The Ugly Duckling is All in Your Head

Paddle Your Way into a Group That Recognizes Your Strengths

Like The Ugly Duckling, we can be outcast, excluded, and ridiculed by the brood. All too often, we're not recognized as "swans" where we work- and we often fail to recognize our finer qualities ourselves. Women, in particular, may face derision for daring to fly high and pursue a serious, high powered career.

It takes a lot of exploring, pushing outside our comfortable boundaries, and even suffering before we find out where we belong. And to achieve our potential we have to find support among those who recognize our talents and strengths.

Recognize the "Swan" in Your Own Reflection

The Ugly Duckling must recognize one's own beauty and majesty before they can find acceptance and appreciation in the world at large.

And especially now, we must be secure in our own sense of worth before we can attain the recognition and reward we deserve at work.

This doesn't come easily, since we're sometimes our own worst critics, focusing on shortcomings instead of talents.

The need to prove yourself can actually ignite greater drive and ambition.

You don't have to grow up feeling or looking like a swan to become one. There is no magic recipe for self-confidence or self-esteem. But here are a few tricks of the trade that I've found to be helpful.

Identify Your Own Strengths

No one is good at everything. The secret is to identify your talents and skills, cultivate them, find a job where you can use them, and find people who appreciate what you can do.

Try this exercise: Duckling to Swan

Answer these questions...

• What are you good at in your current job that you feel like is being under utilized?
• What steps can you take to have more opportunity to use your skills and talents?
• What are some memorable instances of special accomplishments at work?
• What 3 steps can you take to get more recognition at work right now?
• What 3 steps can you take to get more rewards in the future?

Give Yourself a Pat on the Back

Once you're comfortable giving yourself private congratulations, you can learn to let others know about your accomplishments.

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You don't have to be an outrageous egotist or narcissist trumpeting your superiority to the world at large. But you have to be ready to let people know what you're good at and make it clear that you understand your own value and gifts.

Accept That Not Everyone Will Be a Supporter

Many equate being liked with being good. And so, they end up feeling like The Ugly Duckling, who couldn't find acceptance among the ducks and the geese, no matter how hard he tried to fit in.

If you want to survive in the wilds of the business world, it's crucial to accept that you just won't click with some people. Being nice, honest, and a team player isn't always enough. Some people won't like you no matter what you do- and that's okay.

Surround Yourself with Swans

While you're not likely to experience quite such a glorious reception in the business world, you can find a great deal of satisfaction when you surround yourself with people who recognize your strengths and appreciate your ideas.

Cultivate Supporters in Your Own Company

It takes a proactive stance to cultivate support because it doesn't always happen spontaneously.

• Help people. The number 1 way to turn people into supporters is to do them a favor, and not just once but consistently.
• Deliver on what you will say you will do. People really appreciate someone they can count on.
• Praise a coworker. Give compliments to a colleague for something they've done- and mean it. Praise them in front of others- share the love!
• Don't be a gossip. It's a waste of time!
• Don't be a "yes-person." Don't always be the one who agrees with or curries favor with the bosses. Be honest with your opinions.
• Look for connections-and something extra. We all have something to learn from one another.

Stay the Course as Support Ebbs and Flows

Finding and keeping supporters in the business world is a fluid endeavor. You can't rest on your laurels or always count on a core of group of supporters to stay enthusiastic.

You are your biggest supporter!

It may take time to get the recognition and support you deserve. You may have to wait for the right moment, when the corporate culture, the marketplace, and even society at large catch up with your ideas and aspirations.

Be patient and remember that recognition that is hard-won is often most satisfying.

Fairy Dust from The Ugly Duckling

• Recognize your own strengths and talents even if you are not yet appreciated at work.
• Give yourself a pat on the back instead of waiting for other people to praise you.
• Accept that not everyone will be a supporter and don't let it diminish your sense of self-worth.
• Cultivate supporters in your company by doing other people favors, delivering on what you promise, and giving co-workers deserved praise.
• Surround yourself with other "swans" by joining an industry group or a crossover group.
• Look for like-minded supportive people by joining or forming groups inside or outside the work realm.
• Further your skills and education in an area that you've always aspired to with others you've always wanted to get to know in those fields.
• Stay the course as support ebbs and flows and keep paddling toward your goal!

Lighting your tree of knowledge,

Cary