Unanswered Prayers: Seeing Life thru the Lens of Our Rearview Mirror

I recently heard a oldie but goodie song by Garth Brooks, which speaks a lot of truth. According to Brooks, the song is based on a true story that happened to his wife, Sandy, and he in October 1989 when he met "an old flame". Says Brooks, 'Unanswered Prayers' was a big part of my heart that went out on that record." The song was released on October 12, 1990, and hit No. 1 on Billboard's Hot Country Songs chart in 1991, as the second single from his album, No Fences. Here is a link to the song on YouTube and the lyrics: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n9fav3FCF9c

[Verse 1] Just the other night, at a hometown football game My wife and I ran into my old high school flame As I introduced them, the past came back to me And I couldn't help but think of the way things used to be

[Verse 2] She was the one that I'd wanted for all times And each night I'd spend prayin' that God would make her mine And if he'd only grant me this wish I wished back then I'd never ask for anything again

[Chorus] Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers Remember when you're talkin' to the man upstairs And just because he doesn't answer doesn't mean he don't care Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers

[Verse 3] She wasn't quite the angel I remembered in my dreams. And I could tell that time had changed me, in her eyes too it seemed We tried to talk about the old days, but there wasn't much we could recall I guess the Lord knows what he's doin', after all

(Bridge) And as she walked away, well, I looked at my wife And then and there I thanked the good Lord, for the gifts in my life [Chorus]

This song reminded me of a another song - a wonderful hymn we use to sing in church when I was younger, written by Johnson Oatman, Jr in 1897 - the focus of which is to take a more "review mirror" perspective on the events and circumstances of our life, as goes like this:

Count Your Blessings (Verse 1) When upon life's billows you are tempest tossed When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost Count your many blessings name them one by one And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done

(Chorus) Count your blessings, name them one by one Count your blessings, see what God hath done Count your blessings, name them one by one And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done

(Verse 2) Are you ever burdened with a load of care? Does the cross seem heavy you are called to bear? Count your many blessings, every doubt will fly And you will be singing as the days go by (Chorus)

(Verse 3) When you look at others with their lands and gold Think that Christ has promised you His wealth untold Count your many blessings, money cannot buy Your reward in heaven, nor your Lord on high (Chorus)

(Verse 4) So amid the conflict, whether great or small Do not be discouraged, God is over all Count your many blessings, angels will attend Help and comfort give you to your journey's end (Chorus)

This article, written by Curt Thompson MD, titled "Seeing Through a (Rearview) Mirror Dimly", says it well...

Driving requires that I look forward through the windshield. This is generally a good idea. Were I to use my rearview mirror as a way to navigate my way forward, my traveling would be made more complicated. But the use of the rearview mirror is not without its merit. Moreover, by comparison, I typically use the rearview mirror as a means of increasing my sense of safety, whether guiding my parallel parking, judging what obstructions may be behind me when moving in reverse, or to be aware of traffic that might be overtaking me from the rear that will alter my speed or direction. Not that we never look through the windshield toward a view for safety, but we are far more likely to use our rearview mirror primarily to enhance safety along with helping us in our movements. Not to mention that we have all had moments in which, upon seeing something through our windshield that goes by us too quickly for us to make out, we will often use our rearview mirror as a last attempt to see what it was that we missed. What does all this have to do with the function of the mind?

It is a common experience that we come to understand the events of our lives more clearly after having traversed them rather than before. I wish life were different. I wish I could peer into the future, aware of it coming to me clearly through my windshield, making the proper maneuvers to avoid all potholes, oncoming traffic, and slow down and speed up accordingly while avoiding any head on collisions. In so doing, I would not worry because I would be able to control in advance for all those poor choices I could conceivably make, ensuring favorable outcomes. As it stands, the windshield of my life seems more often than not to be far less transparent that I would like. Unable to see through its opacity, I can consume a great deal of energy imagining any number of possible futures—many of them in which I don’t seem to include Jesus—predicting outcomes, working hard to do the right thing (worried that I won’t), trying to figure out what it will all mean in advance, and thereby enabling myself to know how to proceed. But despite all my effort in trying to look ahead, focusing my worried attention on my anticipated future, trying to read the pitch ahead of the curve, it still turns out that I am much more likely to make sense of my life when I look, not through the windshield, but rather in the rearview mirror.

The bible is replete with stories in which God told his people to trust him despite their not having a crystal ball, only for them to so worry about their future, tacitly suspecting God would be a no-show or late at best, that they either took action into their own anxious hands when instructed to wait or took no action at all when encouraged to move, creating more trouble than would have been necessary. It is only in the aftermath of the events through which they pass that they see clearly. And here is where what we are learning about the brain can be helpful.

