The ultimate offer for coaches

Let’s face it, I am the six-figure coach that you want to be.

At the end of 2023, I’d earned ￡192,312.37 ??

Not too shabby I think we can agree.

Admittedly, divided over the 19 years, it’s not quite as impressive, and it does include my wife's pay, but that’s hardly the point

I’ve never shared the way I effortlessly manifested such wealth before.

Not even my clients, who pay me 25k per week, get the real secret sauce. ??

Because if I shared it, it wouldn’t be a secret sauce.

It would just be sauce.

Am I right?

But I feel now is the time to allow the whole world to enjoy abundance, too, with my new Secret Cash Attraction Method ?

When I told my friends how much I was going to charge for SCAM? they told me I was batshit crazy - lol.

It’s worth any coach going into ruinous debt for Tim. For fucks sake, you, and you alone can guarantee they will become millionaires, they all shouted.

And my mentor, saviour and guru, Tony Whiteteeth reminded me, If people don’t pay a fucking lot of fucking money for something Tim, they put no fucking value on it. And you can take that to the bank.

But what about air, water, unconditional love, sunshine and compassion, Tony?’ I enquired gently.

He looked down at me and smiled beatifically before responding, Fuck off, Tim, you’re being a prick.

He was right, I was indeed being a prick, by not sharing my gifts and allowing people like you to invest in this incredible opportunity.

So, I’m reluctantly charging for SCAM?.

Not because I want the money.

Money is just energy, and I can manifest it whenever I adjust my vibration settings accordingly.

No, I am charging because I love you ????

And I know that by taking your money I am really helping you step into your soul's abundant spirit of effervescence, alignment and heart-centred desire.

Your success means as much to me as my own.

More.

Because you are me.

And I am you.

And we are all together

To acquire your very own personal copy of SCAM?, my top secret, confidential, incredibly rare, never before available secret road map to unlimited wealth in 7-days working 30 minutes (or less) per day course, all you have to do is to DM me and let me know you are in ??

Then, I will send you my Bitcoin address (I think we both know credit card companies cannot be trusted).

You may think this incredible offer must be at least ￡5,000,000. Or maybe more?

Of course, you’re right, it is worth that, but before I tell you the investment opportunity cost, look what you get.

* Almost unlimited access to me 24/7 limited only by the fact I won’t talk to you, or ever answer my phone - A ￡99,997 value

* Twice weekly calls with some sap I’m paying ￡12 per hour for off Fiverr - ￡9,997

* Your own personal mentor who is dumb enough to work for me and got laughed out of their auditions for The Traitors for being too gullible - ￡4,997

* Access to my Facebook group that is open 24/7. I will be sure to visit when I need more cash - ￡3,997

* A free years membership of Instagram where you can follow me - ￡997

* A shiny certificate saying you took my course- Priceless

* My grandma’s chilli recipe, once independently valued at $99 (by my grandma) -￡297

* An ebook on how to use ChatGPT to make money using ChatGPT produced exclusively by ChatGPT - ￡197

* Some random bonus videos that you’d waste literally minutes finding on YouTube - ￡97

* A coupon that gives you 1.2% off the massive upsell coming your way as soon as you sign up

* A personalised gift for you, because you rock. I can’t tell you what it is, because you know, you rock ?? - ok, yes, it’s a rock with your name misspelled on it

You may be thinking, ‘Well I was going to mortgage my house, but I still doubt I’ll be able to afford to sign up, even with my house money. Although, I can sooooo see it’s worth it for my own, and my families secure future to work with the ??.

But worry not, you’ve got this ??

You can afford it ??

You just have to believe ??

You are the CEO of your own life, own it!

Just remember your vision board, with you living in a beautiful house overlooking the ocean on your own island! ?????

You will be sat in that Infinity pool sipping a cool cocktail by a week on Friday without even needing to hire an AirBnB like I did to take my landing page photos. ??

You just need to send the money.

But the clock is ticking ?

And remember one more thing.

If you discuss this with a sensible adult, or go searching the internet for lies about me, the offer goes away…….forever ??

Sit down before I tell you the price.

Seriously, sit down because I cannot be held responsible when you pass out with shock and bang your head.??

It’s not 5 million dollars, Pounds or even Euros.

It’s just a measly 9,997.

<gasp> Yes, that is all it is.

The cost of just one Starbucks a day.

For 72 years.

You can have all the above and more for the cost of the small badly-performed hip replacement operation you will probably need later in life, but won't be able to afford.

Don’t delay, because you’re the boss and you owe this to yourself. ??

Signing off with love and hugs.

?? Tim xxx ??

PS. Oh, and there’s one more thing: I forgot to tell you about my 100% money-back guarantee. If you’re not 100% delighted (99.9% is not enough), just tell Bitcoin, and they will refund your money immediately.

PPS. Hurry now superstar.

PPPS. Please fucking buy it, I’m hungry.

Look what others said...

"Before Tim's program, I was living in a cardboard box, eating live rats and drinking my own urine. 24 hours later, I was sipping champagne on my new mega-yacht and partying hard with the Dalai Lama. Thanks Tim, you changed my life and you're changing the world!” - Felicia, California

#fullybookedcoach #marketingforcoaches #lifecoaching #SCAMmethod