Tyranny

Our inability to hold two perspectives in tension is costing us.

I can’t respect someone who voted for _______?

If you don’t think _______ is wrong, we can’t be friends.

Christians are ________.

Why am I the only one who _______?

“Genius of the AND is a concept developed in the book Built to Last. Builders of greatness reject the "Tyranny of the OR" and embrace the "Genius of the AND." They embrace both extremes across a number of dimensions at the same time—purpose AND profit, continuity AND change, freedom AND responsibility, discipline AND creativity, humility AND will, empirical analysis AND decisive action, etc.” Jim Collins

When we are disrupted and can’t see a way forward, we often slip into the mindset of, “It is what it is.” This statement brings up feelings of defeat and inevitability even though our perspective might be largely untrue.

Does it have to be this way?

What if it wasn’t?

Effective coaches help clients shift perspectives, especially when the client is over-simplifying or feeling stuck.? From a place of clarity and fluidity, the client can make a resonant choice.? This is not about pretending that everything is OK when it isn’t or getting to the right answer.? It is about moving out of a deterministic, fixed mindset to explore what else might be possible.

“It is what it is.”

What else might be true?

What if I had asked for this?? Restoration of choice brings back agency and removes resistance.

I am inviting us to consider a thing that seems “fixed” that is robbing us of energy.

What if the opposite were true?

What is the 1% that I might have wrong about this?

“My portfolio took a beating in 2022.? It is what it is.”

What is my relationship to money?

What does this change?

Is there a lesson here??

Although none of this changes the balance of my holdings, it can enable me to choose what is available in this experience.

In improvisation there is an energy that builds from “yes and.”? What if that firmly held belief that we hold to be true ended with “ yes and”?? What might open up? What relationships could that build up?

Mass layoffs and accompanying culture shifts are heavy on many of our minds and hearts.

“I can’t believe a company that claimed to be X, Y and Z would do this.”

What would “yes and” hold for us?

What if what we believed is still true?

What if it isn’t?

Getting to a certain perspective is not the goal, shifting and staying fluid is.

I tend to trust my process and my beliefs, too much too often.? If you are successful by traditional standards, much of your feedback loop likely encourages you to do the same.? I am learning to recognize sooner and more often how consistently wrong I am about so many things through the people (my wife and my coach) who challenge how I am seeing things.? Built on a foundation of trust, both push back consistently as I invite them into my process.

I get to be right a lot less often, and I get better more often..

“It’s going to be a rough year.? It is what it is.”

How do I want to look back on this time?

What might I learn about myself?

Some of you may be thinking, sure I see what you’re doing, but for ______, I could never….

Really?

What is it costing you to be right about this?

Is it worth it?

Where are you being tyrannized by OR and where could the genius of AND take you? Find someone who can hold that space with you to see what else might be possible.