We make meaning from events—“rational sense”—after first encountering sensations, images, and feelings as they come to us. The logical, linear thinking part of our life routinely follows what initially comes to us in non-logical form. Generally, we sense things first. We make sense of those things second. In other words, we “sense” things by looking through the windshield. We construct meaning from those very sensations nanoseconds to years later by looking in the rearview mirror. Although there are some exceptions, most of us do not experience “knowing” the future with the same degree of confidence that we do the past. The future is yet to come. I cannot be certain of what it will bring. But the past? I’m certain of it. I am certain that I had oatmeal for breakfast. That my father told me yesterday that he is proud of me. That I did not get into the school I wanted to. That I lost my job. That Jesus has healed my deep sense of shame that I carried about my sexual past. That I have suffered a stroke. We’re certain of what we see in the rearview mirror. Though I long to know my future—and expend great energy imagining it—it is mostly my past that I know and from which I learn.

Which brings us to an interesting place regarding the brain. Its inherent tendency is to function as one big anticipation machine, with us constantly working to predict—and control—the future. Part of our maturation and growth is about training our mind to be content with allowing that what comes to us from the future will be something that God will enable us to comprehend as we see it in our rearview mirror, as we reflect on what was just a moment ago our future that is now our near to distant past. And in so doing, we see the fabric that God is weaving into a beautiful tapestry that one glance ago we did not easily understand as it occupied our yet-to-be life. And if we are content in waiting to see the clarity of our lives in the rearview mirror, we will waste far less energy worrying about things we cannot see in the future.

St. Paul is equally helpful here. In 1 Corinthians 13 he reminds us that we now see “through a mirror dimly.” There are various English words and phrases that have been used to translate his meaning, but all are consistent in that the glass, or mirror that helps us see is “dim,” or “dark.” The mirror, for all of its helpfulness, is not perfect. And neither is our vision of our life experience. We need help. And that help comes directly in the relationships in which we are deeply known, those people with whom we are deeply connected and who create a flexible, resilient net that holds us even when we can’t see with absolute clarity.

In the end, isn’t it good to know that the road we see trailing out behind us is the story that God is weaving, using co-authors in our lives to assist in the polishing of our dimly mirrored minds. All in the service of inviting us to release our fierce and relentless pursuit of the future, choosing instead to live in this present moment where God is meeting us and inviting us to simply see all that he is doing, even if we need to catch what we think we might miss by looking in that mirror that is suspended in the middle of our windshield

Looking through the often, more clear lens of our review mirror, I do well to ask, "How many "blessings" in life are result of God's "unanswered prayers"?

Two examples from the Bible come to mind. As you read these, ask yourself: 1. "How might the trajectory of the Apostle Paul and Jesus' life have changed if their prayers here were 'answered'?" and, 2. "How might this have changed the course of human history, as would impact you, me and the entire human race?"

2 Corinthians 12:6-10 - Paul’s Vision and His Thorn ...in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Matthew 26:36-46 - Jesus and His Disciples in Gethsemane Then Jesus went with his disciples to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to them, “Sit here while I go over there and pray.”  He took Peter and the two sons of Zebedee along with him, and he began to be sorrowful and troubled. Then he said to them, “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.”  Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.” Then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping. “Couldn’t you men keep watch with me for one hour?” he asked Peter. “Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.” He went away a second time and prayed, “My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done.” When he came back, he again found them sleeping, because their eyes were heavy. So he left them and went away once more and prayed the third time, saying the same thing. Then he returned to the disciples and said to them, “Are you still sleeping and resting? Look, the hour has come, and the Son of Man is delivered into the hands of sinners. Rise! Let us go! Here comes my betrayer!”

I'll end with another article I came across that provides great insight and perspective to live and pray by....

Be Careful What You Pray For? From Christianity.com by Mike Fabarez

Be careful what you repeatedly ask of God. You can’t always judge a prayer by its answer. While it’s true that many times in his kindness God withholds granting what we foolishly or selfishly request (James 4:3), there are plenty of biblical examples where God eventually grants the persistent yet imprudent prayers of his people.

Consider Israel’s repeated cry for a king. “We want to be like every other nation!” they relentlessly sniveled. So at last God said, “Fine, here you go” (see 1 Samuel 8). God answered their prayer with exactly the type of leader they requested, but it certainly wasn’t in their best interest.

We may think of God giving non-Christians over to their sin when they are obstinate in chasing what is wrong (Romans 1:24-28), but how often do we Christians doggedly pursue our own interests in our prayer lives without sincerely following Christ’s example of tempering every request with “… nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done” (Luke 22:42)?

We need to learn to be flexible in our asking. We must be honest and humble about our limitations. We may not know what is actually best. We need to be less obstinate concerning our prayer requests and more trusting that God may have a different path or some creative means to accomplish his will in our lives.

So pray, and be specific, but always end your prayers with a malleable heart, which believes that God knows best how to lead and direct his children.