The Ultimate Showdown: Me vs. My Inner Critic (Spoiler: It’s a Close Fight)

Every morning, my inner critic, Doubtful Debbie, shows up. “Are you sure you’re good enough for this? Do you really belong here?” Debbie never misses a beat.

I’ve felt imposter syndrome at every stage of my career, from finding my footing as a teenager to leading teams at VMware, WP Engine, Meta, and now. When I was laid off from Meta, it felt like Debbie was winning, validating every fear about not being enough. But setbacks don’t define you. They can teach you resilience. I’ve learned to approach my doubts with curiosity, asking why they show up and what they’re trying to tell me. Often, it means I’m pushing into new, unfamiliar territory—and that’s okay. It means I’m growing.

Lessons from My Inner Critic

1. Embrace the Chaos: Life and work rarely go as planned. Whether managing projects or navigating setbacks, there are days when things feel chaotic. My inner critic might say, “You’re in over your head!” and I respond, “Maybe. But I’m still here, figuring it out.”
2. Finding Strength in Purpose: When I felt unsure of my path, I found purpose through community work, like my time with United Way. Helping others reminded me that I could make a difference, even when I wasn’t sure of my own direction.
3. Accept What You’ve Built: I’m always looking ahead, but sometimes I need to pause and recognize what’s been accomplished—not because it’s perfect, but because it’s real. Debbie might say, “It’s not enough.” I’m learning to say, “It was a step forward.”
4. Lead with Vulnerability: Some of my most potent moments in leadership came from admitting I don’t have all the answers. Being open about my doubts has created space for others to be honest about theirs. Vulnerability isn’t weakness; it’s what makes us human.
5. Trust the Journey: Imposter syndrome makes every success feel like a fluke, every setback feel like proof you’re not cut out for this. But I’ve learned to trust the journey. It’s okay to stumble, to doubt, to feel lost. What matters is showing up, trying again, and growing through discomfort.

The Big Takeaway

Imposter syndrome isn’t a battle you win; it’s a dance you learn to live with. There will always be times when you feel like an impostor, even when you’re doing your best. That’s okay. I can grow if I can sit with that discomfort and listen to Debbie without letting her dictate my every move.

So, if you’ve ever felt like an impostor, remember: It’s okay to doubt yourself—just don’t let it take over. You have so much to offer, and no one can do what you do quite like you.

And as for Debbie: I see you, I hear you, but I’ve got work to do. Feel free to watch, but I’m still in charge.