UFO: The Revolutionary New Policy That Will Fix Everything Wrong with Workplaces

Corporate leaders have for years been shackled by the heavy burden of Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI). Hiring based on skills? Providing equal opportunities? Making sure employees feel valued? Exhausting. It’s time to pivot to a more efficient, familiar, and risk-free approach—one that prioritizes ease, predictability, and the comfort of those who truly matter. Introducing UFO: Uniformity, Favoritism, and Omission—the real secret to a workplace free from unnecessary change and uncomfortable progress.

Uniformity: Because Sameness Is Stability

Diversity was a nice experiment, but let’s be honest: too many perspectives create too much complexity. Who has time to manage different communication styles, cultural expectations, and viewpoints when a uniform workforce ensures everything runs smoothly?

The UFO model guarantees a workplace where everyone looks the same, thinks the same, and acts the same—reducing the burden of adapting to fresh ideas or reconsidering long-standing policies. Need innovation? Why disrupt what already works?

Meetings become simpler when no one is there to ask difficult questions. Team dynamics remain smooth when every employee instinctively nods along to leadership’s decisions. And best of all, no more agonizing over whether a joke might be offensive—because everyone in the room has the same sense of humor!

Favoritism: The True Path to Success

For too long, companies have pretended that promotions should be based on merit and performance. But let’s be real—nepotism and loyalty have always been the backbone of success. The UFO model embraces favoritism as a strategic advantage, ensuring that the people who get ahead are those who already know how to play the game.

Instead of wasting time with blind application processes or merit-based evaluations, leadership can fast-track the people they already like—those who:

? Always agree with the boss

? Have the right family connections

? Master the art of strategic small talk at corporate retreats

? Know how to say “That’s a great idea, sir” at just the right moment

Favoritism isn’t just practical—it’s efficient. It prevents the awkwardness of having to pretend that opportunities are truly open to everyone. Why let outsiders climb the ladder when the right people can do so effortlessly?

Omission: The Key to a Stress-Free Workplace

Inclusion is hard work. It requires effort, attention, and a willingness to change. That’s why the final pillar of the UFO model—Omission—is the most powerful of all. Instead of actively excluding people, which sounds bad in a press release, UFO simply omits them from the conversation altogether.

Difficult discussions? Omitted.

Challenging voices? Omitted.

Alternative perspectives? Omitted.

The brilliance of Omission is that it removes the illusion of exclusion—instead of saying “no,” companies simply fail to acknowledge that certain people or ideas exist at all. This means no more pesky complaints about underrepresentation, pay gaps, or lack of opportunity. If an issue isn’t addressed, does it even exist?

Recruitment efforts? Just stop advertising broadly.

Leadership meetings? No need to invite everyone.

Pay transparency? Let’s just… not bring it up.

With Omission, companies can craft a streamlined, simplified version of reality—one where everything seems perfectly fine, because the inconvenient truths have been neatly left out of the equation.

The Results? A Perfectly Stagnant Organization

With UFO, companies will enjoy the stability that only comes from a lack of progress. Employees will feel safe knowing that they’ll never be challenged by a fresh perspective. Leadership teams will remain comforted by the familiar faces they’ve known since their fraternity days.

Innovation? Dead.

Creativity? Gone.

Morale? Who needs it?

And when profits inevitably decline? Don’t worry—blame the interns.

So why change anything? The corporate world doesn’t need transformation. It needs tradition.

Who needs diversity when you can have conformity?

Who needs equity when you can have favoritism?

Who needs inclusion when you can have a strict, self-reinforcing power hierarchy?

It’s time to ditch DEI and embrace the effortless efficiency of UFO, where Uniformity keeps things simple, Favoritism ensures only the right people succeed, and Omission guarantees that nothing ever gets too complicated.

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Welcome to UFO. The future of failure starts today.

Omar L. Harris is the managing partner at?Intent Consulting, a firm dedicated to improving employee experience and organizational performance and author of?Leader Board: The DNA of High-Performance Teams; The Servant Leader's Manifesto; Be a J.E.D.I. Leader, Not a Boss: Leadership in the Era of Corporate Social Justice, Equity, Diversity, and Inclusion; Leading Change: The 4 Keys; Hire the Right W.H.O.M.: Sourcing the Right Team DNA Every Time; and The J.E.D.I. Leader's Playbook: The Insider's Guide to Eradicating Injustices, Eliminating Inequities, Expanding Diversity, and Enhancing Inclusion?available for purchase in ebook, print, and audio on?Amazon.com. Please follow him?Instagram,?BlueSky, and/or his?website?for more information and engagement.