The "Unacceptability" of Black Anger
Robin Lofton
Host of Espresso Talk Today podcast show that helps Black people handle racism and navigate racial encounters. We teach safe and healthful living and controlling racial stress.
Many people remember, as children, being punished for getting angry.?
Anger was considered belligerent and disrespectful.
Children were not allowed to express anger in any way.?
Parents, teachers, and most adults discouraged children from expressing anger.
Siblings, playmates, and most other children discouraged the expression of anger.
As a Black woman, I continue to feel this “unacceptability” of anger.
Society discourages Black people from expressing anger.?
Black men who show anger are viewed as dangerous and must be punished.
Black women who show anger are viewed as hostile and must be avoided.
Black anger is never considered normal.?
White society does not understand Black anger. It fears Black anger.
Black anger is considered hostile, threatening, and unrelenting.
The Roots of the “Unacceptability” of Black Anger
Frederick Douglass said, “Knowledge makes a man unfit to be a slave.”
Does the same logic apply to anger?
Did allowing a man to express anger make him unfit to be a slave?
Absolutely.
Anger was considered an expression of intelligence, confidence, and independence, which the slave system would never permit.
Any obvious expression of anger by an enslaved person such as physical aggression or even an angry look was severely punished.?
Yet we know that enslaved people showed their anger in less obvious ways as in the “songs of slavery” and other coded language in which “slaves” expressed anger about their bondage.?
This coded language also made derisive comments about their enslavers and planned for escape. Enslaved people were also known to put allergens in the food or even spit in the master’s water glass. Their anger was definitely expressed.
Following slavery, Black anger remained a punishable offense. Lynching was a form of social control that told Black people never to feel or show anger towards any white person.
Black anger remains a punishable offense today.
Yet Black people carry anger every day.?
In their seminal book,?Black Rage, psychiatrists William H. Grier and Price M. Cobbs note,?
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"People bear all they can and, if required, bear even more. But if they are Black in present-day America, they have been asked to shoulder too much. They have had all they can stand. They will be harried no more. Turning from their tormentors, they are filled with rage."
~?Black Rage?(1968)
by William H. Grier, M.D.
Price M. Cobbs, M.D.
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Like our previously enslaved ancestors, we have learned how to mask our anger. We have learned how to hide our anger. We have learned how to suppress our anger.?
This can result in mental distress like anxiety, depression, and even suicidal behavior. We have also discussed how it can cause physiological effects like hypertension and other forms of cardiovascular illness.
However, there are adaptive tools to help us live with our anger.
Healthy Ways to Live with Our Anger
?1. Embrace it.
?Anger is considered a secondary emotion. Anger never arrives in a vacuum but is, instead, a response to other emotions that we may be feeling. Embracing anger means to stop pushing it away, stop suppressing it, and start examining what is behind or underneath the anger. What precipitated the anger? What are the underlying emotions??
Embracing your anger rather than avoiding it, denying it, or internalizing or escalating it, affords the opportunity to examine it closely and analyze the situation and yourself more closely. This is when healing can begin.
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2. Share it.
Talk about your anger with a trusted friend, family member, or culturally competent therapist. Journaling about your anger can help you to examine the feeling more deeply. Anger management groups can also be helpful and safe spaces to express your angry feelings.
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3. Transform it.
Anger is a very powerful emotion. You can transform it in different ways so that it does not consume your daily thoughts and energy. Regular exercise is helpful. Walks can be helpful. Listening to music and/or dancing can be a good release.?
Laughter can also be transformative. Studies show that most adults rarely laugh. (This is different for children who laugh hundreds of times throughout the day!) Watch a comedy show, read a funny story. Find something that makes you laugh. Laughing with another person is even more uplifting and transformative.?
Find an adaptive way to transform your anger energy. A culturally competent therapist can be helpful.
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4. Analyze it.
Consider whether anger is taking control or consuming your thoughts and life.?While anger is a basic emotion, it can also be a symptom of mental illness, substance abuse, bipolar disorder, or a traumatic experience.?Anger can also appear as a symptom of grief.?
However, uncontrolled or explosive anger can also lead to domestic violence or other forms of violence, self-harming behavior, or even suicide. Know when to seek help for your anger.?
Black anger is real.?
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Drs. Grier and Cobbs sum it up:
"And of the things that need knowing, none is more important than that all Blacks are angry."
~?Black Rage?(1968)
by William H. Grier, M.D.
Price M. Cobbs, M.D.
You are not alone.
Notice. You can find culturally competent support here:
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Asante sana for reading!