The Unbearable Rudeness of Being

I know we use LinkedIn as the prime medium to boost our professional image, trumpet our accolades, and of course, share opinions and industry news. So before you read this, please note: the views and opinions expressed here are purely based on my experience only.

Recently, a series of in-house events got me thinking about an occupational hazard that plagues most entrepreneurs / services. It’s how customers treat people who work in services. And it’s probably nothing new. A social media post that I read recently, echoed my aspirations. A woman, on discovering her 4.3 rating on Uber, was overheard saying, “I can’t pretend it hasn’t made me re-examine everything about who I am as a person.” Sometimes, I wish we could rate the people we meet professionally as well; if only they wanted well-intentioned perspective.

Last week, there was much outrage and debate on the circular for Indian tourists from the Arc-en-Ciel hotel, a playground for the rich and famous in Gstaad. Industrialist Harsh Goenka was the first to slam the “racist note”, later acknowledging the “realisation dawned that we, as tourists are loud, rude, not culturally sensitive”. I can’t help but think that this extends way beyond our conditioning as just tourists. It’s how we perceive, engage and respect other individuals. We can express over disappointment on Twitter over the price of bananas (I wonder if the actor took this up with the hotel before it went viral), and just this morning, another video emerged. It was an Indian family arguing with the staff of a hotel in Bali, who decided to confront them once they discovered that most of the room’s accessories and electronics were stolen. And it wasn’t pretty. 

In the six years that I have spent at Sirf Coffee, I’ve had the good fortune to interact with some amazing, dynamic, well-travelled individuals who also happen to be unbelievably cool people. In fact, there's so much to learn from them. It’s been humbling, and feels like a true privilege to have 'insider access' to the best. And then every now and then, you will meet individuals who are unkind, ill-tempered, and self-conceited. After all, as a service, one doesn’t dare challenge obnoxious entitlement, because well, the consumer is supposed to be ‘king’. All the time.

While I can probably write a book on the diversity of experiences we've had, in several cases, people pause, reflect and even apologise for boorish behaviour. Here's the problem: Throughout all of it, one is expected to stay zen. ‘Don’t take it personally’, you tell yourself. (This is the biggest lie for most entrepreneurs. We’ve been through hell to build successful companies / babies, why will we not?) They say equanimity is critical to ricochet the hard impact of rudeness, and perhaps even break the cycle. The very definition of equanimity is “mental calmness, composure and evenness of temper, especially in a difficult situation.”

At what juncture do services get to disengage from an unruly customer? More importantly, as a service that works with love, one of the most intimate, life-changing aspects of our lives, their current relationship status is almost a shining mirror to their inherent personality. If you’re a nasty person, why would someone want to spend their time (out of free will) with you?

I always wonder, at what point, do you take a stand and disconnect with a professional connection that is not worth the effort. Energy, and most importantly, time, are the most valuable resources expended in our modern age and busy schedules. Perhaps the need of the hour, is to look inwards. The first step? Start treating others the way you want them to treat you.