or businesses they managed. Don’t wait for a crisis to remind you of what truly matters.

Example: Stephen Covey wrote about a highly successful man who, on his deathbed, said he wished he had spent more time with his family. No one’s gravestone ever reads: “He answered all his emails before 9 AM.”

Statistic: According to the Harvard Study of Adult Development, men with strong relationships are 50% more likely to live longer, healthier lives. Human connection is the antidote to stress, burnout, and despair.

Call to Action: Take the First Step Today

Let’s face it, gentlemen: We have a long way to go in addressing the stigma around men’s health and emotional well-being. But change starts with small, intentional steps. Book that doctor’s appointment. Cancel that unnecessary late-night meeting. Reach out to a friend who might be struggling.

Remember: We are not machines. We’re men. And that’s a beautiful, messy, exhausting, rewarding thing to be.

What are your thoughts? Share your experiences in the comments. Let’s keep the conversation going—because every man deserves a life that’s more than just survival.