The Ultimate "Two Blockchains Walked Into A Bar" Collection

I was challenged to come up with jokes about blockchain that worked around classic joke premises.

Not a good start

I was not inspired by the "Yo blockchain's so fat" series. Nor did I get a good run at the "Block-block (Who's there?)" series. "How many blockchains does it take to make cryptocurrency mainstream?" (No, that's not going anywhere.) "Q: What's the difference between an anchor and a blockchain? A: You tie a rope to the anchor so you can retrieve it when it goes overboard." (Nope, not that either.) "A: What do you say to the Crypto CEO in a three piece suit? A: Will the defendant please rise." Oy.

Two blockchains walk into a bar.

As unveiled at the Rutgers World Continuous Auditing and Reporting Symposium, I unveil my more valiant effort, based on the "walk into a bar" trope. Do you have a favorite? Would you craft a better one?

Two blockchains walk into a bar ...

1. The bartender said, “A bunch of your friends just tried to get in here, but we had to kick them out; they’re miners.”
2. The bartender said, “Am I seeing double? Weren’t you Bitcoin Cash a little while back?”
3. The bartender said, “Have you visited our place near DeCentral Park?”
4. The bartender said, “I’m keeping my eye on you and your friends; you walked out with all my forks last time.”
5. … something, something, atomic wife swapping
6. One looks at the other and says, “You have got to order the hash here. It usually needs a little salt though.” The other says, “That’s nonce sense.”
7. They complain to the bartender, “We tried to get in last week, but the bouncer thought a SCRAM session meant we had to leave.”
8. Their friends said, “It’s a miracle that you’re here!”. They said, “No, it’s a Merkle.”
9. The bartender asked, “What do you guys want?” One knew what he wanted quickly, but the other had to wait 10 minutes, took all of the tips and wanted 12.5 BTC on top of it.
10. One looked at the other and said, “I hope you can pick up this one. My wallet’s cold, I need gas for my Fiat, and I have a cold in my nodes.”
11. One said, “Have you tried the grill special?” The other said, “I don’t think it was beef; I’ll need proof of steak.” “Did you try it with Worcestershire and A-1”? “No, only a single sauce.”
12. They told the bartender, “We want your best cheap wine. Do you have Thunderbird, MD 20-20 or Wild Irish Rose?” The bartender said, “No, we just have Ripple.”
13. The bartender says, “You guys are always trouble. You don’t understand what each other says; your friends love one of you and hate the other; and you can only pay with your made-up money.”
14. Someone yelled, "Hey, the music can start! 2 Chainz is here!"